Bull Durham Page #11

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NUKE:

Get your holy ass in Room 401.

He hustles to the next door, and pounds madly.

--P.O.V. IN SECOND DOOR -- TWO NAKED WOMEN with Jose and

Tony, nearly nude.

NUKE:

Hundred dollar fine if you're not

in #401 in five.

JOSE:

Hundred dollars?!

JOSE AND TONY LOOK AT THE TWO WOMEN -- It's a lot of money

in Class AAA ball.

TONY:

Christ. Sorry ladies...

JOSE AND TONY HURRY OUT in their shorts.

NAKED LADY:

Go to hell! You're in last place

anyway!

AND NUKE HURRIES DOWN THE HALL -- Pounding on each door.

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP -- CONTINUOUS

CRASH EATING ALONE -- Peacefully. Nuke arrives excitedly.

NUKE:

Crash! Skip wants everybody in

#401 for a team meeting. Hundred

buck fine if ya don't show!

CRASH PULLS OUT THE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL and hands it to him.

CRASH:

Party without me.

NUKE:

God--what a Big League move.

NUKE TAKES THE MONEY and hurries back.

CUT TO:

INT. THE PARTY ROOM CONTINUOUS

24 PLAYERS AND 8 ICE SKATERS -- Some of the players Nuke

rounded up are partially dressed. Skip spots the women.

SKIP:

Who are you?

ICE SKATER #1

We're ice skaters. Can we go

now?

SKIP:

No. I want you to hear my

philosophy. It'll do you some

good

(beat)

Here It is. This is a simple

game. You throw the ball, you

hit the ball, you catch the ball.

You got that?!

ICE SKATER #1

(frightened)

Yes.

SKIP:

Are you lovely creatures aware

that you are about to compromise

yourselves with a buncha bums who

are--

(to Larry)

--what are we?

LARRY:

Eight and twenty-four.

SKIP:

Eight and twenty-four! How'd we

ever win 8 games?

LARRY:

It's a miracle.

SKIP:

Look, guys--I'm a man, I got needs

too. I understand this party--

but...

(beat)

sex is the one thing you can get

further behind in and catch up

faster than anything I know.

(beat)

There's a baseball lesson in there

somewhere.

(looking around)

Where's Crash?

NUKE STEPS FORWARD -- Hands Skip the hundred dollar bill..

NUKE:

He can't make it. Here's his

fine.

SKIP:

Aw Christ, he don't have to come.

He's hitting .350.

TOMMY:

Don't you think that's a double

standard--we're here and he ain't?

SKIP:

I believe in a double standard

for guys hitting .350.

(beat)

Look, men--you got a choice. You

wanta be roasting your nuts off

for Midas Muffler welding exhaust

pipes up the a**holes of

Cadillacs...or--

(beat)

You wanta be sitting in the Caddy

while some other guy's crawling

around in a monkey suit with a

blow torch?

(beat)

There's only two places you can

be in life--in the Caddy or under

it.

(nearly pleading)

These are the best years of your

lives. These are the glamor days.

(beat)

It don't got any better than this.

(threatening, tough)

But...if this club don't start

winning soon, there's gonna be

changes made!

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE'S HOUSE SIMULTANEOUS -- NIGHT

CLOSE ON TELEVISION -- "DYNASTY" drones on.

DEKE'S WIFE

(wistfully)

Deke was a great player in high

school. I thought held go right

to the Major Leagues--I was gonna

be a Big League wife.

(beat)

Pass the Pampers, please.

CRASH:

Helluva guy--

Silence.

Crash flips off the T.V. with the remote.

NUKE:

Can I ask you something?

CRASH:

What?

NUKE:

What would you think of a pitcher

who wore women's panties?

CRASH:

If he had a good breaking ball,

I'd respect the sh*t outta him.

Crash turns off the light.

CLOSE ON NUKE -- A bit of light spill on his face. Eyes

open. A long ways from sleep.

CUT TO:

EXT. A CAROLINA LEAGUE BALLPARK -- NIGHT

CLOSE ON NUKE'S FACE -- He takes his cap off, wipes his brow.

