Car Wash Page #2

There ain't no black Superman.

Dig it, l would be the first!

l wouldn't be no square sucker,

l'd be sharp, sharp, sharp.

l'd have me a bad, black cape, man,

and a helmet, two big eyes ...

You full o' sh*t!

- Come on, Lloyd, like wow,

l'd just be able to

walk up buildings, brother,

and nobody would mess with me.

Nobody, 'cause l'd be the Fly.

You're still full o' sh*t.

You wouldn't talk to me like that

if l was the Fly. - Dh yes l would!

Because then you'd be

full o' fly sh*t.

You know what?

Ain't nothin' lower!

Not kangaroo sh*t,

elephant sh*t or chickenshit.

Ain't nothin' lower than fly sh*t!

You crazy, man! l swear l'll kill you

if you ever do that again!

Mess with my shirt and l'll kill you.

ln only 4 hours, l'll give you

the best shine ever. - Do it!

Look, you didn't happen, by chance,

to see a tall, blonde black girl?

No.

- DK, go ahead, get in.

l'm on my way to see Slide.

Wanna play a number?

- Go lose your own money, fool!

Fool?

Who you callin' fool?

Why you think you're so special?

- 'Cause l'm the only n*gger here

who doesn't get wet. l'm the star!

Just like me:
shinin', shinin'.

Dnly you stoop a lot lower ...

lrwin, report to the office!

- ... a lot lower.

Wherever you are,

report to the office!

Did you hear your father, lrwin?

Report to the office!

Dee-Luxe Car Wash.

Hold on, please.

Leon,

it's your wife.

Myrna?

Sure, we can talk.

Why not?

Yes.

Don't do that! Put that down!

Nothing. lt's nothing.

Myrna, is that all?

l'm busy, Myrna!

The new drapes are too short.

Does she care how much it costs?

Poor Leon!

Watch it! My son!

l want to talk to you, lrwin.

l know it's summer vacation, but

maybe you can look over the receipts,

give us the benefit of your business

management studies, check my figures.

l wanna work with the men, Dad.

- What?

l wanna work with the men!

Listen, l wanna be

one of the working class!

Like Mao says, ''Workers of the

world unite.'' - You, a college man

with a 20,000-dollar education,

and you wanna wash cars? - Listen ...

That book!

l don't want to see that book again!

All right, Pop, hang loose.

Go ahead, wash cars!

All right!

Hang in there, we're makin'

it happen. J.B. here on KGYS.

Keep that glide in your stride!

lt's 10:
18 in the a.m.

lt's 75 out at the ocean,

the surf report is good

from Malibu to Newport Beach.

So this next tune's for

all you surfers out there. Hang 10!

You all right, Calvin?

You all right? You know not to skate

through here. Now get outta here!

Calvin ...

- Watch out!

You again?

- Go play in the street, Calvin!

THANK YDU! CDME AGAlN.

l'd like to get some

information about a social disease.

l can't right now, l'm workin'.

No ...

Not yet ...

Well ...

lt's just kinda

hangin' there, lookin' sick.

Hey lrwin, you cool?

- l'm cool!

What's happenin'?

And then ... - Looks like the Car Wash

heir wants to play in the water.

Look at that child!

Brothers, l'm here

to unite with you!

Stoned to the tits!

lrwin, go down with Lloyd and Floyd

and work with the steam, DK?

l think l better work with the dryers.

Problems, boys?

Man.

Far out!

- You DK, kid?

Wow. What a trip!

Stop horsing around!

lrwin, stop that foolin' around.

- You better put on something dry.

Wash cars! - l'm the first human being

to go through a car wash!

Number 1! Number 1!

Hey, Mr. B!

This is no playground, kid.

Why do other car washes got fancy

brushes, and you still wash by hand?

That's our feature: We do it

all by hand. The personal touch!

Can't you read the sign?

- You're just too cheap for machines!

Get outta here. Beat it!

To keep fresh and feminine, use

''Wildflower'' for personal hygiene.

Because it's made for you.

l drink it every day, can you dig it?

And when l do,

it makes me go ...

Sorry!

That's DK, baby.

You're my kinda woman!

First person to call 555-KGYS

and name this song

wins the first pair of tickets

to J.B.'s Disco Dancin' Show.

Drop a dime, get on the line

at 555-KGYS. Call me now!

What's that cat doin'?

You mean l ain't got no dime?

We have a winner in Compton!

Knew the song, didn't have no change.

- Quick as a flash, no cash T.C.!

The next song is ''Swanee River''.

- l never liked you anyway. - Dime?

Thank you.

- lt's on me, brother.

Df course it's busy.

lt's a beauty salon. Just break in!

Ricky, hold it in for Mommy.

Do it out the window!

Dperator? This is urgent!

lf they do come through,

please call me at this number.

lt's absolutely urgent.

No, away from the car!

You got yourself a customer, honey.

Dh my God!

lt's gonna get the paint out. l told

you to throw up away from the car!

Can you get it off before

it wrecks the finish? Come on out!

l'm very late. Will it eat through

the paint? Look at you, you're ...

Where is the ...? - Dver there.

- Thank you. Please hurry,

the finish is going to be ruined.

lf Monsieur Mark calls,

would you ask him to take me

half an hour later, please? - Sure.

ls somebody in there?

This is an emergency!

l have an emergency!

- l think someone's in there.

Please! Dpen up!

Miss Sing wants it clean, honey.

- Charlie, come take over for me!

What's going on in there?

Why don't you open up?

God, please open this door!

Dh my God, it stinks in here!

- lt's supposed to, it's the toilet.

l'm not going in there,

it's the ladies' room.

Beautiful! Stay with me, 'cause

we'll be giving away tickets all day,

so we can boogie all night.

Get down, baby!

You wanna get that, Mona?

Hello, ''Five Spot''.

l know you didn't do it.

lt's all right. ls it clean yet? Sir?

Yes ma'am.

- Thank you. Ricky, get in.

l see a speck.

lt's in the paint. - No it's not.

Do it again, please.

Believe me, it's in the paint.

- l don't believe you. Try it again.

lt's in the paint. Look for yourself.

- l am. l brought this car in,

you are refusing to do your job,

l am refusing to tip you!

Just shows you what happens

when you leave Beverly Hills!

Mom!

- Not now, Ricky.

Adios, Miss Beverly Hills!

l know you'll dig this.

Guaranteed to ease your pain,

and take the chain off your brain.

lt's long and low and dedicated to

what makes the world go 'round.

TlTHE

Hey, guys, look who's here!

Whose car is that?

- The supreme black man, that's who!

Yeah, that's Daddy Rich.

You never watch him on TV?

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord!

Praise this car, honey!

- Thank you, Miss.

Daddy Rich, what's your secret,

brother? - My secret?

Good to see you. The secret?

Thank you. There are no secrets!

Except belief in the Lord!

And belief in yourself.

And most of all,

belief in the federal green!

'Cause money walks,

and bullshit talks!

How you doin', brother? - Daddy Rich,

l've been followin' you for 5 years.

Would you allow me the privilege

of shinin' your shoes? Please.

You know what they say:

''l take what is given unto me.''

Amen.

Daddy Rich's special polish.

What's it like in there? - Like

being in church with Burt Reynolds!

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