Bullet Head Page #5

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he pleased.

Kept on coming into the yard

and digging up those bluebells.

[sighs]

My mom would cry each time.

She'd go out,

try to fix the mess,

put it all back together,

start fresh.

But that dog would go

and do it all over.

I went to talk

to the owner.

I asked him please to keep

his pet out of our yard.

He was a big guy,

even bigger than the dog.

And I was just a boy.

Well, this mastiff...

[laughs]

...he went and did it again.

And again, and again,

and again, and again.

[grunts]

So you know what I did?

I shot him.

The neighbor, I mean.

You see,

a beast cannot

be expected

to understand

private property.

But a man,

even a stupid one,

knows the difference

between mine...

and yours.

Like that bag

you got under there.

And what I'm guessing

you got inside it.

Motherf***er.

[panting]

[screams]

Sh*t.

[panting]

Whoa!

[gunshots]

[gasps]

[groans]

[gunshot]

[groans]

[light bulb buzzes]

That mastiff

I was talking about...

I took him in.

Dogs been a hobby of mine

ever since.

I find them fascinating.

As many ways

as we are different,

just as many

we are the same.

But here's this thing

I noticed.

An old dog been doing

something a while,

it becomes

almost automatic.

Like when you are making

the same drive home every day

for 20 years,

and the car just drives you.

Let me put it simply.

You know how it goes

teaching an old dog new tricks.

What they don't tell you

is why it never sticks.

You see, an animal been acting

a certain way for a while,

it gets to be

all he knows.

And even if that behavior

isn't working,

even if they are eating

pieces of the carpet,

or chewing up your shoes

and shitting out the laces

until their guts are so tied up

in knots they are half dead,

you reach a certain point...

Well, it ain't

unheard of for a b*tch

to stop eating shoes,

but I ain't never seen it,

myself.

It's not that

complicated.

A dog that fights

is a fighting dog.

A man that steals is thief.

You want him to stop...

there's only

one thing to do.

[footsteps]

[whimpering]

[whines]

Well, look at you.

[whimpering]

Come here, boy.

[sniffing]

Come here.

Yeah.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Look at you.

Come here, boy.

Come here.

That's it.

That's it. That's it.

[panting]

F*** you.

[growls]

[screaming]

[gunshot]

No!

[gasping and panting]

Don't!

[gunshot]

[growling]

It's okay.

It's okay, now.

It's okay.

[whines]

You're a good boy.

You're a good boy.

Good boy.

You're a good boy.

[children shouting]

[seagulls squawking]

["Every Day Will Be Like a

Holiday" by William Bell plays]

Every day

Will be like a holiday

When my baby

When my baby comes home

Now she's been gone

For such a long time

Ever since she's been gone

She's been on my mind

I got a letter today

Just about noon

She said, "Don't worry

I'll be home soon"

And every day

Will be like a holiday

Oh, I know it will

When my baby

When my baby comes home

I'll never

Have to worry

About sitting

By the phone

When she gets here

I'll never be alone

She said she'd get here

Sometime today

I know when she gets here

She'll never go away

And every day

Oh, yeah

Will be like a holiday

Oh, yes, it will

When my baby

When my baby comes home

Oh, every day

Will be like a holiday

Oh, yes, it will

When my baby...

[choral singing]

[dog panting heavily]

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