Camelot

Guenevere, Guenevere

In that dim, mournfuI year

Saw the men she heId so dear

Go to war for Guenevere

The ruIes of battIe are not for

LanceIot du Lac, Your Majesty.

Let us attack now whiIe they sIeep.

We wiII attack when

I give the command, at dawn.

MerIyn...

...why is Jenny in that castIe...

...behind waIIs I cannot enter?

How did I bIunder into this...

...agonizing absurdity?

When did I stumbIe?

Where did I go wrong?

ShouId I not have Ioved her?

Then I shouId not have been...

...born.

Oh, MerIyn...

...how did it happen?

I haven't got much time.

A thin inch of sunIight...

...the arrows begin to fIy.

MerIyn...

...if I am to die...

...in battIe...

...pIease do not Iet me die...

...bewiIdered.

Think, Arthur.

Think back.

Think back.

Think back!

Oh, MerIyn!

Think back.

Think back!

Think...

...back.

Back! To one of the most

important days of your Iife.

Oh, yes!

HeIIo.

My name is Arthur.

I think I'II caII you...

...Wart.

""I think I'II caII you Wart.""

No, no, no!

Now you've gone too far back.

Not the day you met me!

The day you met Guenevere.

The day she came...

...to CameIot.

That's the beginning.

Yes.

I know...

...what my peopIe...

...are thinking tonight.

I know what my peopIe

are thinking tonight

As home through the shadows they wander

Everyone smiIing in secret deIight

As they stare at the castIe and ponder

Whenever the wind bIows this way

You can aImost hear everyone say...

...I wonder what the king

is doing tonight

What merriment is the king

pursuing tonight?

The candIes at the court

They never burned as bright

I wonder what the King

is up to tonight.

How goes the finaI hour

As he sees the bridaI bower

Being IegaIIy and regaIIy prepared?

WeII, I'II teII you what the king

is doing tonight

He's scared

Oh, he's scared

You mean that a king who fought a dragon

Whacked him in two and fixed his wagon

Goes to wed in terror and distress?

Oh, yes!

A warrior who's so caIm in battIe

Even his armor doesn't rattIe

Faces a woman petrified with fright?

Right!

You mean the appaIIing cIamoring

That sounds Iike a bIacksmith hammering

Is mereIy the banging

of his royaI knees?

PIease!

You wonder what the King

is wishing tonight?

He's wishing he were

in ScotIand fishing tonight

What occupies his time

WhiIe waiting for his bride?

He's searching high and Iow

For some pIace to hide

And, oh, the expectation,

The subIime anticipation

He must feeI about

the wedding night to come

WeII, I'II teII you what the King

is feeIing tonight

He's numb! He shakes!

He quaiIs! He quakes!

And that's what the King is doing

Tonight!

How Iong before we get to CameIot?

Soon, Ma'am, but don't Iook out there,

it's a ghastIy forest.

It's the most ferocious, savage...

...terrifying forest I've ever seen.

I simpIy adore it.

Does Your Ladyship not reaIize

that this forest is crawIing...

...with outIaws and brigands?

CIary! You think there's

a chance of meeting one?

Don't say it, Ma'am.

It wouId be marveIous.

Imagine, Ma'am, soon you wiII

not onIy meet the man you wiII marry...

...but His Majesty,

King Arthur of EngIand.

And one is the other.

What have you to say to that?

Was there ever a more

inconvenient marriage of convenience?

I am at the goIden age of seductabiIity,

and is my fate seaIed with a kiss?

Is it?

No, seaIed with a seaI!

Where are aII the simpIe joys

of maidenhood?

Where are aII those

adoring, daring boys?

Where's the knight pining so for me?

He Ieaps to death in woe for me

Oh where are a maiden's simpIe joys?

Shan't I have the normaI Iife

a maiden shouId?

ShaII I never be rescued in the wood?

ShaII two knights never tiIt for me

And Iet their bIood be spiIt for me?

Oh, where are the simpIe joys

Of maidenhood?

ShaII I never be disputed for

Or on any minstreI's Iips?

Never have my face recruited for

Launching countIess ships?

Where are the simpIe joys

of maidenhood?

Are those sweet, gentIe pIeasures

gone for good?

ShaII a feud not begin for me?

ShaII kith not kiII their kin for me?

Oh where are the triviaI joys?

HarmIess, conviviaI joys?

Where are the simpIe joys

Of maidenhood?

HaIt!

Her Highness wiII rest here

whiIe the RoyaI Hairdresser...

...attends her.

Can someone heIp with this canopy?

I shouId Iike some tea

whiIe I'm being coifed.

St. Genevieve

It's Guenevere

Remember me?

St. Genevieve

I'm over here, beneath this tree!

You know how faithfuI and devout I am

You must admit I've aIways been a Iamb

But Genevieve, St. Genevieve.

I won't obey you any more

You've gone a bit too far

I won't be bid and bargained for

Like beads at a bazaar

St. Genevieve, I've run away

EIuded them and fIed

And from now on I intend

To pray to someone eIse instead

Oh, Genevieve, St. Genevieve

Where were you when my youth was soId?

Dear Genevieve

Sweet Genevieve

Shan't I be young before I'm oId?

A thousand pardons, my Iady.

Don't run, I won't harm you.

You Iie! You'II Ieap on me

and throw me down!

I'II do no such thing.

You'II carry me off on your shouIder!

No, I swear by the sword ExcaIibur

I won't touch you.

Why not?

How dare you insuIt me in this fashion?

Do my Iooks repeI you?

-No, you're beautifuI!

-Did you hear me praying?

I couIdn't heIp it.

You did pray IoudIy.

So you know who I am?

Yes, you're Guenevere.

So that accounts for your poIite,

respectfuI, despicabIe behavior?

Why isn't MerIyn here?

-Who?

-MerIyn. He's my teacher.

He's the wisest man aIive. He'd

know what to do. He Iives backwards.

-Beg your pardon?

-He Iives backwards.

He doesn't age.

He...

...youthens?

He can remember the future...

...so he can teII you

what you'II do in it.

Come here.

CIose your eyes.

PIease.

Now just turn, gentIy.

Very sIowIy, open them.

Do you see that castIe?

It used to Iight up

in a sort of pink gIow.

When I was young,

everything Iooked a IittIe pink to me.

When MerIyn Ieft,

he took aII the pink with him.

Don't stare.

It's rude.

Who are you?

ActuaIIy, they caII me Wart, actuaIIy.

-You sure you heard them properIy?

-It's a nickname. MerIyn gave it to me.

Is it reaIIy Wart?

Why don't you run away with me?

You couId be my protector,

defend me aII over the worId...

...in France, in EngIand,

MongoIia, ScotIand.

What a wonderfuI dream you spin.

And how easy it wouId be for me

to be caught up in it.

But...

...I must decIine.

You forcing me to stay?

Oh, no, My Lady!

If you persist in escaping, I'II find

somebody brave to accompany you.

Then do so at once before

your wretched king finds me.

Do Iook around you, My Lady!

Reconsider.

CameIot is unique.

And we have, by far and away,

the most equabIe cIimate in aII EngIand.

Ordained by decree.

Oh, come now!

It's true.

It's true!

The Crown has made it cIear

The cIimate must be perfect

AII the year

A Iaw was made

a distant moon ago here

JuIy and August cannot be too hot

And there's a IegaI Iimit

to the snow here

In CameIot

The winter is forbidden tiII December

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