Car Dogs

1

Available sales to the showroom.

Available sales

to the showroom, please.

Look...

I know how people feel

about car salesmen.

Most of the time,

I completely understand.

You might not

believe this, but...

I can't tell you how much I wanna

build something different.

Man:
I know.

Honey, I know.

I hear you.

Woman, on telephone:

I really don't think you do.

No, I do. I'm...

Mark, please.

I really do.

Yeah? Okay, so?

Ashley, you're right.

I promise...

I've had this reservation

for a month.

You're absolutely right.

Yeah. Okay.

I just can't...

Then I'll

see you at 5:
00.

No, I can't. I...

Who makes a reservation...

Can't we just

push it to tomorrow?

Mark, I need you to understand

what this feels like.

Uh, okay. Okay.

I understand.

I do. No, I do. I do.

But you need to

understand, too, okay?

I am under

a lot of pressure here.

I'm not just...

We've talked about this,

and you're the one who told me.

- Yes, I know.

- To the floor.

I know. I know.

Stop being a wimp, then.

I know, and I meant that.

Okay, but you need

to listen, all right?

You just...

No, understand.

You know him, all right?

You know my dad,

and he is killing me right now.

Today I have had to do

some things that...

That I'm not exactly proud of,

and I need you, okay?

I just need you on my team.

I need you on my team

for one day, please.

I've always been

on your team, mark.

You are the one

who's canceling on me.

You just don't get it!

Well, why don't you

explain it to me then?

Because I don't have time, okay?

Don't have time

on our anniversary?

No, I don't have time, because I'm

supposed to be on the floor, okay?

Because I have a number that I

have to hit by the end of the day,

and once I do hit that

number, I swear to god

everything is gonna be different

for you and me, okay?

I promise. And I'm

not only talking about

all the money that

I'm gonna bring home,

but about the time and attention

I'm gonna be able

to give our marriage,

our relationship, okay?

Ash?

Ash?

Boss, I got nothin'.

She's 70, right?

Right.

Then she sure as sh*t

didn't come down here

just to kick some tires,

now, did she?

100, 200, something,

anything, whatever it takes.

Available sales to the showroom.

Available sales to the showroom.

Salesman:

No problem.

Green pea.

Hmm?

Yeah, you.

My name's Tyler.

No, it's not.

It's green pea.

You get a name when you sell a car.

Who's training you?

He's...

Charlie, show Mr. Baldrich

to his new vehicle.

Yes.

Zig Ziglar

just closed number 15,

and I hope that Roley

has a big band.

I like to wear my watches

nice and loose.

Hey, are you training this?

I'm facilitating his career.

Well, then please do so,

because I don't need him

standing on the showroom floor,

looking like a lost puppy

that can't find his mom.

Come on, Simba.

Let's go.

Hey! Mother-daughter

two-car deal.

Where we at?

They'll be here in an hour.

Better be, 'cause according

to this, you only have 3 1/2.

Mark:
Where we at?

Well, Christian's make 15.

I just closed Caleb's for 16,

which means we

got about 3 1/2 hours

to sell another 19.

The good news?

You'll be lucky if that number

doesn't jump back up

to 20 or 21.

What? Why?

Yes, because Christian's

mother-daughter two-car deal

has yet to show.

Yeah, I know.

And Sharon's guy

from yesterday called.

Whoa. Wait, the guy that was

hitting on her all day?

Yes, him.

What?

What did he call about?

What does he want?

He called her to tell 'em

he's on his way back in.

His way back in to do what?

Unwind. What the f***

do you think, mark?

F***.

Yeah, f***.

You got your work

cut out for you, mark.

Could you give us

a minute, please, Caleb?

Look, Boyd, I get it.

You're pissed off,

and that's fine,

but don't pretend

like you don't have something

at stake here, too.

So, please, wait till 5:00 P.M.

before you crucify me.

I'm not here

to crucify you, okay?

But that sh*t that happened

with Scott today

was a chickenshit move,

and you know it.

Look, I know it's not easy working for

your old man, but you gonna have...

Don't go there.

Look, if anybody deserves

a bullet in their head

around here, it's Reynolds.

Got one, baby.

F***.

"F***" is right.

This mooch,

this credit criminal,

this is the guy

you spent

the last three hours with.

He's that bad?

Sh*t.

This guy couldn't buy

love from his mother, Quinn.

Heh. You like jokes?

F*** you.

Now go throw this cocksucker out

and grab another up, or

better yet, you know what?

Don't until you learn

how to do your f***ing job.

Eh?

Caleb, board.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

It's just after 1:30,

which means we have

less than 3 1/2 hours

to put another 19 sleds

on the road.

So if you're looking forward to

seeing your paychecks on Monday

or to getting a portion of this

wad of spiff money I have,

then I want you all to pull

your heads out of your asses

right now, because

the clock is ticking,

and with 16 cars boarded,

300 is very long, long

way to go, so let's go!

Let's go! Let's go!

Go get it.

Wow. Moving.

Reynolds, what's your problem?

My problem?

Mark, I'm not the one who's been

walking around here all

day, crying about Scottie.

Sh*t, if you ask me, we should

have fired his ass months ago.

And yet no one asked you.

You know, it's funny, Boyd.

Why is it that you're only

tough when he's around?

Hey, you feeling froggy,

Reynolds, just jump.

You know, come

to think of it, mark,

with all the rope you've given

Scott this last six months,

you could have hung two people.

Oh, you son of a b*tch.

Let's go, you and me right now.

Like I said, Boyd, you're

only tough when he's around.

Well, try that sh*t when he's

not around, motherf***er.

Hey! Hey!

'Cause I will kick

your motherfucking ass, man!

I will break your f***ing neck!

Woman:
Hey! Hey!

You know, if I thought

it would help,

I suggest the two of you just drop

your pants and get it over with,

but I'm afraid that wouldn't

pan out so well for Reynolds.

You're damn right it won't.

Actually, with the size

of your dick, Sharon,

my money's on you.

Ah. Ah. Not today.

You know, one of these days,

I'm gonna let him

beat the sh*t out of you.

Oh, are you?

Are you, really?

Hey, can we get back to selling

cars and my little problem?

Yeah. I heard.

So what's his deal?

Other than he wants to

unwind, I don't know.

Maybe he's coming

out of the ether.

That or his old lady told

him to bring it back.

Okay, well, just so you know,

I'm not unwinding sh*t,

not today.

Man:
You guys

f***ed me here!

I told the both of you I

need to speak to the owner.

I know my rights.

I'm returning this car.

No. No. Sharon, I told you

I am not unwinding sh*t.

I don't care how mad he gets,

he better enjoy his new car,

and if he has

a problem with that,

then he better

find himself a new wife.

Yo, boss.

What?

Yours is sitting in your office.

Where's the owner?

I know my f***ing rights.

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