California Suite

Synopsis: Four totally different and separate stories of guests staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Maggie Smith and Michael Caine come from England to attend the Oscars; Jane Fonda comes from New York, Alan Alda is her ex who lives in California; in the slapstick part Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor and their wives come to the hotel to relax and play tennis, only to find there is only one room vacant; in the fourth segment Walter Matthau arrives a day before his wife for his nephew's Bar Mitzvah while his brother (Herb Edelman) sends a prostitute to his room.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Herbert Ross
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
  Won 1 Oscar. Another 4 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Rotten Tomatoes:
55%
PG
Year:
1978
103 min
1,857 Views


1

For heaven's sake, Wendy,

look for an airport!

- Will you look for the airport?

- Oh, don't make such a fuss.

Just put it down on a mountain.

What do you mean,

just put it down?

I'm lucky I can keep it up.

I told you, I never flew before.

Don't shout at me.

I'm a first-class passenger.

You're a first-class lunatic!

It's all over, Wendy. Our relationship

has a quarter of a tank to go.

Yes, but you do love me,

don't you, Harold?

I know this is an awkward time

to bring it up,

but I must know for our future.

- Ohh! Aah!

- Harold, darling, do answer me.

Oh! Oh!

You can stop pretending to be

asleep, Sidney. It's over.

I was listening

to Beethoven's ninth.

Somewhere on this plane,

there's a wonderful orchestra.

The cameraman must do

luggage commercials.

All you could see

were the bags under my eyes.

We'll be landing in Los Angeles

in five minutes, miss Barrie.

I suppose we must.

You were terrific!

I loved it!

Oh, thank you.

That's sweet.

What?

Oh. I hope

you win the Oscar!

It's bizarre.

Eight years with

the national theatre,

two Pinter plays, nine

Shakespeare, three Shaw,

and I finally get nominated

for a nauseating little comedy.

That's why

they call it Hollywood.

Oh!

Gorgeous color.

The smog.

I wonder if

they sell it in bottles.

It would make a wonderful present

for the folks back home.

- Thank you.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Barrie.

- The "no smoking" sign's on.

- Oh, sorry.

I thought it was meant

for the people down there.

Oh, Christ.

The royal treatment.

And if I lose, we go home

in a station wagon.

I can get used to this life

very easily, darling.

Promise me you'll

get nominated every year.

We have a magnificent suite

back at the hotel for you.

How nice.

I'll call you in half an hour.

Fine. Thank you.

Well, that's just fine. Unless

you're making a pot of tea,

I think we're in big trouble.

I didn't build the car.

I just drove it.

Did you look at the Gauge

like I told you to?

I looked at the Gauge

more than I looked at the road.

I ran off the road.

I did not run off the Gauge.

But if you looked at the Gauge,

it wouldn't have overheated.

You mean lookin' at the Gauge real

good stops it from overheatin'?

No, but you've got to speak up.

You've got to say, "hey, the

Gauge says we're overheating."

This is not the kind of news

that you keep to yourself.

You know, I hate rent-a-cars.

Why don't we just leave it here?

It's cooling off, see? I told you. All

we needed to do was give it a chance.

All right, close the hood.

Let's go. I'll drive.

Oh, no! Oh, god.

Say he didn't slam the hood.

What's the matter

with the doors?

Didn't the man say

not to slam the hood down?

Didn't the man say

the doors sometimes lock

when you slam the hood down?

Did the man say

I would burn my hand?

It's locked, all right.

Who's got the keys?

The car's got the keys!

Why didn't you take the keys?

I only went

from my seat to the hood.

I thought it would be safe. You

on his side. Stand over there.

What fool closed the windows?

That fool closed the windows.

Even with my eyes on the Gauge,

I saw that fool close

the windows.

The air-conditioning

doesn't work with open windows.

Well, now the car doesn't work

with closed windows,

does it, fool?

Smile, everybody!

We're in Los Angeles!

I'm not paying for this window.

Bettina, you're keeping

the books.

Put the window in his column.

We're drivin', ain't we?

We're not bein' towed, are we?

Deduct the cost of being towed

from my column.

Oh, when are you two gonna stop

bickering and start vacationing?

It's been like this

ever since we left Chicago.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Can we pull off

and find a gas station?

- Ok, honey.

- "Ok, honey"?

What do you mean, "ok, honey"?

This is no time for "ok,

honey." We're on a freeway.

When your wife wanted tacos,

I heard enough "ok, honeys."

Now, how am I

on that side, honey?

You're fine. Hurry up.

He's not fine

if he has to hurry up!

Watch what you're doing.

Now! Now! Go now!

Hold it!

