Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe

So February 1, 2005, 0800 hours...

...this begins the inquiry into the mission...

...herein referred to as

Operation Provide Support.

Commander Axe, do you have

anything to say before we begin?

Well, sir, it's actually

more of a question than a statement.

Can I have a beer?

You may not have a beer. But you may

stand up and raise your right hand.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but the truth...

- so help you God?

- Yeah.

Sir, am I on trial here?

I got the word about wearing the dress whites,

and now we're doing the whole oath thing--

For now this is not

an official legal proceeding.

Think of it as an informal conversation...

...to sort out exactly what happened here.

We got over a dozen casualties...

...some structures destroyed,

a few vehicles destroyed.

This little disaster is gonna

take some serious sorting out.

That's why I suggested the beer.

I'll ask you not to waste my time,

Commander Axe.

- Now can we begin?

- You're the boss, sir.

Let's start with how you first became

involved in this operation.

Ah--

Uh, that kind of depends.

There's kind of the official beginning

and then the unofficial beginning.

You know what I mean?

Right. Well, uh, okay...

this whole thing began... in bed.

A couple of weeks back, I just started

seeing a lady by the name of Donna.

Mmm.

You're not so tough.

I bet I could beat you.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

Well, first, I make you weak.

- Aw.

- Tire you out.

And then when you least expect it...

I attack.

Pretty good.

You should come by and

teach the teams a few moves.

You should teach my

husband a few moves.

Wait a second.

Your husband? You're married?

Oh, don't be that way. It's fine.

Uh, well, no. Actually, uh, it's not fine.

- I kind of have a thing about that.

- He barely looks at me now.

It's like he's not even my husband anymore.

He's just--

Oh, my God. He's here.

What?

I don't understand.

He should still be in D.C.

That's your husband?

You're married to Admiral Maitland?

Just-Just go, okay?

No, no. Not that way. He'll see you.

No. Bathroom.

Well, it's been great.

As a SEAL,

I've been involved in evasive maneuvers...

...but this... was an unusual

tactical situation.

Hey, Donna!

What's the matter with Buster?

He's going crazy out here.

I don't know. He's been like that all day.

Still, same principles apply

in any hostile encounter...

...when you need to get out clean

without engaging the enemy--

...identify an escape route

and blend seamlessly into the surroundings.

Wait. Wait. And how exactly does this

relate to the mission in question?

I'm getting there, sir.

This is important, I promise.

I just don't wanna hear any more of your

romantic escapades. Is there a point?

Okay, so that night, I headed out.

Now, with this type of problem, some men will

duck and cover. Others will turn to booze.

Me? Let's just say

I have my own secret weapon.

I swear, every time I see you,

you look different.

It comes with the job, Sam.

Hey, nice tan, Mikey. Where you been?

- Someplace sunny.

- Well, it agrees with you.

I remember how pasty you got

when we were stuck back in Poland in '92.

- How long are you in town?

- A few days of debriefing, at least. We'll see.

Not to impose, but you feel like advising

an old buddy with a sticky situation?

How sticky?

Sticky like let's get a table

and a few more rounds.

Sam.

An admiral?

It had to be an admiral's wife?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So look,

what do you think I should do here?

Go to Maitland and explain.

Tell him you didn't know who she was...

...until things had already

gotten out of hand.

- in fact, call him right now.

- Mike, that's not what I'm-

I was more looking for that super-spy

advice on how to keep this quiet.

You remember that thing

in Kiev with Misha...

when he sold out the wetwork team

on their way to Paris?

- Oh, yeah. What about it?

- That's the kind of secret that stays secret...

...because if it comes out,

people get sent to Siberia.

This will come out as soon as Maitland

looks sideways at his wife.

Seriously, Mike, you know,

I know you're a smart guy...

...but you've dated one lady,

and she was a frickin' psycho.

I'm just saying you may not be the expert

on this whole boy-girl thing.

My job is to know what people

are gonna do before they do it...

...which is how I know you're not

gonna take my advice...

...and this is gonna

blow up in your face, Sam.

I don't know.

I mean, how smart can spies be, right?

You're always fighting

on the side with no guns.

There are certain rewards

to fighting on the side with no guns.

Tell you what. One day, you're gonna

give me some spy lessons. Deal?

Deal.

Mm. I gotta go.

- You're gonna be all right?

- Yeah, I'll be fine.

Thanks for the beer. Oh. And, Sam...

be careful.

So I have

a few more drinks and head home...

...figuring that maybe it's best

not to get relationship advice from a spy.

The thing Is,

It turned out the spy was right.

Commander Axe,

you need to come with us.

Says who?

You were in my house, in bed with my wife.

And don't even try to deny it,

'cause I found your belt.

This look familiar?

I talked to Donna

and she told me everything.

Admiral, I was unaware, sir,

that she was your significant other.

You were unaware? You're a Navy SEAL.

You're trained in battlefield awareness...

...and you didn't see

my name on the mailbox?

Well, sir, I wasn't exactly

in that frame of mind, sir.

As you can imagine,

I was otherwise occupied, sir.

I'll stop talking now, sir.

So I checked my docket

for an assignment...

that would get you out of my sight

for the foreseeable future...

and I think I found just the thing.

Not Siberia. Please, not Siberia.

You're going to Colombia.

Tonight.

Sir, with all due respect,

I need to pack, sir, and, well, uh--

- Are you refusing orders?

- No, sir. Of course not.

It's just that I-

Well, it's been a while, sir, and-

For a mission in South America,

I should really brush up on my Spanish.

Well, you got a 12-hour plane ride, so...

...brush up, amigo.

Amigo. That's "friend," right, sir?

Get the hell out of my office!

So, like a good soldier,

the next morning I was up bright and early...

...enjoying a first-class

plane ride down to Colombia.

# I said I mean what I said

I said baby #

# You try to protect me

Oh #

- Hey!

- # And I know that you won't dare to forget me ##

- What the hell are you wearing, brother?

- I got issued these.

You do know

most of Colombia's green, right?

I don't think the guy who issued them

wanted me to blend in.

Can you turn that crap off?

I was supposed to be taking some Green

Beret named Donohue down on this mission.

Heard he got drunk and set a tank on fire.

- Guess you screwed up even worse, huh?

- Yeah, it would seem so.

What did you do?

Must've been something crazy, man.

- I don't wanna get into it, okay?

- Suit yourself.

- Good luck, big guy.

- Yeah, thanks.

I read over the mission.

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