Buried Alive Page #5

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That sounds like a curse.

OK, let me get this straight.

So Great-Gramps, say, whacks

his first wife over the head with a shovel.

Can't kill her, though, because

she's protected by her "magical" necklace.

So he buries her alive, with gold,

probably in this house somewhere.

But he takes the necklace from her first.

Gives it to the second wife and the first wife

comes back 16 years later for revenge?

- And to get her necklace back.

- Why would she wait so long?

In certain tribes, a boy

becomes a man on his twelfth birthday.

Maybe she was waiting

till all the boys were men.

- Why is she back?

- One boy got away.

- His blood has returned.

- Are you buying this, Rene?

I always thought that you believed

there was gold buried here.

An eccentric old prospector,

it's one thing.

A crazy woman

coming back from the dead,

killing off all connected by blood

to her murderer -

oh, and retrieving her stolen

"mystical" necklace -

that's something else altogether.

- So you don't believe it?

- Absolutely not!

If you want to enjoy the rest of your

weekend - and your life, for that matter -

you won't either.

Ohh, this is creepy!

Right. Back to reality and why we're here.

Laura, Julie,

I want you out on the back porch now.

Hey, stick around.

You might like this one.

- I like it already, whatever it is.

- But first, why don't you go get Phil?

Screw that dweeb. If he's stupid enough

to stay out in the cold, leave him.

Zane, don't wander off.

You might miss all the fun.

- What's up?

- The Godiva Run.

I always like that sorority tradition.

What are you making 'em do?

- Jog to Lester's, bring something back.

- Mm-hm-hm.

Naked, creepy and dangerous.

What every good initiation should be.

- Let's go.

- All right.

OK, ladies, you have a task,

a very simple one.

Jog to Lester's and bring something back

proving you were there.

- That's it?

- What's the catch?

- No catch.

- Oh. Well, that sounds easy enough.

- Too easy.

- That's it.

Oh, did I mention

you can only wear one item of clothing?

- No.

- You missed that.

Silly me. Yes, you may only wear one item

of basic clothing on your run. Choose.

My jacket.

Sorry, Jules. That falls under

the category of overclothes.

- Choose now or you get nothing.

- Jeans.

- Boots.

- OK. Laura first.

Stay on the road, watch out for coyotes

and wave to Phil on your way by. Go on.

Whoo! Speed it up a little bit!

You alive in there, Phil?

I think we gonna go ahead inside.

- Got that right.

- Yeah.

- Rene.

- I'll wait out here.

I'm with you guys.

I see a wabbit!

Made it back all in one piece. Good.

And with a stuffed bunny.

Excellent work. How do you feel?

- Cold.

- No shock there.

Get in by the fire and send Julie out.

Ho-ho, here she is!

- You did very good.

- Your turn.

- Are you ready to perform for Omega Tau?

- I guess so.

- Want to reconsider your clothing choice?

- No, let's just do it.

OK. Remember to bring something back.

Whenever you're ready.

- Oh, and, uh, watch out for scorpions.

Come on.

Speed it up a little bit!

Julie, you're killing me. Come on!

Dumb sorority.

You keep your eyes closed in there, Phil.

Bullshit sorority.

Who even gives a sh*t?

F***! God, it's cold out here.

Sh*t.

Ow, sh*t!

Oh, f***.

Sh*t.

F***!

Sh*t.

- Oh, Zane?

- What happened?

Oh, I twisted my ankle on a rock.

- Can you stand on it?

- F***, it really hurts.

- Put this on.

- Oh, f***.

- We'll get you fixed up.

- Thank you.

- Come on.

- Oh!

What happened?

This terrain is too rough for bare feet.

I'm sure you're aware of that, Rene.

I sprained my ankle.

I'm so sorry about that.

What did you bring back?

- I didn't reach Lester's.

- I see.

- Come on, cut her some slack.

- We'll discuss it later.

- Help her inside.

- Here, put...

I'd like to congratulate those

seeking membership into Omega Tau.

- Their initiation is almost complete.

- There's more?

- For some.

- I think they deserve some champagne.

- A little bit of bubbly.

To nearing membership into Omega Tau

and to pushing yourself to the limits

of physical endurance.

And with due respect

and immense admiration,

to four of the stiffest nipples

that I have ever seen.

- To Julie and Laura.

- Julie and Laura.

Hey, Rene, did you have to jog naked

when you joined?

Yep. You guys had it easy.

I had to run down campus -

Fraternity Row, three blocks.

- What did you wear?

- A ski mask.

That feels so good.

Zane, why don't you

go check on your friend Phil?

I'm giving some physical therapy here.

Which is sorely needed, thanks to you.

A sprained hoof can't be ignored.

- Oh, that feels so good.

- Mmm.

You know, my ankle feels better,

but my calves are a little sore.

Could you rub a little higher?

I think I can do that.

Oh, God...

Oh, God...

You know,

Phil's probably afraid to come back in

just 'cause Danny's been raggin' on him

the whole trip.

- Everyone has.

- Still.

It might be nice if you asked him

to come back inside.

Danny is busy.

And you invited Phil, remember?

Stalemate.

What?

Julie, didn't you ever play chess?

Never mind.

This little piggy went to the market.

And this little piggy went home.

This little piggy got roast beef.

But this little piggy got none.

And this little piggy?

He went "whee-whee-whee-whee-whee"

all the way home.

- What is it?!

- What's wrong?

- There was a face in that window.

- Now you see it too.

- It was horrible.

- There's nothing there now.

- You think it was Phil?

- No, I can see him. He's still in the car.

I don't know, maybe somebody

should go check it out.

Well, I guess that means me.

- Laura...

- I swear.

There's nobody there.

Oh, sh*t!

Zane, come here.

Everybody come in here right now!

Somebody tried

to take my head off with an ax.

- What?

- Out back. I'll show you.

Come on.

I hear a noise, I come out to look,

it comes flying out of the dark.

It stuck in this pillar.

I swear it happened. Look, this is where

the blade stuck in. This is fresh.

- You gotta believe me.

- We believe you. Let's just get back inside.

Let's go. Come on.

Somebody is screwing

with our heads, Zane!

Maybe this curse thing

is more real than we think, like Laura said.

What the f*** is going on?

- Come on, Danny.

- Stay right there.

- F***!

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my...

Some things never get old.

- Hey, you gonna cook me dinner?

- Yeah, right.

You a**hole.

If this was a gun, you'd be dead.

Don't worry about it.

What the hell are you doing here?

Well, I'm running a little low on supplies

so I come up to get me some grub.

- Just a little midnight snack is all.

- F***in' a**hole.

You're nothing but a crazy,

goddamn f***in' pervert!

You don't even want to think about

trash-talking Lester, all right?

Have you been around the house all night?

I have. I had an eye out, you might say.

Did you throw that ax at Danny?

I did. Sure enough.

Hey, I warned ya.

I said, "Don't go outside."

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