Bugs bunny’s birthday blowout review

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Title:
Caleb Reynolds reviews Bugs Bunny’s Birthday Blow Out on the NES

Fade in:

INT. Living room - Day

We see Caleb and Annie sitting on a couch with a TV and a NES in front of them. Caleb is holding a gamepad while Annie is taking notes on a pad.

Caleb:
(speaking to the camera) Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to another episode of bad video games. Today we're going to review a classic NES game called Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blow Out.

Annie:
(looking at her notes) This game was released in 1990 by Kemco. It's a side-scrolling game where you play as Bugs Bunny on his birthday.

Caleb:
(sarcastic) Yeah, because what Bugs Bunny really needs is a birthday game.

Annie:
(laughing) Right? So, how does it play?

Caleb:
(groaning) It's terrible. The controls are clunky, the level layout is confusing, and the enemies are cheap.

Annie:
(nodding) And don't get me started on those breakable blocks over bottomless pits.

Caleb:
(getting frustrated) And why do the enemies hurt you when you hurt them?

Suddenly, we see a flash of light and both Caleb and Annie are surprised.

YOUNG CALEB:
(to older Caleb)What’s up, me?

YOUNG ANNIE:
(to older Annie)Is this some kind of magic trick?

CALEB AND ANNIE:
(screaming in horror)It’s us! From the past!

Caleb and Annie jump up from the couch and immediately start punching their younger selves. Young Caleb and Young Annie try to defend themselves, but they are no match for the rage of their older selves.

ANNIE:
(panting)I can’t believe we used to be so dumb.

CALEB:
(shrugging)I had the most embarrassing childhood.

ANNIE:
(nodding)You’re darn right you did.

Suddenly, Caleb and Annie have a flashback to a Mother Goose Club video from 2011, where they are singing “Pop Goes the Weasel” while wearing brightly colored clothing.

CALEB:
(facepalming)Oh God, not this.

ANNIE:
(smiling)I’d forgotten about this. It’s so cute.

As the flashback ends, Caleb and Annie notice that their younger selves are back in the room.

CALEB:
(grabbing Young Caleb and Young Annie)That’s it, you two! Get out of here!

ANNIE:
(lifting Young Caleb and Young Annie up)We don’t have time for this nonsense.

Caleb and Annie throw their younger selves out of the room and return to their game.

Annie:
(continuing the review) The game's generosity with extra lives is the only positive thing here.

Caleb:
(frustrated) But that's not worth struggling through this mess!

Their younger selves return and they have had enough.

young caleb:
sup Bros

(Caleb hits Young Caleb‘s head on the floor while pulling young Caleb‘s hair)

Caleb:
I'D RATHER PUT MY TESTICLES, IN A CROCODILE'S MOUTH, WHILE SHOVING MY HEAD, UP A, UNICORN'S BUTTHOLE!!!

Caleb:
Well, here's Tweety again. Get out here! Come on, come on! You little Tweety frick! Alright, here's Elmer fricking' Fudd. Come on! Ugh, you son of a crap! Now what's he doing to me? Ugh, get off! A lot of times, you're supposed to break blocks to get to where you're supposed to go, which is tedious as all hell- (falls and dies) WHAT A CRAPPY LOAD OF GODDAMN BULLFRICK!

Young caleb :
Nyah, ain't I a fricking' stinker, DORKO?

Caleb:
AIN'T YOU A GODDAMN FRICKING' PIECE OF CRAP?! (throws young caleb to the hallway floor, then kicks and steps on his head with vigor and force over and over again)

Caleb:
Oh, I hate this crap right here. These platforms keep disappearing when you jump on 'em. Frick! Alright, let's try this again. Keep jumpin', keep jumpin'! Oh, oh, here we go! Oh, okay. Here-here we go! Yes! Okay, next rope. Oh no, wait! Ugh! Son of a crap!

young Annie:
(peeking through the doorway) What's up?!

(Annie takes a Mario ball and throws it at young annie's face)

Caleb:
Sometimes, when you have to go down, you're never sure of whether or not you're gonna fall and die. Ugh! Mother of a frick! (young caleb sees stars) I hate those stars. I really, really, fricking' hate 'em. You can't hit anybody without getting hit. And everything you try to step on, it breaks away! It's just total crap

young Caleb:
what's all the hubbub... Bub?

(Caleb gets enraged and tackles young Caleb to the floor)

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