Carnage Page #13

NANCY:

Doctor, what a laugh! Hang up!

85.

MICHAEL'S MOTHER (O.S. - TEL)

Hello? What is all this about my

Antril?

ALAN:

But you're... I mean, you don't

have any balance issues?

MICHAEL'S MOTHER (O.S. - TEL)

No, I just drag my foot a little.

Can it kill me, Doctor? Can it

really kill me?

ALAN:

No, of course not. Not at all. Don't

listen to what people say. Still,

it's probably a good idea for you not

to take it anymore for a while.

MICHAEL'S MOTHER (O.S. - TEL)

For how long?

ALAN:

Just until... Until this operation

is behind you.

MICHAEL'S MOTHER (O.S. - TEL)

They’re going to ruin me. If you

could see me, you’d be surprised

how well preserved I am!

ALAN:

Yes, sounds like you're in excellent

shape.

MICHAEL tears the phone away.

MICHAEL:

All right, Ma. You got that? Stoptaking that medication. Just stop

taking it, do as you're told. I'll

call you back.

(hangs up)

I can't take her anymore. The sh*t

you put up with in life!

NANCY:

All right, should we wrap this up?

Should I come back tonight with

Zachary? Let's decide. This is

getting to be like, who cares? That

is what we're here for, after all.

PENELOPE:

Now I'm going to be sick. Where's the

bucket?

86.

MICHAEL takes the bottle of scotch and puts it out of

NANCY’s reach.

MICHAEL:

That's enough.

NANCY:

I'd say both sides share the blame.

So there you are. Both sides share

the blame.

PENELOPE:

What, you're serious?

NANCY:

Excuse me?

PENELOPE:

Is that what you really think?

NANCY:

It's what I think, yes.

PENELOPE:

Our son Ethan, who took codeine last

night at three in the morning, shares

the blame?

NANCY:

He's not necessarily innocent.

PENELOPE:

Get the f*** out! Get out of my

house.

She grabs NANCY's handbag and throws it against the door.

All the contents spill out.

PENELOPE (CONT'D)

Get the f*** out!

NANCY:

My bag!

(like a little girl:)

Alan!

MICHAEL:

What is going on here? They've

totally lost it.

NANCY picks up the items that have fallen from her bag.

NANCY:

Alan, do something!

PENELOPE:

"Alan, do something!"

87.

NANCY:

Shut your mouth! She broke my make-up

mirror! And my perfume!

(to ALAN:
)

Stand up for me. Why don't you stand

up for me?

ALAN:

Let's go.

He starts picking up the pieces of his cell phone.

PENELOPE:

It's not like I'm strangling her!

NANCY:

What did I do to you?!

PENELOPE:

The blame is not shared! The victim

and the criminal are not the same!

NANCY:

The criminal!

MICHAEL:

Oh give it a f***ing rest, Penelope!

Enough of these idealistic theories!

PENELOPE:

Which I believe in.

MICHAEL:

Yeah, you believe, you believe. This

crush you got on these Sudan sambos

is spilling over into everything now!

PENELOPE:

I am horrified. How can you be so

openly despicable?

MICHAEL:

Because I feel like it. I feel like

being openly despicable.

PENELOPE:

One day you'll understand the sheer

horror of what's happening in that

part of the world and you'll be

ashamed of your inability to take

action, of your contemptibly

nihilistic attitude.

MICHAEL:

Yes, darjeeling, you're so wonderful!

You are the best and the brightest

among us!

88.

PENELOPE:

Yes. Yes I am.

NANCY:

Let's get out of here, Alan. These

people are monsters!

NANCY drinks down the rest of her scotch and goes for the

bottle. ALAN stops her.

ALAN:

Stop it, Nancy.

NANCY:

No, I want to drink some more. I want

to get drunk off my ass. This b*tch

throws my bag against a wall and

nobody lifts a finger. I want to be

blind drunk!

ALAN:

You're drunk enough.

NANCY:

How can you let her call our son a

criminal? We come to their house to

work things out with them and they

insult us, browbeat us, they lecture

us about being good citizens of the

planet. I'm glad our son kicked the

sh*t out of your son and I wipe my

ass with your human rights!

MICHAEL:

A little booze and wow! We see her

true self. What happened to that

gracious, demure woman with the soft

eyes...

PENELOPE:

I told you! I told you!

ALAN:

What did you tell him?

PENELOPE:

That she was fake. This woman is

totally fake. I'm sorry.

NANCY:

(in distress:
)

Ha, ha, ha!

ALAN:

When exactly did you say that?

PENELOPE:

When you were in the bathroom.

89.

ALAN:

You had known her fifteen minutes and

you already knew she was fake?

PENELOPE:

I pick up on these things in people

pretty quickly.

MICHAEL:

She does.

PENELOPE:

I just have a nose for it.

ALAN:

Fake, what does that mean?

NANCY:

I don't want to listen to this! Why

do you put me through this, Alan!?

ALAN:

Relax, Doodle.

PENELOPE:

She’s a complete phony. She doesn’t

care any more than you do.

MICHAEL:

It's true.

ALAN:

It's true.

PENELOPE:

It's true! You're saying it's true?

MICHAEL:

They don't give a sh*t! It's so

obvious, right from the beginning,

they don't give a sh*t! She doesn't

give a sh*t either, you're right!

ALAN:

Like you do?

NANCY:

I...

ALAN:

(to NANCY:
)

Let him talk, honey.

(to MICHAEL:
)

Explain to me, Michael, exactly how

you care. What does that mean anyway?

You're more credible when you're

being openly despicable. Truth is,

nobody here cares.

(MORE)

90.

ALAN (CONT'D)

Except maybe Penelope, one must

acknowledge her integrity.

PENELOPE:

I don't need your acknowledgment! I

don't need your acknowledgment!

NANCY:

But I do care. I really do care.

ALAN:

We care in a hysterical way, Nancy.

Not like heroic figures of a social

movement.

(to PENELOPE:
)

I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV

the other day. Made me want to run

out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.

PENELOPE:

My friend Jane Fonda? What the hell

does she have to do with this?!

ALAN:

You're the same breed. You're the

same kind of involved, problem-solver

woman. Those are not the women we

like, the women we like are sensual,

crazy, shot full of hormones. The

ones who want to show off how

perceptive they are, the gatekeepers

of the world, they're a huge turnoff.

Even poor Michael, your own husband

is turned off...

MICHAEL:

Don't you speak for me!

PENELOPE:

We don't give a sh*t about what you

like in a woman! Where do you get off

spouting these opinions? You're one

man whose opinions we don't give a

sh*t about!

ALAN:

She's screaming. A quartermaster on a

slave ship!

PENELOPE:

What about her? She doesn't scream?

She didn't just scream that your

little a**hole was right to beat up

ours?

NANCY:

He was right! At least our kid isn't

a little wimpy-ass f*ggot!

91.

PENELOPE:

Yours is a snitch, that's supposed to

be better?

NANCY:

(picking up her

coat:
)

Let's go Alan! Why are we still in

this house?

PENELOPE:

Good question.

She starts toward the door but then crosses back to the

tulips and whacks them with her handbag.

The flowers go flying all over the place, in pieces.

NANCY:

Here! Here! This is what I think of

your stupid flowers, your hideous

tulips! Ha, ha, ha!

She breaks down crying.

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