Burning Palms Page #5

Okay?

Hey, hon.

Oh, hi.

Hi. How was

your day?

Fine, thanks.

Where's Mahogany?

I don't know

what's wrong with her.

She's cracked

out of her mind.

That's what's

wrong with her.

You gave our

daughter crystal meth.

How in the hell did she get

her hands on narcotics?

Tell me.

I don't know.

You tell me.

I had a little

in my car, okay?

Big f***ing deal.

You've done it before, too.

I didn't give it to

a 7-year-old child.

At the park?

Where did you go?

The park.

I don't buy it.

Well, I ain't

sellin' anything.

Let me smell it.

F*** Off.

You are not

smelling my cock.

Let me smell it, Ger.

Let me smell it!

F*ggot.

Did she just say what

I think she said?

F*ggot. F*ggot.

F*ggot. F*ggot.

Okay. You should have

everything you need here-

bottles of water

first-aid kit

crackers.

Oh, and PowerBars

which should last

you quite a while.

So... be careful.

And stay away from

those mountain lions.

I heard they're nasty.

Okay.

All right.

Liza. Liza.

Come on, Liza.

Liza.

Oh, Liza.

Crow to catfish, crow to catfish.

Do you copy?

Come on, guys. I'm

not playing anymore.

I'm not playing anymore.

You caught me.

The game isn't

over yet, Abdul.

My name isn't Abdul.

it's Jeffrey.

Your name is Abdul.

You Te an

al-Qaeda operative

with plans to commit

heinous acts of terrorism.

And you must be killed.

No.

SpongeBob's gonna show

you how he guts a fish.

I can't do it.

Look over there.

See what happens

when you run?

Oh, stop crying,

you big baby.

What should we

do with him?

The old tree.

Jeffrey!

Jeffrey, your

mother is here!

What a coward.

Oh, there's Mommy.

What happened?

They tried

hanging me from a tree.

Aw, they were just playing

hide and go seek.

Hide and go seek?

Yeah.

Look at him.

He's shaking.

Aw.

Where are

their parents?

Oh, they're

out of town.

- Again?

- Yeah.

I want the number

for their hotel.

This is ridiculous.

I'm so sorry.

I don't- I don't think

I have their number.

What kind of parents

don't leave a number

where they can

be reached?

Well, tell them they can expect

a call from my attorney.

Uh, okay.

All right.

Well, thanks so

much for coming.

Bye.

I love your jeans.

Did his mom get mad?

Of course.

She f***ing freaked.

She's going to call

her lawyers. Enjoy that.

Big deal.

Oh, check it out.

I'm going to be having

some company here tonight.

So I'm going to need

you guys to f*** off

like good little Children.

Okay? Dig?

Right.

All right.

Did you wanna kill this?

All right I'll f***ing kill it.

Louisa.

Hm?

What is she doing?

Praying to her

dead baby.

What's in her hand?

The umbilical cord.

Why does she

keep it?

I don't know.

I guess it is all

that she has left.

I think it's gross.

Me 100.

Jezebel, shut

the f*** up!

I f***ing

hate that bird.

Why aren't you

dressed for school?

We don't have

school today.

What?

It's Martin

Luther King Day.

Oh. Hey, that was,

like, a month ago.

Part Two.

Fine. Don't

go to school.

Grow up stupid. See

if I f***ing care.

I don't speak

your language, maid.

Stop laughing.

I said stop laughing,

you f***ing b*tch!

What?

I just realized that you've

been going to see Dr. Shelley

for like a year-

and I don't

know why.

Why do people

climb Everest?

To prove

something useless

to no one in

particular, obviously.

Wrong. Because

it's there.

Oh, my Gad. I've never

heard that one.

Be cynical, if that gets you

through the day, Mary Jane.

Ugh, you're

so annoying.

Nicholas.

When they leave, how

does that make you feel?

How come you never have me

lay down on the chair?

I've told you before,

I only use the chair

when I'm engaging clients

in free association.

Have you ever had sex

on the chair?

When they leave, how

does that make you feel?

I bet you want to

have sex on the chain

Nicholas.

Your accent is fake,

isn't it?

Don't you realize I can see

through this whole show?

You're wasting

our time together.

You may as well not

even come here at all.

I had a dream

about them.

They were on

a beach somewhere

near the French

Riviera, I think.

They seemed happy.

Then I rose out

of the ocean

like the great kraken

from ancient Greek mythology.

I plucked them

from their beach chairs

and I ripped

their limbs off

like- like they were

little insects.

They were screaming

and begging for mercy

but that only made me angrier.

So I crushed their heads

between my fingers.

And then...

I ate them.

Okay.

Right. Right.

We've quite a bit of work

to do on you, don't we?

What's wrong

with her?

The umbilical

cord is gone.

You mean that nasty thing

she keeps in there?

Who'd want

to take that?

You!

What?

Yes, you.

You take it.

Are you crazy?

You are the devil.

Hey. Hey.

What the f*** is all

the screaming about?

What's wrong with her?

Somebody stole her

baby's umbilical cord.

Who- her what?

She keeps it

in her jewelry box.

She kisses it

when she prays.

Am I tripping

on acid right now

or are we talking about a

stolen f***ing umbilical cord?

She thinks

I took it.

Who cares?

It's unsanitary

keeping sh*t like

that in a house.

Louisa, please tell

her to get over it.

That's what photos are for.

Jesus Christ.

She is crazy. She

should be committed.

But she's not lying. It is gone.

That means somebody in this

house stole it, right?

True.

- Gracias.

- I know.

We put everyone

who could've taken

the umbilical cord

on the stand.

It'll be just

like Court TV.

Only real.

I'll be the judge.

Trevor, you can be

the court reporter.

And Colby, you'll

be the bailiff.

What's a bailiff?

He's the one

with the gun-

Cool.

Colby

you may show the suspects

to the courtroom.

Be seated.

As you all know, a crime

was committed yesterday

theft, to be precise.

The item in question

is one umbilical cord

belonging

to Miss Blanca Juarez

and her deceased son,

Fernando Guadalupe Juarez.

Order!

There will be

no outbursts of emotion

in this courtroom.

Thank you.

Now, all of the possible

suspects are in this room.

And by the end

of this inquisition

we shall hopefully

get to the bottom

of this heinous act.

I shall now call on

our first suspect, Tak.

Though you work

outside the house

it is not fair

to rule you out

as a possible suspect

and it is entirely possible

that you may harbor

secret reasons

for stealing

the umbilical cord.

Perhaps, a scorned love?

He doesn't speak

English, shitbird.

Well, can anyone translate?

Oh, yeah, actually, I can.

Ni-hah, ching,

ching, ching, ching

zing, zing, zing,

Szechuan Palace.

He didn't take it.

Tak, you're excused

from the court.

Miss Alvarez.

Where were you between

the hours of 8:
00 a.m.

and 9:
00 p.m. yesterday?

Here in the house.

And what is

your occupation?

I am the housekeeper.

What does that entail?

Oh, my God, don't be

an a**hole, Nicholas.

Just get to the f***ing point.

We all know what she does.

Fine. Louisa, did you

take the umbilical cord?

No.

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