Buck Privates Come Home

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The victory march through Paris.

The buck privates have

fought their war and won...

...and they march in glory.

Their reward...

they're going home.

It's one of the miracles of our times...

...that this, the greatest fighting

force the world has ever known,

came into being one autumn day in 1940.

On this day, Congress passed the Draft Act,

calling the nation's youth to arms.

And the young manhood of America

answered the call.

They came millions strong

from all walks oflife.

Farmers, schoolboys and others

ofless creditable occupations.

Have I ever had the opportunity of...

...presenting such

merchandise to the public?

Feel that material. Friends,

all I'm asking for is 10 cents.

Here, I got a buck.

- The gentleman buys 10 ties.

How can he sell ties that cheap?

We ain't got no overhead. We haven't

even got a license. Feel that material.

It won't wrinkle or fade.

Fade, Smitty, fade.

What's wrong?

What's wrong? The opper-cay is here.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Come here, you.

Some were so eager to volunteer, they

actually ran to the recruiting station.

Herbie, quick, get in line.

We'll hide in the movies.

When we get in,

we'll stay a long time.

Get a couple of tickets. Okay.

These were the buck privates. They

had to be taught the arts of war.

They had to learn to become soldiers.

Get back there.

You first four, form in.

Right face.

Forward march.

Detail, halt.

Left face.

Order arms.

You four are undoubtedly

the dumbest numskulls...

I've ever had the misfortune of drilling.

Private Smith, fall out. You seem

to know what this is all about.

Take over these men.

Drill them for half an hour...

...and see if you can

sweat some sense into them.

I'm exhausted. The rest

of you men, follow me.

Forward march. Put my gun

in the tent. Count off.

One, two, three, four.

Bingo.

You behave yourself,

do you understand?

I won't warn you again.

Get your chins up.

Get your chest out.

Throw out your chest.

Get your chest out.

Throw it out.

I'm not through with it yet. Quiet.

Right shoulder arms.

Come on. Pick it up.

I thought I had it.

Pick it up. Come on.

Snap into it. All right.

Big man now? Big captain? Quiet.

Order arms. I'll have a cap pistol.

You keep quiet.

I won't warn you again.

All right, all right. Pick

on somebody else. Quiet.

Right shoulder arms.

I said right shoulder.

That's your left shoulder.

I'm left-handed.

Get it over.

It feels better over here. Get it over there.

What a...

Get it over there.

Left shoulder arms.

Right shoulder arms.

Why don't you make up

your mind? Get back there.

Right shoulder arms. Left

shoulder arms. Quiet..

Do as you're told.

Order arms.

Right shoulder arms. Left

shoulder arms. Quiet..

Present arms.

C'mon, I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Do you want it? Put it up there. Get it up.

Get it up.

Right face.

Come on. Come on.

Left face.

Turn with the rest of'em. The guy hit me.

Turn with the rest of'em. Pick it up.

Right face.

Right face.

Forward march.

Halt. Halt.

Where are you going? I don't know.

You don't know? Well,

find out. Now, get with it.

What time is it?

None of your business.

About face.

Forward march.

Hi, fellas.

Halt. Halt.

You guys are going the wrong

way. Will you get in line?

I don't know. You got me in

this mess. Get a load of this.

Right face. Forward march. Halt.

Right face. Forward march. Halt.

Right face.

Forward march.

Halt.

Left face.

Ahhh, gently.

Right face.

Right face.

Whew. Boy, what a time

we had with them three.

Yeah.

Forward march.

Even now, with the victory long since won,

it's hard to believe that these...

...precision-like columns

marching homeward...

...were the awkward, raw recruits

of short years ago.

We're goin'home we're goin'home

Every son of a gun of a one

of us knows we're goin' home

No more uniforms to wear

no more sergeants in our hair

No peeling a spud or hikin'

in mud we left that over there

We're goin' home we're goin' home

And our second lieutenant is

out of a job hooray, hooray

We can sleep till after 10:00

then go back to sleep again

Because we're goin' home

We're on our way we're on our way

Every son of a gun of a one

of us knows we're on our way

Oh, I'd like to dance a jig

no more ditches do we dig

No makin' a slip or shootin'

your lip and landin' in the brig

We're goin' home we're goin' home

Oh, we'll never be missed and we

don't give a hip-hooray, hooray

Left, right, left, right. Left, right,

left, right. Left, right, left, right.

Left, right, left, right.

Left... halt.

About face.

Wait a minute.

What are you talking about?

I don't know.

Forward... march.

Left, right, left, right. Left,

right, left, right. Left, right...

What's the matter with you, Brown? Halt.

About face.

Come here.

If I gotta die of old age in this man's army,

I'm gonna teach you your

left foot from your right.

I don't think it's gonna do

much good, Sergeant.

None of your lip. Carry on. Honest.

Forward march. Left, right, left,

right. Left, right, left, right.

Left...

Collins.

Yes, sir.

Get the men to their quarters. The

colonel's ordered a shakedown inspection.

Too many men have been

bringing in illegal souvenirs.

Very well, sir. See that every duffel

bag is ready for a thorough search.

I understand, sir.

Hey, you guys, duck everything that's hot.

The captain's coming for inspection.

Don't they know the war's over?

Don't push, Slicker.

All right. Stop worrying.

I gotta get this bag outta here.

Just get rid of the contraband.

I still gotta get this bag out.

What have you got in that bag?

What have you got in that bag?

Just stuff, any kind of stuff.

You have got contraband,

haven't you? Contraband?

Speak up. Tell me the truth. Whew, yeah.

I thought so. Show it to me. All right.

This German booby trap.

Why worry about that?

They'll think that's a camera. Wait

a minute. Has that been 'demined'?

Has it been what?

You know, disconnected?

Oh, don't worry, Slicker. Nothin'

ever happens when you do this.

And nothing never happens

when you do this. Oh.

But never, never,

never... do that.

That's what sets off the bomb. I see.

It's a time bomb.

Get rid of it.

You can have it.

I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Oh, no, no, no.

Get rid of it.

Look out.

You won't hear it now if it

goes off. Neither will you.

Get out, everybody. Wait

a minute. Not you, not you.

Here, put this here. Get

rid of it. No, no, Slicker.

Hold it. Go ahead, get rid of it.

What are you gonna do?

Not in there.

Ka-boom.

Out the porthole.

Out the porthole. Get out

of there. Out the porthole.

You mean the window.

Get over there.

Get it out..

Hello, Slicker.

Evey.

How did you...

Oh, I told Herbie not to...

Duck. Duck quick.

Hurry up, get in there.

Duck.

Herbie..

Herbie. Herbie.

Herbie.

Herbie.. Herbie..

Wow, am I glad I got that window open.

Why didn't you throw it

overboard when you were outside?

You told me to throw it out the window

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