Cactus Flower Page #12

I still have

one thing left.

My integrity.

Now, would you mind

letting me in on this?

Igor, why don't

you have dinner

with me tonight?

Okay. I'll put

some clothes on.

Oh, you don't have to

go to all that trouble

just for me.

(TONI GIGGLING)

(JULIAN SNORING)

I thought you quit.

I came to pick up

my cactus.

What are you doing

in the office

on a Saturday?

Last night I had

12 Mexican Missiles,

and this is where

I splashed down.

Is everything all right

between you and Toni?

Oh, yes. Things are

all straightened out.

And, I might add,

without your help

and interference.

I'm so happy for you.

Well, I'm not

very happy for me.

Toni and I have split up.

What?

I went to see her

and I told her

that you wouldn't agree

to a divorce.

(LAUGHING)

Very clever.

What's so funny?

Nothing, except that

I went to Toni and told her

that we weren't married.

Why'd you do that?

I thought I'd fix things.

At least somebody

would get what he wanted.

You just can't stop making

chicken and egg sandwiches.

Why did you have

to go there and lie?

Because it was

the only way I could

get out of marrying her.

Don't you want

to marry her?

No. It's always

been a mistake

and when I caught her

with Igor, I knew it.

But she thinks

Igor is a child.

I know. I saw him come

through the window

with a diaper on.

He made me feel

like an idiot.

I got out as fast as I could.

Now I understand

why you went out

and got drunk.

No, no. You don't understand.

You see, when I left there,

I was angry.

Absolutely furious!

Homicidal!

So you killed

a quart of tequila?

Please, stop interrupting.

I was sore as hell at Toni,

and then suddenly

it was like magic.

My anger disappeared

and I suddenly felt

a delicious sense of relief.

I said to myself,

"Julian, thank God,

at last you're out of it.

"Now you can go home

to your wife."

I bounced down the stairs,

singing to myself,

and I suddenly remembered

I had no wife.

When I got home,

there'd be nobody.

And when I got back

to the office,

you wouldn't be here either.

So then you hung one on.

It's marvelous, Doc,

uh, oh...

That's very nice, Doctor.

Stephanie.

Doctor.

I think

I'm going to kiss you.

When will you know

for sure?

I plan to do this often.

I'll make a note

to remind you.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

You know, it's funny,

I feel as though

you've always been my wife.

We don't even have to

bother getting married.

Well, just as

a matter of form.

(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

Dr. Winston's office.

No, he isn't in on Saturdays.

Can I take a message?

Oh, well,

just a minute. I'll...

It's a young lady.

She's a stewardess

with Australian Airlines.

She says

she's free this evening.

Tell her

I've been grounded.

Sorry, Miss,

but Dr. Winston doesn't do

that sort of work anymore.

(THE TIME FOR LOVE IS ANYTIME

BY SARAH VAUGHAN PLAYING)

The time for love

Is anytime

No matter what the season

Or the year

The day for love

Is any day, there's just

No telling when

it will appear

But when your heart is ready

you will find

That spring is really

just a state of mind

Some flowers blossom late

but they're the kind

That last the longest

Someday someone

will walk into a room

And in no time at all

will be in bloom

And that's

the timeless wonder

Of the time for love

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