Bull Durham Page #4

---

EBBY:

Thanks for the note--you're right,

I wasn't bending my back.

ANNIE:

You got a live arm there.

He extends his hand to introduce himself.

EBBY:

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.

ANNIE:

You need a nickname.

EBBY:

That's what I been telling

everybody! Wanta dance?

CRASH:

She's dancing with me.

ANNIE:

Crash, I didn't think you--

CRASH:

I'll learn. C'mon--

EBBY:

Just a minute, pal

The two men square off quickly. Annie mocks them.

ANNIE:

You boys gonna fight over little

me?

CRASH RISES, pulling Annie with him. But--

EBBY STANDS to challenge Crash.

EBBY:

Step outside, pal.

CRASH:

Love to--

ANNIE:

Oh don't be such guys--

But Crash and Ebby head outside. She turns to Max--

ANNIE:

Hell, Max, wanta dance?

CUT TO:

EXT. THE PARKING LOT -- NIGHT

A circle is formed. Everybody gathers. Millie clings to

Tony, her guy of the moment. Crash and Ebby face off.

CRASH:

I don't believe in fighting.

EBBY:

P*ssy.

CRASH:

Take the first shot at me.

EBBY:

I ain't hitting a man first.

CRASH:

Hit me in the chest with this...

CRASH PULLS A BASEBALL from his jacket pocket, tosses it to

Ebby.

EBBY:

I'd kill ya.

CRASH:

From what I hear you couldn't hit

a bull in the ass with a slingshot

EBBY:

Don't try me.

CRASH:

Throw it. C'mon, right in the

chest.

EBBY:

No way.

CRASH:

C'mon, Meat. You can't hit me

'cause you're starting to think

about it already, you're starting

to think how embarrassing it'll

be to miss, how all these people

would laugh.

(teasing mercilessly)

C'mon, Rook--show me that million

dollar arm 'cause I'm getting a

good idea about the five cent

head--

EBBY REARS BACK AND FIRES THE BALL -- From ten feet away,

right at Crash's chest. But, alas--

THE BALL GOES THROUGH A SECOND STORY WINDOW in the distance.

Crash never blinks.

CRASH:

Ba11 four.

EBBY IS ENRAGED -- HE CHARGES CRASH, lunging at him.

EBBY:

Who the f*** are you?!

CRASH LASHES OUT A SHORT LEFT -- With lightning speed,

effortless. And brutal. BANG! Ebby goes down. And stays

there stunned. He looks up.

CRASH:

I'm Crash Davis. Your new catcher.

And you just got Lesson Number

One--"Don't think--it can only

hurt the ballclub".

(beat)

Buy ya a drink?

CUT TO:

INT. THE CLUB -- NIGHT

ANNIE AND MAX DANCE to Billy Eckstein on the juke box. Millie

and Tony are also on the dance floor.

ECKSTEIN (ON JUKE BOX)

April in Paris, chestnuts in

blossom, Holiday tables under the

tree...

EBBY AND CRASH WATCH FROM THE CORNER TABLE -- Ebby's right

eye is blackened. He holds a drink on it.

EBBY:

We fight, she gets the clown--

how's that happen?

CRASH:

Shut up--I like this song...

(sings along)

April in Paris, this is a feeling,

No one can ever reprieve...

EBBY:

She's playing with my mind.

CRASH:

It's a damn easy thing to play

with.

ANNIE SUDDENLY APPEARS at the table.

ANNIE:

Well--you boys stopped fighting

yet? Are you pals now? Good. I

love a little macho male bonding--

I think it's sweet even if it's

probably latent homosexuality

being "re-channeled" but I believe

in "re-channeling" so who cares,

right?

(beat)

Shall we go to my place?

EBBY:

Which one of us?

ANNIE:

Oh both of you, of course...

CLOSE ON EBBY -- His eyes full of fear and wonder.

CLOSE ON CRASH -- He smiles.

THE THREE OF THEM LEAVE the bar together.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

THE SHRINE OF BASEBALL GLOWS -- Annie lights the candles.

EBBY AND CRASH SIT ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF HER COUCH -- Both men

look around the room with wonder. Ebby is clearly more

nervous than Crash, who's been in some strange rooms in his

minor league career.

ANNIE:

These are the ground rules.

(beat)

I hook up with one guy a season--

I mean it takes me a couple of

weeks to pick the guy--kinda my

own spring training...

(beat)

And, well, you two are the most

promising prospects of the season

so far.

(beat)

So... I thought we should get to

know each other.

CRASH:

Why do you get to choose? Why

don't I get to choose?

ANNIE:

Actually none of us on this planet

ever really choose each other.

It's all Quantum Physics and

molecular attraction. There are

laws we don't understand that

bring us together and break us

apart.

EBBY:

Is somebody gonna go to bed with

somebody or what?

ANNIE:

You're a regular nuclear meltdown,

honey--slow down.

Crash rises to leave, and heads for the door.

CRASH:

After 12 years in the minor

leagues, I don't tryout. Besides--

I don't believe in, Quantum Physics

when it comes to matters of the

heart...or loins.

ANNIE:

(challenging him)

What do you believe in?

Crash at the door. Annie's question is slightly taunting.

He stops, and speaks with both aloofness and passion:

CRASH:

I believe in the soul, the cock,

the p*ssy, the small of a woman's

back, the hanging curve ball,

high fiber, good scotch, long

foreplay, show tunes, and that

the novels of Thomas Pynchon are

self-indulgent, overrated crap.

(beat)

I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald

acted alone, I believe that there

oughtta be a constitutional

amendment outlawing astro-turf

and the designated hitter, I

believe in the "sweet spot", voting

every election, soft core

pornography, chocolate chip

cookies, opening your presents on

Christmas morning rather than

Christmas eve, and I believe in

long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses

that last for 7 days.

ANNIE:

(breathless)

Oh my...

(softly)

Don't leave...

CRASH:

G'night.

Crash heads out into the night. Annie hurries to the-door

while Ebby sits on the couch, bewildered.

EBBY:

Hey--what's all this molecule

stuff?

ANNIE STANDS IN THE DOORWAY -- Crash is on the porch.

ANNIE:

Wait, Crash--don't go--all I want

is a date. I'm not gonna fall in

love with you or nothin'.

CRASH:

I'm not interested in a woman

who's interested in that boy.

ANNIE:

I'm not interested yet.

Ebby appears in the door.

EBBY:

Who you calling a "boy"?

CRASH:

See ya at the yard, Meat.

Crash walks out into the Durham night. Ebby and Annie stand

in the doorway. She speaks softly to Ebby.

ANNIE:

No ballplayer ever said "no" to a

date with me.

EBBY:

Well sh*t, then, let's f***.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

ANNIE PUTS ON A RECORD -- Edith Piaf sings "Le Trois Cloches".

EBBY STARTS UNDRESSING across the room.

ANNIE:

Wait, honey, slow down--I want to

watch.

She sits in a chair. Piaf sings. Ebby practically rips his

shirt off, exposing a great upper body.

ANNIE:

No, no, no. Put it back on and

take it off slowly.

EBBY:

Jesus, what kinda broad are you?

ANNIE:

When you know how to make love,

you'll know how to pitch.

(turning to the stereo)

Shh. I love this part.

Piaf sings. Annie listens. Ebby re-buttons, then unbuttons

his shirt. It drops, revealing his back.

ANNIE:

Oh my--what a nice back.

Ebby drops his pants.

ANNIE:

No, no, honey... first the shoes

and socks.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote