Burglar Page #6

really wanted anyway.

TV:
follow the leaders

to Sutton.

TV:
Anthony!

Anthony!

Anthony marquinetti lives

in Boston

in the Italian north end.

The home of the prince

spaghetti company...

Good god, I didn't leave

the television on

for 3 days, did I?

Aah! you!

Hi, doc.

What are you

doing here?

Frankly,

I didn't know

where else to go.

Where's my jewelry?

I don't know.

Maybe you got it.

Call the police, Carson.

No, Carson, don't.

Why shouldn't I?

Because I'm at the end

of my rope.

That's why.

What is it you want?

I'd like you to tell me

everything you know

about Christopher,

starting with junior high.

Oh, please.

Fine. I'll tell you

everything I know.

You killed him. What

else is there to know?

Christopher was in

the counterfeiting business.

What?

Look, it's been

a tough day.

Tell me about it.

First I thought

this artist killed him,

but then the artist

turned up dead.

And then I thought

this bartender killed him,

and then this bartender

turned up dead.

I swear, every time

i think I figured out

who killed this guy,

they end up dead.

And I am running

out of suspects.

I see.

Um, excuse me.

Could I just interject

a quick question here?

Sure.

Who gives a sh*t?

I just want a hot bath.

So now, doc,

I'm back to you.

Have you seen

my briefcase lately?

What the hell

are you talking--

what the hell is she--

would you do something

about this, Carson?

Now, look, miss.

[Click]

See, Christopher was robbed.

Whoever robbed him

took my briefcase

thinking that the counterfeit

money was in there,

but it wasn't 'cause

the bartender had that.

Jesus, I can't

follow any of this.

You can't?

You didn't seem to have

any trouble following my ass

to Christopher's house

the night I burglarized it.

There, you see,

she was there.

Yes. but then

so were you.

What?

Come on, that was you

in that room,

screwing that man's pants off

while I hid in the closet.

I beg your pardon!

You wear more perfume

than any dentist

I've ever known.

The room reeked of it.

Joy, isn't it?

You slept

with Christopher?

Bernice:

slept with him?

Honey, the b*tch

knocked holes in the wall.

Ok! so I did.

So what?

Big deal. There's

a distinct difference

between killing people

and f***ing them.

TV:
this is

a grade "a" chicken...

Turn this

damn thing off!

TV:
this chicken is skinny.

Look...

What are you doing?

Get away from me.

Where is the jewelry?

Ha ha ha.

Leave me alone.

Did you have someone

kill him for you?

No. Carson,

would you please--

I heard a man's voice,

but you could fake that.

Absolutely not.

Carson!

TV:
raid!

And now,

ladies and gentlemen,

here's Johnny!

Carson!

[Tonight show theme music

plays]

[Turns TV off]

I didn't do anything.

All I wanted was

a little roll in the hay

for old times' sake...

But...you shouldn't

have to go

to the electric chair

for that.

It's not fair.

I think you've said

enough, don't you?

It's not fair.

Yeah. I think I have.

Oh.

I'll get a lawyer.

I already have a lawyer.

Verrill:
I don't know

who's responsible

for drawing it up

but I don't like it.

We'll never

win the case

with work like that.

Excuse me a second.

Mayor feinstein?

Mm-hmm.

I wonder what she wants.

Hello?

I know it was you,

a**hole,

and I can prove it.

Who is this?

Guess.

Look, I'm in a very

important meeting.

I got a very important

meeting with the cops.

About what?

You and Christopher.

What about me and--

what about us?

Oh, I know everything.

I've even got a witness,

a good friend of Christopher's.

Oop. got to go,

counselor.

Uh, no, wait, uh...

Look...look,

i have no idea

what this conversation

is about,

but, uh...What is it

that you want?

It's very easy.

I want my bag back

with everything in it.

And then what?

I don't know.

Take a boat, maybe a plane,

go visit Argentina.

I'll be out of here

by dark.

Where would you like

to meet me?

Stern grove, 2:
00,

by the stage. Be there.

Gotcha.

Nice weather

we're having, counselor.

Where's the gun?

Where's my jewels?

Dr. sheldrake's jewels.

I don't think so,

not after all this sh*t.

First, the gun.

Throw it.

Throw it? You know

how much these things cost?

Throw it as far

as you can.

Sh*t.

Where's my stuff?

In the trunk of my car.

Get it.

First you tell me

what you know.

I know everything.

I know you killed

Christopher,

and I know you killed

the artist

'cause he knew

you were involved.

I did, huh?

Yes, counselor verrill.

Let me ask you

something.

Do you think

that I would--

a very

successful lawyer

with a thriving

law firm--

would go around

killing people

for counterfeit money?

No, I think that

was an afterthought.

I think you killed

Christopher

because you were

in love with him.

I didn't figure that one out

until last night.

See, I thought you were

pissed at the doctor,

but you were pissed

at Christopher, weren't you?

I have a wife

and 3 children.

All the worse for them.

I never even knew

Christopher Marshall.

Really? Frankie!

Who's this?

That's Frankie.

You know Frankie.

She knows you.

Here's Johnny.

I don't know you.

Sure, you do.

You're

Christopher's friend.

I've seen you together

a couple of times.

That's

a goddamn lie.

He told me all about you.

I slept with him, too,

every now and then.

This is preposterous.

This is all lies.

What did he tell you?

You know, the whole plan

about how you sort of

figured it all out for him.

He said, "that goddamn verrill,

boy, is he smart.

"Verrill thinks

we should do this

verrill thinks

we should that--"

that's enough.

But I don't think

he completely trusted you,

or else he wouldn't have

recorded your pillow talk.

Look, nobody has to know

about any of this.

I'll go to my car.

Thank you.

Carson, you want to tell me

what happened to the money

the mafia gave knobby?

Um, well, it's at my home.

Great. we can pick it up on

the way to the airport.

All right.

Hey, mister, why did you

have to kill him?

Why?

Because...

Because...

Because...because he didn't

give a sh*t about anybody!

Oh, my god.

Explain this, b*tch.

Ray!

I didn't know.

I'm sorry, Frankie.

It doesn't hurt.

Doesn't hurt much

at all.

Well, Jesus,

i guess not.

[Dogs barking]

Banzai!

[Dogs barking]

Carl, which way

did he go?

That-a-way.

Uh!

You f***ing b*tch,

I'll kill you

with my bare hands!

Why? are you out

of ice picks?

Ah!

Damn you!

Oh!

Bernie! Bernie!

No, this way!

Over here!

Bernie! Bernie!

Bernie!

Bernie!

Bernie!

So, Mr. i-can-dump-you-in-the-

pool-anytime-i-feel-like-it,

where the hell do you

think you're going now?

Come here.

Yeah. come here.

Boy, I'm pissed at you.

Come on.

Now your ass

is grass.

Uh! god!

Bernie!

Bernie!

Bernie!

Bernie:
Carl. Carl,

quit yelling. Over here.

You ruined my life,

my 'do,

and my

manilow tapes.

Bernie!

Yeah, I'm here,

I'm here.

Bernie, you're ok!

Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Carl, Carl, calm down.

Breathe. breathe.

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