Capturing the Friedmans

Hi. It's me.

Oh, we're not ready yet?

Hi.

It's me, Jesse.

Are we there?

Good. We're there.

Well, this afternoon,

after a very lousy sketch

about yo-yoing,

I figure we'll, for lack of

anything better to do,

we'll take it towards a more

serious side right about now.

And we're going to conduct

an interview with

Arnold Friedman, my father.

I still feel like I knew

my father very well.

I don't think that just because

there were things in his life

that were private and

secret and shameful

that that means that

the father who I knew

and the things I knew about him

were in any way not real.

They're gonna put me

in the movies

They're gonna make

a big star out of me

We'll make a film about a man

that's sad and lonely

And all I got to do

is act naturally

Well, I'll bet you I'm

a-gonna be a big star

Might win an Oscar,

you can't never tell

The movies gonna

make me a big star

'Cause I can play

the part so well

Well, I hope you come

to see me in the movies

Then I know that you

will plainly see

The biggest fool that's

ever hit the big time

And all I got to do

is act naturally

Arnold liked pictures.

I mean, that's, let's face it.

He liked pictures.

Well, we're here.

This is it, the whole

family assembled.

Everybody in

Great Neck, New York.

We had three sons.

David, being the oldest

had a lot of responsibility

when he was young.

Seth was an outright rebel.

And somehow, Jesse

was just like the

the one that keeps

trying to catch up

and doesn't quite make it.

I have very good memories

of the, of my, well,

I have very good memories

of my childhood.

I had a great time growing up.

I had a great time

because of my friends.

And my father was great.

I mean, he may not have

been the best father,

but he went to

Columbia University.

And then when he graduated,

he went to the Catskills

to play in his band.

The Jazzbo Mambo

With a boogie beat

Is the newest dance

on 52nd Street

The band was called Arnito Rey

and his Orchestra.

My father's name

was Arnold Friedman.

This was in the late

40's and early '50s.

So he played Latin music.

It was very big at the time,

and so he changed

his name to Arnito Rey.

We'll do a Jazzbo Mambo

8 to the bar

I don't know.

My dad was a cool guy, you know?

He was a schoolteacher.

And I think that the other kids

liked him, and he liked kids.

But he didn't like spending

a lot of time with his wife,

so he would teach high

school during the day

and then after school, he would

come home and teach

piano lessons and later computer

lessons in the house.

And that was, of course, more

time he didn't have to spend

with his wife.

I'm not that anxious to talk

about his father,

because, you know,

we were divorced, and

But his father, he would,

I don't really want

to talk about it.

In case anybody didn't know,

I'm the father of this family.

I'm never in the movies.

Never see me in any

of the pictures,

but I really am the father.

And we're all gathered together

while David is messing up

the camera here.

Now he's taking a good movie

and zooming in and out.

When you see me on this,

you're gonna say

Okay, shut it.

He died of a surprise heart

attack about 5 years ago.

And it was very, very sad.

He was, you know,

selfless, altruistic.

But in the end, he wasn't

together with your mom?

He wasn't together

with my mother at the end.

And when did they make

the decision not to be together?

Long before he died?

Couple years before his death.

There's a lot I,

well, whatever.

There's some things I don't

want to talk about.

Well, this is private,

so if you don't,

if you're not me,

then you really shouldn't

be watching this,

because this is supposed to be

a private situation

between me and me.

This is between me now

and me in the future.

So turn it off.

Don't watch this.

This is private.

If you're the f***ing,

oh, God, the cops.

And if you're the f***ing cops,

go f*** yourselves,

because you're full of sh*t.

Back in 1984, US Customs had

seized some child pornography,

addressed from the Netherlands,

in the mail to Arnold Friedman.

Now, he never got that

piece of mail,

but his name was

forwarded on to us.

So what we would do then

would be to initiate

a correspondence with

Arnold in the hopes

that we can determine if he is

in fact willing to violate

the statute again about mailing

or receiving child pornography.

"Dear Stan, the book is

Joe, 14, and his uncle."

I think I'd like you to send me

something, sort of good faith,

and I will forward this rather

precious book to you.

"Thanks, Arnie."

See, it's very hard

to believe that

this so-called "good

marriage" was so disturbed.

He sent him these pictures,

and he sent him a note

that I remember, because

the lawyer got the note.

And then he wrote, "Enjoy."

Since he had sent the magazine,

he was always asking

for it back.

So I asked the prosecutors,

"Let's grant him his wish.

He wants his magazine back."

I dressed up as a mail carrier,

knocked on his door,

asked him if he was

Arnold Friedman.

He replied he was.

And I said, "I have

a package for you."

Sign right here."

He did.

About an hour later,

we went back.

We would give him some

time with the magazine.

I'm dressed now.

I just put a blue suit jacket

over the carrier's uniform.

And I told him, "I have a search

warrant for child pornography."

He says, "There's nothin'

like that here."

And I said,

"You don't recognize me?"

I'd just been at

his door an hour ago.

He goes, "No."

And I took off my jacket, and I

said, "Now do you recognize me?"

"Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

The magazine is upstairs."

So we went up to his bedroom.

In the top dresser door

was the open magazine.

Well, he thought we would take

the magazine and leave,

and I said, "No, we have

a search warrant."

We're gonna search the whole

house for child pornography."

And around that time

his wife showed up.

I thought they were

searching, like, for

marijuana or something.

I didn't know what they

were searching for,

to tell you the truth.

And I thought

it was a big mistake.

One of the first things

we went to was his office.

And I remember just as I was

about to pull out a drawer,

Mr. Friedman came

rushing in and said,

"Wait. I'll get that for you."

And said, "Here."

This is all that's there."

And it was one piece of mail

from the Netherlands,

but it was child pornography.

And he said, "That's it."

That's all there is."

And I said, "Well, that's

great, Mr. Friedman",

but we're still gonna search."

And he goes, "I don't

understand why you don't go"

when I tell you

that's all there is?"

And I said, "Well,

we don't believe you."

Well, it's not something he

sort of left lying around

on the kitchen table.

He wasn't proud of it,

and he kept it hidden.

He had his office downstairs.

It wasn't, like, right there.

You had to go downstairs

and around the corner

to get to his office.

We used to have

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