Whiplash!

Now we all got whiplash,

ok, honey?

Good luck tonight, miss Barrie.

- Uh, would you?

- Oh.

Everyone says

you're going to win.

Listen, I'm pleased

just to be nominated.

Can I have your picture?

Oh, just by yourself.

Herb, how are you?

Charlie, what do you say?

Billy boy. How's

the new script coming?

I found all the words

in the dictionary.

I just have to put 'em together.

I mean, we'll never

be able to afford this.

I mean, the prices

out here are ridiculous!

- Yeah, sure.

- Mrs. Hannah Warren, please.

- I asked them.

- Bill Warren.

Yes?

Where are you?

Why don't you come up?

- Come in.

- One double scotch, one tea with lemon.

- Six dollars and ninety-five cents.

- Yes, ma'am.

Would it be possible to just

rent a couple of drinks?

Ma'am?

Uh, would you put that

on the coffee table, please?

Hello?

Oh, yes, put him on.

Bob? Oh, thank god,

a civilized voice.

How are you?

No, awful. I can't wait

to get out of here.

It's like paradise

with a lobotomy.

How's Washington?

Rain. Oh, god.

How wonderful.

No, no, nothing's settled yet.

He's on his way up.

Bob, I don't want to call in a

lawyer until I see how it goes.

When have you known me

to be intimidated?

That doesn't count.

Yes, as a matter of fact,

I remember it in detail.

Bob, can you save

the erotic conversation

until it can do

us both some good?

Yes. Yes, I will. I'll call

you as soon as he leaves.

I do too. Bye.

Looks like another

beautiful day, huh?

For a change.

Hello, Hannah.

You were supposed to knock.

I was going to keep you

waiting in the hall.

You screwed up my big moment.

You still have trouble

saying a simple "hello."

Oh, I am sorry.

You always did get a thrill out

of the little things in life.

Hello, bill.

Hello, Hannah.

How are you?

At this moment,

I'm completely nonplussed.

What the hell have

you done to yourself?

You've turned

into a young boy again.

- It's good to see you.

- I mean it.

You look like the sweetest,

young, 14-year-old boy.

You're not spending

your summers at camp, are you?

Just three weeks in July.

Shouldn't we kiss or

shake hands or something?

Let's save it

for when you leave.

I made a 1:
30 reservation

for lunch. Is that all right?

Just, uh, give me a minute.

When you haven't seen

your ex-husband in nine years,

your eyes have to... adjust.

I love your California clothes.

They're Bloomingdales

of New York.

It's the best place

for California clothes.

My god, you look so...

I don't know. What is the

word I'm looking for?

Happy.

Casual.

You never know out here.

Are you dressed up now,

or is that sporty?

I didn't think a tie

was necessary for a reunion.

Is that what this is?

When you walked in like that,

I thought we were

gonna play tennis.

You certainly look

fit enough for it.

"Fit."

You think I look fit?

You awful sh*t.

I look gorgeous.

Yes, you do, Hannah.

Your tan, of course, is perfect.

Rate this script:1.0 / 1 vote

Neil Simon

Marvin Neil Simon (born July 4, 1927) credited as Neil Simon, is an American playwright, screenwriter and author. He wrote more than 30 plays and nearly the same number of movie screenplays, mostly adaptations of his plays. He has received more combined Oscar and Tony nominations than any other writer.Simon grew up in New York City during the Great Depression, with his parents' financial hardships affecting their marriage, giving him a mostly unhappy and unstable childhood. He often took refuge in movie theaters where he enjoyed watching the early comedians like Charlie Chaplin. After a few years in the Army Air Force Reserve, and after graduating from high school, he began writing comedy scripts for radio and some popular early television shows. Among them were Sid Caesar's Your Show of Shows from 1950 (where he worked alongside other young writers including Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks and Selma Diamond), and The Phil Silvers Show, which ran from 1955 to 1959. He began writing his own plays beginning with Come Blow Your Horn (1961), which took him three years to complete and ran for 678 performances on Broadway. It was followed by two more successful plays, Barefoot in the Park (1963) and The Odd Couple (1965), for which he won a Tony Award. It made him a national celebrity and "the hottest new playwright on Broadway." During the 1960s to 1980s, he wrote both original screenplays and stage plays, with some films actually based on his plays. His style ranged from romantic comedy to farce to more serious dramatic comedy. Overall, he has garnered 17 Tony nominations and won three. During one season, he had four successful plays running on Broadway at the same time, and in 1983 became the only living playwright to have a New York theatre, the Neil Simon Theatre, named in his honor. more…

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    "California Suite" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/california_suite_4949>.

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