He's pitching. Everything in SLO-MO.

FANS IN THE BALLPARK LAUGH at Nuke, mocking his.

EXTREME CLOSE UP ON NUKE'S EYES -- Frightened.

SLOW FULLBACK ON NUKE -- HE'S STARK NAKED save for his cap

and glove. Everyone else is clothed.

NUKE WINDS AND PITCHES in the nude. SLO-MO...and as the

batter cranks up to take a vicious swing--

CUT TO:

INT. TEAM BUS -- DAWN

CLOSE ON NUKE'S FACE -- He awakes with a start.

NUKE:

No!

CRASH LEANS OVER and shakes him.

CRASH:

Wake up, it's okay...you're

dreaming...

CRASH HELPS NUKE back to consciousness. Nuke shakes his

head, trying to wake up. Crash Is almost tender.

NUKE:

I was playing naked.

CRASH:

I know, I know--I have that dream

all the time. We're almost home.

The Bus continues across the Carolina landscape.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE STADIUM PARKING LOT -- DAWN

The team bus pulls into a deserted parking lot. A few of

the players' cars are parked. Some of the wives and

girlfriends. And Annie.

THE PLAYERS SHUFFLE OFF the bus. Tired and beat.

CLOSE ON NUKE -- He looks worse than the rest. He sees Annie

and waves. She's waiting next to her old Volvo.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREETS OF DURHAM MOMENTS LATER

ANNIE'S VOLVO PULLS OUT -- She drives.

INT. THE VOLVO -- DAY

Annie is up--Nuke is down.

NUKE:

God I'm tired. What a trip I was

lousy. I was worse than lousy.

Everytime I pitched--it was like

throwing gasoline on a fire.

Kaboom. I--

ANNIE:

What is this "I, I, I" stuff?

You only talk about yourself?

Aren't you glad to see me? Don't

I look nice?

NUKE:

Sorry. You look great. I'm

totally exhausted.

ANNIE:

Good. Total exhaustion can be

spiritually fabulous.

(beat)

Let's play catch.

NUKE:

Catch?

CUT TO:

EXT. ANNIE'S BACKYARD -- MORNING

Flowers and birdfeeders everywhere. And, 60 feet away in

complete, oversized catcher's gear--

JACKSON IN A CATCHER'S CROUCH -- Nuke stares, in his street

clothes, but now with a glove and ball.

JACKSON:

Hum, babe, hum, babe, fire it in

here, hum babe--

ANNIE:

That's not necessary, Jackson---

(beat)

Okay, Nuke, now lean in for the

sign.

He does. Jackson flashes some ridiculous signs.

NUKE:

This in ridiculous. I'm a pro.

ANNIE:

Just do what I say. Now, which

nostril are you breathing through?

NUKE:

Which nostril am I breathing

through?

Annie puts her hand under his nose.

ANNIE:

The right nostril. Good.

NUKE:

My right nostril?

ANNIE:

There are two important psychic

conduits called the "pingala" and

the "ida". The pingala starts

with the left testicle (or left

ovary of the female) and ends at

the right nostril.

She touches his left nut through his pants in a matter of

fact manner. He stares back.

ANNIE:

The ida originates at the right

testicle(or ovary) and terminates

at the left nostril.

NUKE:

I'm really beat. I need some

serious "z's"--

ANNIE:

The pingala is the nostril used

for throwing a baseball.

(beat)

And if you discover before a game

you're in the wrong nostril, it's

easy to switch.

NUKE:

Switch nostrils?

ANNIE:

Right. Okay, fire a couple in

there.

NUKE TOSSES AN EASY PITCH to Jackson. Annie's incensed.

ANNIE:

You're patronizing me! I will

not be patronized--

NUKE:

If I throw too hard I'll hurt the

kid.

ANNIE:

He's handled a lotta pitchers

whose records were better than

one and six.

Nuke gets a little steamed. He feels his nostril, winds,

and fires a medium speed fastball to Jackson.

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