Cabaret Page #6

Shouldn't that be three?

Help us with our order....

l think your paper and your party

are pure crap, sir!

What did you say?

l said:
That's a lot of crap!

And so are you!

He's a foreigner.

l hear you took on

the entire Nazi party single-handed.

Only two?

Sounds like...cigarette?

Feel up to a little surprise?

Poor thing, you're blind.

''Dear Sally and Bri....''

ln that order, please note.

''l know you will forgive me,

but family affairs make it imperative...

''...for me to leave

for Argentina, immediately.

''lt was fun, wasn't it?''

Signed:
''Maximilian.''

Argentina, my ass.

He also sent this.

Three hundred marks.

For the two of us.

A hundred and fifty each.

Let's see, on an hour-to-hour basis...

...that puts us on a par with Fraulein Kost.

Some gold diggers, aren't we?

Oh, Brian, l'm so sorry.

Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew.

Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew.

Anything the matter?

What is it? What's happened?

Goddammit, l'm gonna have a baby!

Well, aren't you gonna ask?

All right.

-Whose is it?

-l don't know.

l really don't know.

-What are you going to do?

-Obviously, l can't have it.

The doctor l went to said he'll do it.

But it's expensive. He has to...

...bribe somebody or other

for some kind of...

...a certificate or something.

Oh, l don't know.

Well...

...there goes my fur coat.

l would like to marry you.

-Okay, a touch of toothpaste.

-Naturally.

A lot of gin.

All whooshed up together.

With this spiked prairie oyster,

l thee wed.

To the future.

With any luck,

l'll get a fellowship at King's.

Oh, dear, what's that?

My college at Cambridge.

-You'll absolutely love it there.

-l know l will.

-lt's crazy.

-Who?

Me. Wanting to be an actress.

l guess babies love you automatically,

don't they?

They don't have much of a choice.

-To you and the baby.

-To me and the baby.

Probably is yours.

But l don't suppose

we'll ever know for sure.

So what?

You sure you don't mind?

Honestly?

Honestly.

Oh, Bri....

-To me and the baby.

-To you and the baby.

To you. You.

Me? To me.

And the baby.

-Oh, where are you going?

-l'll be right back.

You are a most strange

and extraordinary person.

l know, l know.

The proud father.

Good lord, Fritz.

You're on time. l can't believe it.

How's Natalia?

Please, l do not speak of Natalia.

As bad as that?

Bad.

Perhaps l cut myself at the throat.

Prepositions, Fritz, prepositions.

''ln the throat?''

No, just ''cut my throat.''

lf all the Jews are bankers,

then how can they be Communists, too?

Subtle...

...very subtle, Fraulein Kost.

lf they can't destroy us one way...

...they try the other.

You don't really believe that, do you?

But you read it every day

in the Volkischer Beobachter.

That ridiculous Nazi tripe!

lt is an established fact, Herr Roberts...

...that there exists a well-organized

international conspiracy...

...of Jewish bankers and Communists.

lt's also an established fact,

that there exists...

...another well-organized group,

of which you're obviously a member.

The lnternational Conspiracy

of Horses' Asses.

l wish the Kaiser was back.

ln those days we had order.

l expect Schneider will raise my rent

after that little exhibition.

Oh, well, what the hell.

Let's get on with these prepositions.

What a black day l'm meeting that girl!

l...l thought you loved her.

Love, love,

who's needing verdammtes love?

You want to hear the big joke on me?

You want to hear it?

l am a Jew.

So?

To be a Jew in Germany?

Only a fool is this, l think.

So...

...l come to Berlin and l'm not a Jew.

How did you manage that?

Where it says on my papers ''religion''...

...l am writing...''Protestant.''

So, the work comes.

The friends come.

The parties come.

Parties.

Whoever dreams

that l shall fall in love with a Jewish girl?

But surely that solves your problem.

-All you've got to do is tell her--

-Do you understand nothing?

This girl!

Do you know what she has done to me?

lt's terrible!

She has turned me into an honest man.

''Oh, you're good,'' she says.

''A man of integrity,

who will never lie to me.''

What does she do if l tell her now?

l tell you what she does,

if l tell her now.

She kicks me out into the streets.

Don't be silly! She'd understand.

Anyway, what have you got to lose?

What do l lose?

She kicks me out into the streets.

All my friends hear l'm a Jew,

they kick me out into the streets.

And then, l think, comes a big Nazi

with a club and bangs me on the head.

Fritz, l really think

you're underestimating Natalia.

What am l doing?

l don't like whiskey.

Look, just tell her.

No, l can't, l can't.

What a coward am l.

''l know what you're thinking.

''You wonder why l chose her

''Out of all the ladies in the world.

''lt's just a first impression.

''What good's a first impression?

''lf you knew her like l do

''lt would change your point of view.

''lf you could see her through my eyes

''You wouldn't wonder at all.

''lf you could see her through my eyes

''l guarantee you would fall like l did.

''When we're in public together

''l hear society moan

''But if they could see her through my eyes

''Maybe they'd leave us alone.

''How can l speak of her virtues

''l don't know where to begin.

''She's clever,

She's smart

''She reads music.

''She doesn't smoke or drink gin like l do

''Yet when we're walking together

''They sneer if l'm holding her hand

''But if they could see her through my eyes

''Maybe they'd all understand.

''Why don't they leave us alone?''

Meine Damen und Herren,

mesdames et messieurs...

...ladies und gentlemen...

...l ask you...

...is it a crime to fall in love?

Can one ever choose

where the heart leads us?

All we ask is that you understand.

A little understanding.

Why can't the world live and let live?

Live und let live.

''Oh, l understand your objection

''l grant you the problem's not small

''But if you could see her

''Through my eyes

''She wouldn't look Jewish at all.''

l'm a Jew.

Brian, anything wrong?

Lazy that's all.

That's all?

That's all.

Look what l found.

See?

We must be lucky.

Will you still love me

when l'm blown up like a balloon?

Will my body drive you

wild with desire?

Sure. Why not?

Oh, Bri, it's fantastic, isn't it?

Just think:

Your life and my life...

...solved in one fell swoop.

And all by the baby!

l guess it's just about the most significant

baby the world has ever known...

...since Jesus.

lt'll be a most strange

and extraordinary baby, won't it?

Good morning, darling.

Darling, would you mind seeing

if there's a bit of brandy left?

Put an egg in it,

and we'll call it breakfast.

l suppose you wonder

what on earth happened to me?

l'm afraid we made a night of it.

Where's your fur coat?

You did it, didn't you?

Did what, darling?

The abortion.

ln God's name...

...why?

One of my whims?

ls that all you can say?

''One of my whims?''

What right...?

lf you wanna hit me,

why don't you just hit me?

But you wanted it.

Didn't you?

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