Cabin Fever Page #3

The guy was going to die|anyway.

Better?

Yeah.

Thanks, Paul.

Jeff:
Hello?

God damn it!

God damn it!|God damn it!

God damn it!

Hold it! You there!

Do you see this?!|Do you see this sh*t?!

We didn't see anything.

Tell Murray I can't eat this sh*t.|Some animal's been running around

infecting everything.

What am I supposed to do|with a sick hog? Huh?

I am not about to|eat that meat. Would you?

- No, I'm a vegetarian.|- None of this sh*t is good.

It's all sick.|It's all gotta go back.

I want me a new hog!

We were just looking|for a mechanic.

Mechanic?|You won't find one around here.

- You'll have to go to town.|- Bert: That's the thing.

Our car's busted,|so we can't get into town.

We need somebody to take|us into town

- so we can find a mechanic.|- Oh.

I've already been|in town today, sorry.

All right, if you do go back,|would you tell us?

We're staying at a cabin,|and...

we don't know Murray.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yes, of course,|of course.

Why didn't you|just come out and say that?

Come on inside,|I've got a radio.

We'll call Ricky.|He's got a tow truck.

- Call Ricky.|- Ricky.

Sorry to bother you, but this|crazy guy came out of the woods

and tried to trash|our car.

Woman:
Sounds terrible.|I have some juice.

So this person damaged|your car?

It was just this crazy hermit.|Real dangerous.

- We chased him away with bats.|- It wasn't Henry, was it?

Nah, sh*t, never.

Henry?

My cousin Henry.|He knows about that ordinance.

He wouldn't do something like that.|You hit him with a bat?

Both:
No.

No, it wasn't Henry.

Our friend Walter, he got drunk.|One thing led to another...

- That's no good.|- Yeah.

I've got a great idea. Why don't|we take a walk down ourselves?

- It's really nice out.|- We'll just walk.

- I haven't seen the scenery.|- You sure? Ricky's awfully handy.

- Thanks for your help.|- Are you sure?

A little fresh air|sounds great.

We really appreciate your help.|Take care.

We burned Henry.

F***!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is anyone home?

Hello?

- Ah!

- Bert, you dick-nose.|- Shut up.

What the hell?

- Did you find anybody?|- No, nothing.

I followed the path|that the old guy ran,

but I couldn't find him.|He could still be alive.

No, it's impossible.

- Want any beef jerky?|- No, put it away.

- Why?|- It's not our house.

So?

- Did you find a phone?|- No.

I felt weird looking around.|There's nobody here.

We found this other place,|but...

there was|nobody there either.

I wonder if the cops|know about it yet.

I doubt it.|If they did know,

they'd have been|at the cabin by now.

Good morning.|Deputy Winston,

Bunyan County|Sheriff's Department.

Hi.|What can I do for you?

I'm on patrol|in my jurisdiction

and I heard there was a lot|of commotion here last night.

I wanted to know|what the story is.

Yeah, sure. Some guy tried|to break into our cabin.

And he was sick.

I don't know what kind|of disease he had,

but he was a mess.

I have to report this.

Yeah, totally.

My friends are out looking for|a neighbor so we could call you.

We don't have a phone here.

Everyone uses radios.|That's what I use.

Hey...

Looks like you guys were doing|some pretty good partying, huh?

Yeah, you know,|we were drinking...

and then this guy came along

and tried to break into|the cabin.

We had no choice|but to get rough.

I feel awful,|but he was going crazy.

He smashed into our car,

and then he wouldn't come out,|so...

we had to hit him.

We hurt him.

We were terrified.|We didn't know what to do.

That's why we went|to look for help-

Hey, man, I told you...|I'm gonna make a report.

Don't worry about it.|He ain't gonna come back.

Looks like you guys|scared him away pretty good.

I ain't gonna let him|ruin your fun.

Thank you.

My friend's inside right now|and she's pretty freaked out.

She wants to go home.

We all kind of do.

A lady friend, huh?

I bet you like to party...

with the ladies.

Karen:
Paul?

Is everything okay?

Howdy, ma'am.|Everything's fine.

Just go back inside,|have yourself a big 40,

just party.

Umm...

okay.

Oh, Daddy, why are you|talking about leaving?

You've got to stay and party.

That's why we came here|in the first place.

I'm telling you,|this is a major party town.

- Really?|- Are you kidding me?

You know what it's like|when you go

to a new town|and you're the new guy?

All the girls see you|walking down the street...

they don't know you've got|five pounds of dangling meat.

They're looking for|no commitment.

- You understand what I'm saying?|- I've heard that theory before.

This is that town.

It's like when I go party|up at Wambusau.

My cousin goes to school there.

When I party at Wambusau,|I know I'm gonna get p*ssy.

Plus the girls there don't know|I'm a deputy.

So I know they're gonna|party hard with me.

Believe me, man,|they do.

That's too bad, I bet you ruled|this town before you had a badge.

Yeah, but a badge|makes you grow up quick.

Sh*t, this guy went and did|a number on your ride.

I'm gonna put out an APB.|We're gonna catch this guy.

Yeah, it wasn't totally him.

We hit it too.

But we were trying|to scare him away.

Could you get somebody|up here to fix it?

What do I look like?|An idiot?

I'll have someone up here|by tomorrow afternoon.

You're top priority.|You're the party man.

Do you realize how many|great parties we're gonna have?

Fortune's shining on you.

I know where all|the big parties are at.

Remember, my name is Winston.

You know how to|get a hold of me, right?

- 9-1-1?|- That's it, my man.

- Take it easy.|- Yeah.

Did he say he was gonna|report this sh*t or not?

I think he is.|He didn't make it seem like

we did anything wrong. He said|he'd get a tow truck up here.

- Sounds weird to me.|- The guy was weird.

Once he saw Karen,|he didn't want to leave.

Has Karen left her room yet?

No, she's still sleeping.|I don't know what's up with her.

She wants to get out of here|as soon as she can.

- Puts a kink in your plan, huh?|- What plan?

What plan?

The plan you've been trying|to execute

since eighth grade.

No, there's no plan.|Not anymore.

Whatever.|You guys are funny.

F***ing...

she likes you because you're nice|to her and she's nice to you

because she can control you.

- F***ing, you're nice to her...|- Bert, don't move.

Bert:
F***.

- It's that freak's dog.

- Should I hit it?|- I don't know.

If you're gonna hit it,|hit it hard.

So where's Grim?

He's out there rotting.|There's some sick sh*t

in the woods and the hermit's|spreading it around.

I'm not waiting for|that deputy to come back.

- Let's get out of here now.|- Should we say something

on our way out, like, "By the way,|we burned some guy alive"?

- Yes.|- No.

- Jeff.|- Fine, we'll tell the cops.

We have to.|They're gonna figure it out.

The deputy knows something happened.|We're the only outsiders.

They're gonna trace it|back to us.

I feel nauseous.

Karen...

How soon can you|get us out of here?

I don't know if|I can fix the car.

I'm thinking I could|make it drivable,

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