Campfire Tales

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Hey, all you lovebirds

out there...

Rockin' Rob's telling you

to listen to this one...

from inside home, sweet home.

No joke, kids.

Police are still searching

for Willie "The Hook" Peters...

who escaped yesterday from

Burke State Mental Hospital...

so stay safe and stay cool

with this next hot tune.

# Oh, well #

# I'm #

# Uhh, sittin' here, la la #

# Waitin' for my ya ya, uh-huh #

# Uh-huh #

# A-sittin' here, la la #

# Waitin' for my ya ya, uh-huh #

# Uh-huh #

# It may sound funny #

# But I don't believe

she's comin', uh-huh #

# Uh-huh #

# Baby, hurry,

don't make me worry #

-I'm a virgin.

-You are?

# Uh-huh #

# Oh, yeah, baby, hurry #

# Don't make me worry, uh-huh #

# Uh-huh #

Stop.

# You know that I love you #

# Oh, how I love you, uh-huh #

# Uh-huh #

# A-sittin' here, la la #

# Waitin' for my ya ya,

uh-huh, uh-huh #

What? What's the matter?

# A-sittin' here, la la #

Nothing, nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

# But I don't believe

she's comin', uh-huh #

Just a second.

Let's take this off.

No. No.

Unzip this. Come on. Just do it.

No. No!

Don't. Don't.

What gives, Jenny?

I thought you liked me.

Look, I thought

I saw someone out there.

# It may sound funny #

Come on, Jenny,

I know you don't want to do it.

You don't have to make excuses

about it, though.

I'm serious, Eddie.

I saw someone.

What if it's that guy

with the hook hand?

OK.

All right,

well, forget about it.

They're not--

Nobody's lookin', all right?

Come on, don't worry about it.

# Baby, hurry #

# Don't make me worry, uh-huh #

Unh. Unh.

There! I saw someone.

Well, I don't see anything,

all right? Now, come on.

# And, oh, how I love you #

There! There was a flash!

Look,

there's nobody out there, OK?

Eddie, listen,

I want to get out of here.

OK, how about just, you know--

No, no, no.

-A handjob?

-What? No!

Get--No! You take me home!

Take me home!

What are you doing?

Eddie! Drive, Eddie! Go!

All right. Cool it, will ya?

I just want to go. Take me home!

-Go!

-Right!

# Mama said

there'll be days like this #

# There'll be days like this,

Mama said #

# Mama said, Mama said #

# Mama said

there'll be days like this #

# There'll be days

like this... #

This doesn't look like my house.

Just one burger, all right?

Tch.

# Everything was going fine #

# I met a little boy

named Billy Joe #

Chicks, man.

Eddie? Eddie?

-What?

-I'll have a milkshake.

# There'll be days like this,

my mama said #

# Mama said, mama said #

Oh, my God.

Why didn't the guy get

one of those fake hands?

God, man, I don't know.

They didn't have them

back then.

Like you know.

Slow down, baby.

It's under control, Lauren.

Relax.

We should've

stayed on the highway.

Ohh, we don't need no highway.

We take the back ways, man.

This is the scenic route.

Would you get

your boyfriend in line?

Just chill out.

Enjoy the ride.

I shouldn't have come.

Whoo hoo! Ha ha ha!

Man, this is the best car, man!

Well, would you drive like

a decent human being?

Cliff, watch it.

Watch. Watch, watch, watch,

watch, watch, watch.

Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo hoo hoo!

-Knock it off.

-It's not funny, Cliff.

Aw, come on, Lauren,

lighten up.

Come here.

Cut it out

and watch the road.

-Not in front of my brother.

-You guys are gross.

Me? I'm not doing anything.

Would you get on

the right side of the road?

Come on, man!

Nobody else out here.

It's just us.

Cliff! Cliff, watch it!

-Are you sure you're OK?

-Yeah, I said I'm fine.

OK.

Oh, man. I'm sorry, you guys.

Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.

I know. I know.

Oh, God, you're bleeding.

Need a hand?

F*** off.

Well, obviously

she's feeling OK.

Thank God

we didn't hit that car.

They came out of nowhere.

They came out of nowhere?

You were the one

that was all over the road.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe this.

Oh, my God,

my brother's gonna kill me, man.

Listen,

I'm really worried about Eric.

He looks really shaken up.

Hey, you OK?

-Yeah.

-Huh?

Want to help me

start these flares?

OK.

All right.

They didn't even stop.

Probably thought we were crazy.

Uhh.

Let's just start walking.

-Where?

-You can start walking, OK?

I can't leave

my brother's car here.

If you had just stayed

on the highway like I said...

we wouldn't be here

freezing our asses off...

in the middle of nowhere.

Why do you have to be

such a pain in the ass?

Why do you have to be

such an idiot?

F*** you.

Oh, God, would you guys

please stop it? Please?

Eric, where are you going?

-You guys, come look at this.

-Give me the flashlight.

Oh, my God.

Looks like

it must have been a church.

God, this place is creepy.

It's just a building, Alex.

Wow, this looks like

early nineteenth century.

I'd say...

How can you tell?

Well, it says it right there.

See, it's not that bad, man.

We're all OK, you know?

We saw a great concert.

Right?

It was pretty awesome.

There you go, buddy.

You wear that T-shirt

tomorrow to school...

you're gonna be the man.

Guys, maybe we should

go back up to the road.

That way, if a car comes,

then they can call for help.

Yeah, right before they kill us.

We're OK.

If a car comes, they're

gonna stop at the flares...

and we'll hear 'em.

You want to build a fire?

Nice.

Ohh.

Don't burn the article

about the concert.

What's the matter?

Holy sh*t.

What?

Two people were hacked to death

around here.

Yeah, right.

Let me see that for a second.

Oh, this is sick.

What?

"Police speculate

that the murder weapon...

was an ice pick

or possibly even a meat hook."

They say they have a suspect...

but they haven't made

an arrest yet.

That's pretty freaky sh*t.

Ohh.

Hey, you OK, Eric?

What? Yeah.

You're lookin' a little scared

over there.

No. I'm not scared at all.

Well, uh...

I think that's just 'cause...

you know,

you're with me right now.

If you were alone, I mean...

you'd be shitting in your pants.

I mean, you'd be...

seeing and hearing things...

that weren't even here,

you know?

You'd feel like

you were being watched.

Every sound would seem louder

than it really was, you know?

Dee!

You are such an a**hole.

You're not gonna scare us.

Really?

You know,

if I did want to scare you...

I'd tell you

about Rick and Valerie.

-Cliff.

-You'd tell her about who?

He's asking.

Yeah, tell me.

Come on, tell me.

I'm not scared.

Go ahead.

All right.

Rick and Valerie were these

newlyweds from Long lsland.

They decided to honeymoon,

road-tripping to Vegas.

They were gonna stop

along the way...

and see all the sights.

So they rented this big ass RV,

and they were off.

# I have kissed your lips #

# A thousand times #

# And more times

than I can count #

# I have called you mine #

# You have stood by me #

# In my darkest hour #

# And, oh, how happy #

# You have made me #

# Oh, how happy #

# You have made me #

Come on, everybody.

# Oh, how happy #

# You have made me #

# Oh... #

# Oh, how happy

you have made me #

Ooh. I think

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