California Solo

---

# By the look on

your face I could tell #

# That you had enough

# And the look of guilt

in my eyes #

# Lets you

know that I f***ed up #

# And don't you want anything

too close #

# 'Cause one

day you'll have to let it go #

# Yes, I'll go again

Welcome to another

addition of "Flame-Outs."

The show where

we consider the tragic

and sometimes

spectacular deaths

of the world's

greatest musicians.

I am your host,

Lachlan MacAldonich.

I know you can do it.

But the market is

special, all right.

Okay, it's about talking

to the customers

and Lachlan has a

way with them.

Flattery will get

you everywhere.

You gotta rotate,

a higher rotate.

Back up a little bit.

Good.

How we doing tonight, Sir?

F***-a-duck.

Where were you heading?

Home.

Where are you coming from?

A bar.

Out of the car, please.

Yes.

You're gonna go against

that wall,

against that chart.

Against the wall.

Look at me, please.

I knew that.

Okay, here we go.

To your right, please.

Is that badass, that look?

Come on, let's get

one taken together.

I don't think so.

Well, Mister McAldon...

MacAldonich, Lachlan

MacAldonich.

Is that Irish?

Excuse me, I am from Scotland.

We have your BAC level

written down here

at point-two-four.

That is an aggravated DUI,

which means that your license

is suspended,

effective immediately.

Four months for one DUI.

What a crock.

I tell you, Warren.

You see, back in the UK

they would have

dumped me on the front

step and rang the bell.

Well, maybe when I was a kid.

Yeah, here too.

That's...

that's that's bullshit.

Well, what am I gonna

do about Saturday now?

Sh*t.

Goddamn DUI.

What the hell, man, I...

I thought you

were smarter than that.

Oh, shut up.

You know, in a previous life,

I'd only get to see this side

of Saturday in the arse end.

Bet you had some crazy

nights back in the day, huh?

Yeah...

Ancient history now.

Yeah, I know.

F*** off.

This guy comes home

one day, right?

He says to his wife,

"There's a rumor going

around at work

"that the postman has had sex

with every woman on this street

except one."

And she says, "I bet

it's that stuck-up co-ed

at number fifty-six."

Oh, that's what

I'm trying to figure out.

Ain't that always the way?

How about a radish?

- Radish?

- Yeah.

I know it sounds crazy.

Try a little salt, a

little butter, fantastic.

Yeah, you cook?

I don't cook.

A customer told me.

You all right there, my friend?

I see you've been eyeing

these eggs?

How many would you like?

These eggs are laid with love.

Happy chickens.

Cage free, chemical free,

hormone free.

Matter of fact, the only thing

that ain't free is the cost.

Four dollars for the dozen.

Thank you very much.

All right, Beau?

Hey, Lachlan...

How you doin'?

Good...

What's good today?

Thank you, Sir.

Tomatoes are spectacular.

"Peachy" tomatoes.

- Yeah... Peachy?

- Yeah.

I think you can do

better than that sign.

They'll work with the sea

bass I just picked up.

I have some mushrooms,

lemon, and capers.

Very tasty.

Well, work's been really

slow lately,

so I've had

plenty of time to cook

pathetically elaborate dinners.

That's perfect.

When do I get to try one?

I told you, when I get

an invite to your farm.

You have had

an invite for months.

Oh, by the way, my

boyfriend is here.

He, uh, he usually works

late Friday nights,

so he can't make it,

but I dragged his ass out of

bed this morning.

Hey, Paul...

Come here.

Look, if you do want to come,

it's quite simple really.

If you leave at the

ass-crack of dawn.

Yes, thank you very

much, Julian, thank you.

Back to work.

Thanks.

- How ya doin'?

- Oh, um, Paul this is Lachlan.

Nice to meet you.

You're both musicians.

- Oh yeah, what do you play?

- I'm a DJ.

- A really good one.

- Right.

Some good stuff in

the bins over there.

Yeah, I just found The Beach

Boys "Sunflower" over there.

Classic.

Hell of a lot better than

"Pet Sounds",

if you ask me.

A fellow contrarian, I see.

Absolutely.

Did you get a coffee?

I did not get a coffee

'cause the coffee guy's

too slow

and I couldn't wait any longer.

You ready to go?

Yeah... I'm just gonna get

these and, yeah.

Well, it's nice to see you

this morning, Beau.

Nice to meet you too, Paul.

- I'm gonna go pay for

that record. - Cool.

What's the damage on these?

Oh, just make that a buck.

- No.

- I'm telling you.

Thank you.

There you go.

All right, Robinson Farm,

Road 28.

I'll sleep with one eye open.

Okay.

See ya.

Bye.

All right, my friends,

Some lovely carrots here,

some lovely zucchini.

We've got...

You ready?

Yep.

Drive downtown.

Where to?

Towards the tall buildings.

What for?

I want to stop somewhere

before we go home.

You took the FST.

I'm sorry, I took the what?

Field Sobriety Test.

Yeah, well he had me get

out of the car

and stand on one leg.

If I hadn't been so drunk,

I'd have probably found the

whole thing rather humiliating.

And I probably would've

passed it as well.

There's no such

thing as passing those tests.

No matter what you do,

it's just more evidence

against you.

You should never agree to them.

Well that's good to know, now.

Thanks.

Okay.

If we plead guilty,

I do my courtroom thing,

I can probably get you four

months suspended license

plus a fine in the neighborhood

$4,000. or $5,000.

Wow.

That's the best

you're gonna get.

Oh, one other thing.

What's your immigration status?

Permanent legal resident.

Got a green card,

been here for years.

Good...

No prior arrests?

One.

You have a prior?

Arrest or conviction?

Half an ounce

of marijuana or something.

It was a long, long time ago.

But you're gonna need to

speak to an immigration lawyer.

I have a guy I recommend,

David Piper,

and I'll see if he can see you

first thing Monday morning.

Yeah, but I-I'm a

permanent legal resident.

- I got a green card.

- No, doesn't matter.

You should talk to Piper,

he's the guy.

Uh, oh, one last thing,

and this is important.

Do not drive while

your license is suspended.

We don't want to have a bad

situation get worse.

Okay?

- You all right?

- Yeah.

You mind if I go hang out?

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Enjoy yourself, have fun.

We have a winner!

Jacob Welsh.

There's a bunch of kids

out there stuffing their face

with cherry pies.

Am I the only one that

finds that vaguely disturbing?

I met with your lawyer

friend today.

He seems like a decent guy.

I'll probably have to consult

with an immigration lawyer now.

What the hell's that mean?

You're illegal?

F*** off, Warren.

I'm practically

American these days.

They wouldn't

recognize me back home.

Did you see Melodie

out there today?

No.

She's like flippin'

that baton...

Boom!

Grabbed it out of the air

every single time,

never dropped it once.

But I remember Julian back

in the day, you know,

he's like out there dressed up

like a little cherry tree.

And he's, you know,

he's giving it everything

he's got, you know.

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