Carjacked Page #2

Lorraine... you know,

such a beautiful name.

I had a very special woman

in my life named Lorraine actually.

Really?

She had an intimate relationship

with my backside in my formative years...

yeah, her and her little

hickory stick.

Never mind there, buddy.

You wouldn't understand.

But that's my tale of woe.

We've all got 'em, right?

Yeah.

- It's a joke.

- What?

Lorraine, "backside, tail"...

- You get it? What's that called?

- Yeah yeah, I get it.

A pun.

- Huh?

- It's called a pun.

- A pun, yeah.

- Yeah.

You're right.

You've got a smart mama there, boy.

I hope she's a better mom

than mine was.

Mom wasn't nice to you, huh?

I'm sorry.

Just find the freeway, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Um, there's a roadblock.

- You see that?

- Yeah. Oh yeah.

And that's for little old me.

So I'm gonna turn around, okay?

No, I want you to do

what I tell you to do.

I want you to relax

and drive the car.

So why don't we be the nice little

happy fake family that we are?

And we'll go through smiling, okay?

Just relax.

Just drive.

Easy, Lorraine.

Evening, folks.

What's going on, Officer?

We've got a couple bank robbers

on the loose.

Don't be alarmed.

We got them bottled up.

You folks heading out of town?

Um, yes.

Where to?

We're just going a couple exits

down the highway

to that new steak joint.

You been there?

Yeah, it's pretty good.

Look, I'm gonna need

to see your ID.

Yeah, no problem.

Do you have a description

of the robbers, Officer?

Maybe we've seen something.

There's not much of one.

Two white males...

one medium-build, one heavyset.

What did they do?

Walked into a bank in broad daylight

and took a whole bunch of money.

We've only got one witness who saw

anything. it's the sheriff's deputy.

He's in the hospital right now

getting bullets taken out.

Oh, one of them shot him?

Jesus. it's too bad.

So is he the only one

that got shot or... ?

No, we think we got

one of the bank robbers too.

I guess you used to be

in the military, huh?

Can't say I blame you

for letting it grow.

Yeah.

Is there anything else

we can do for you, sir?

Yeah, there's just one thing.

You know you're breaking

the law, don't you?

Your son needs to be

in a seat belt.

Oh. Chad, what did I

tell you, buddy?

Are you gonna give us a ticket,

Officer?

- You gotta put your belt on.

- Not right now.

Little man, do me a favor. Make sure

that seat belt's buckled at all times.

Yeah, we got it.

I'm sorry, Officer.

You folks have a good night.

Thank you.

Drive.

Why did that officer think

I used to be in the military?

Did you?

Maybe he could tell.

That's a theory, Lorraine,

except I never was in the military.

Let me show you something.

This is my ID.

Not a bad shot, huh?

I want to see yours.

Oh, my... no.

It's such a terrible picture.

I hate it so much.

Yeah, but I want to see it.

Oh, here we go.

Come here.

What have we got here?

Aha. Hey, little man,

who's in that picture, eh?

That's me and Mommy.

- And?

- And Daddy.

And Daddy.

Not me.

- I'm sorry.

- Well, I think I'll be in charge

of the family finances

from now on,

except there's no cash.

You've got no credit cards.

What do you guys do for money?

I don't get paid till Friday,

all right?

Well, that seems weird.

So what do you do Monday,

Tuesday, Wednesday...

all the days... ?

- We get by.

- Get by on frozen mini-pizzas

is what you get by on, huh?

You could buy a loaf of bread

and a jar of peanut butter for Chad

- with all the money that it cost for...

- Are you questioning

how I feed my child?

- Whoa, put your hands on the wheel.

- I'm sorry. Okay.

- Control the goddamn car.

- Okay.

Are you forgetting what this is?

No.

Who do you think has control

of this situation, huh?

You do.

Well, that's good

you know that.

It's strange, 'cause a guy

with a deadly firearm in your car...

I thought I set

the ground rules for you.

But your mom... she's a bit...

loopy.

She's forgetting some details.

- I was just trying to...

- Well, now you're a little fuzzy

on the details, so what I want to do

is start over and lay them out for you.

As long as I'm in this car,

there's gonna be no more crying,

lying or chit-chat.

You understand me?

Fine. You're just not

understanding what I'm sa...

Uh-uh, that sounds like chit-chat,

Lorraine.

We just covered that.

If you take me where I gotta go

and you don't lie,

everything's gonna be fine.

You and your boy will be safe.

This is what we call

a little grace period

and it starts now.

What have you got

in that pocket there?

What?

Now don't play innocent

with me, Lorraine.

In your little pocket.

What?

Oh. I... I quit.

I'm trying to quit.

- Sorry, buddy.

- It's okay, Mom.

- Have one. It will calm your nerves.

- No. No, thank you.

- How about you, bud?

- No.

I'm kidding.

You're not gonna be a smoker.

It's a horrible habit.

What?

You're a beautiful woman.

You seem a little sad though.

I bet you clean up real nice.

Looks like we're running out

of gas.

So why don't we stop?

We've got a long trip ahead of us.

Well, as you have seen,

I don't have a dime.

- Yeah, no sh*t.

- Mommy.

Sorry. That's two strikes for Roy.

I'm sorry.

I'm rather flush at the moment,

so it shouldn't be a problem.

Let's get some gas.

Hi.

Let's go to that diner over there.

- Are you hungry, bud?

- Pardon me.

I'll get you whatever you want.

What do you like?

I want chocolate milk.

Chocolate milk, huh?

Let's go over here, Lorraine.

And pie... he likes pie.

That's a lot of sugar, but okay.

Let's get some burgers too, huh,

with some pickles, some ketchup?

Can I still have

the chocolate milk?

Sure. I told you,

whatever you want.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Come on, buddy.

Okay, well, Chad is gonna...

he's gonna stay with me.

We're gonna order our food,

right, bud?

Be quick, all right?

Come sit with me, bud.

Lorraine, we'll be right here,

so hurry up, okay?

Oh my God.

Sh*t.

You want a pork rind?

Don't hurt my mom.

- I'm not gonna hurt your mom.

- Are you listening?

I'm listening to you.

I'm not gonna hurt you or your mom.

You've just got to do what I say

a little longer.

Hancock... near Hancock.

Off Highway 61.

I need some help, please.

- What city, please?

- I don't know what city.

Can you speak louder?

I can't hear you.

What?

Hold on.

- You play baseball or what?

- Tee ball.

Tee ball? What position?

You don't know?

Your dad never told you?

What's he doing... this guy?

He's got to step it up a notch.

Me... I played second base.

So if you want to hit

those home runs,

you've got to get ready.

You've got to wait for that pitch.

Bang!

A mile away.

You see that thing go?

Come on, you try.

You try.

You're a righty, huh?

All right, now you want to wait

for that pitch.

It's all in the hips.

Look at that pitcher in the eye.

Three, two, one.

Boom! Whoa.

See, now that would have been

a home run, buddy.

Don't forget

what I taught you, okay?

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