Bunyan and Babe Page #4

He was real.

Davy Crockett?

Who said anything

about Davy Crockett?

I don't care about

Davy Crockett.

I'm talking about those two guys

in grandpa's barn right now.

Whit, listen.

You can help us.

What am I supposed to do for

a giant and its talking ox?

Talking blue ox.

Blue ox.

Babe's hurt, and,

well, you're really

good at that kind of stuff.

You may be under the impression

that knowing first aid

makes me a medical doctor,

but actually it does not.

Yeah, but you're smart.

True.

Could you just

look at him, please?

Where, exactly, are you

thinking about putting that?

Please, just try to hold still.

No offense, little

miss, but I think

that we need to

travel into the city

where there are sophisticated

doctors who could handle

a special case such as myself.

You're not traveling

anywhere, babe.

Well, then I guess

I'll just die.

All you've got is

a mild back sprain.

There's no need to be

melodramatic about it.

With a little rest and some

ice, you'll be good as new.

Did you tell your grandparents

about those men who chased you?

Grandpa's a little bit deaf.

And tomorrow's the big

day at the county fair,

so they have to be

up really early.

What do you mean

you were chased?

What men are you talking about?

That's it?

You had all afternoon.

That's all you could get?

You're no better than Iris.

These things take time, Norman.

Plus, we ran into

a little trouble.

What are you talking about?

One of the local

hillbilly children

saw me at the general store.

Gustav chased him,

but he escaped.

That's not "trouble".

"Trouble" is not getting all

the deeds signed over to me.

"Trouble" is the biggest deal

of my lifetime falling apart.

"Trouble" is not some brat

seeing your hocus pocus.

Why do you even want that

pitiful farm land anyway?

You don't even like the country.

I don't need to like it.

I just need to own it.

It's part of the bigger

picture, where I'm filthy rich.

You're already rich.

And you're certainly filthy.

I'm afraid you're going to

have to show me this bigger

picture, Norman, if I'm going to

come up with a way to help you.

Well?

Fine!

Over here, Bob.

Stop calling me that.

This is the bigger picture--

the biggest picture the world

has ever seen!

A mall?

Yes.

It looks like a factory.

Exactly.

Exactly!

It's a mall and a factory.

It's the world's first and

only fully automated shopping

experience.

This is bunyanworld.

Named after Paul bunyan, the

most marketable icon this state

has ever produced.

Imagine, Bob, thousands of

cars on an assembly line.

Bunyan.

Bunyanworld.

Bunyanworld.

Bunyanworld.

Bunyanworld.

Bunyanworld.

Bunyanworld.

No more

wishy-washy nincompoops

who can't decide what to buy.

I decide for them.

Ha ha!

All the machines

will be computerized.

No more whiney employees.

Every ounce of

profit will be mine.

If they can't pay,

I'll give them credit.

Delicious, irresistable,

easy credit.

They'll all be indebted to me.

I'll own them.

Ha ha!

Well?

As much as it

shocks me to say so,

Norman, it appears we

aren't so different.

What you want to do is put

people in a trance, do you not?

You rely on expensive

gadgetry, of course,

while I employ my

priceless natural talents.

But still, it's hypnosis.

Partners?

Excellent.

Now, how do we speed this

ingenious project along?

That's what this

is all about, Bob.

Delbert county sits in the

middle of all my property.

Look, look.

I can't build my dream

unless I have all the land.

And these people--

these nincompoops--

are standing in my way.

We've got to speed things up.

Is there any way you could

hypnotize all of them at once?

Of course.

It's just a small matter of

gathering the-- what is it

you called them-- the

nincompoops into one place.

You only came back

to walk Travis home?

That's right.

Well, why did you leave

in the first place?

I was a young man

when I found the tree

stump leading to your world.

I like to explore,

and there was so much

going on here, so

much excitement.

Everyone was going west,

building the country.

Babe and I got swept up

in the pioneer spirit.

My size was an

asset-- babe's too.

We could do more than

the average man and ox,

so people admired

and looked up to us.

And felt good to be appreciated

so we stayed around.

Then things changed.

Machines came.

Big automated lumber mills,

chain saws-- trees started

falling faster than ever.

And soon entire forests

were being wiped out

before our eyes.

I started planting two trees

to replace every one that fell.

That's how I was raised.

But lots of folks

didn't like that idea.

They thought I was standing

in the way in progress.

They seemed different.

They seemed greedy.

Then it wasn't about

the adventure anymore.

And soon I found my

heart just wasn't in it.

I decided to take

my axe and go home.

The sad thing is that i

don't think people even

noticed we were gone.

That's not true.

Don't forget all of the statues.

I'm telling you they're

everywhere from Maine

to Minnesota.

And we learned

about you in school.

Really?

What did you learn

about us in school?

We learned that you

ate a lot of pancakes,

and created the great

lakes, and the Grand Canyon.

What?

That's ridiculous.

Don't lie, now.

You always have liked

the pancakes, pb.

No, I mean the other stuff.

How can they teach

you that in school?

That's nonsense.

Well, obviously, great

lakes in the Grand Canyon

were created millions of

years ago through erosion

and the shifting

of tectonic plates.

I've know that

since kindergarten.

But there are all these

stories called tall tales,

and you're definitely

the tallest.

I'm

a tall tale, huh?

How am I going to do it?

How am I ever going

to get everyone

assembled in one place?

Think, norm, think.

In local news,

developer norm blandsford

is causing quite a stir.

They're talking about me.

Turn it up.

With his attempts

buy all the property

in delbert county for an

as yet undisclosed reason,

blandsford has

aroused suspicions,

and, in one case, a protest.

What?

They're giving airtime

to that crazy blue hair?

You've got to be kidding me.

Can you believe this?

Norm blandsford won't

tell anyone what he intends

to build on all this land.

Why is that?

And I don't trust him one bit.

We're going to have

to move quickly.

In other

news, the prizes

for the largest produce

and finest livestock

will be awarded tomorrow-- the

final day of the delbert county

fair.

These nincompoops

and their stupid fair

make me want to puke.

Goodnight Travis, Whitney.

Thanks for your hospitality.

Sure, no problem.

See you in the morning.

Wha-- what is that?

What are you talking about?

You can't hear that?

It's making my teeth vibrate.

Whoa!

Whoah-ho!

Babe?

What's gotten into you?

Whoah!

What was that about?

It was just an airplane.

An air plane?

You mean people

can fly now, too?

Actually, a lot of lights you

see in the sky aren't stars.

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