Caro diario

CHAPTER I:

By motor- scooter.

Dear Diary,

there's something I like to do very much!

In Rome, the cinemas

are closed for the summer,

or at least they show such films as

"Sex love and sheep",

"Beastly desires",

"Snow white and the seven black dwarves",

horror films like "Henry",

or a few Italian films.

I am a little afraid

to come back into play.

I am a coward.

What has happened

in these years, I wonder...

I don't know it anymore.

Hair is getting grey,

and defeats

begin to be a burden.

...a non-stop series of defeats.

Our generation...

What's become of us?

Advertisers, architects, stock agents,

deputies, aldermen..

...journalists.

We have changed, we're worse,

nowadays we're all accomplices.

But why this obsession?

"All equal, all compromised,

we're all accomplices"...

Can you tell me when

we last had a walk together?

We are together

only from force of habit.

You're ashamed of me.

What a headache, even

"Optalidon" is no longer the same.

Remember how reassuring

its old tube used to be?

Everything is different now.

You know, Antonio?

You're getting worse and worse.

You can no longer feel

anything real now.

We are old, we're soured,

we are dishonest in our jobs.

We used to shout horrendous,

violent things, in our marches

and now look

how ugly we got.

YOU used to shout

horrendous and violent things

and you got ugly.

I used to shout true things,

and now I'm a wonderful 40 year old man.

What I like the most

is to see the houses,

to see the districts,

and the district that I prefer

is the Garbatella.

I walk around

the council houses there.

However I don't like to see

the houses only from the outside,

Sometimes I like to see

what they look like inside too.

Therefore, I ring some bell

and say I need to check the place

because I am preparing a film.

The landlords usually ask me:

"What's this film about?"

and I never know what to say.

This film is the story

of a Trotskian confectioner

and it's set in Italy in the '50s.

It's a musical.

A musical.

By the way, a musical about

a Trotskian confectioner wouldn't be bad at all,

above all if set in the

conformist Italy of the '50s.

When I ride my motor scooter,

I also like to stop and watch the attics

where I would like to live.

I imagine myself renovating the apartments

high above, those that I see

from the road,

apartments whose owners

have no intention to sell.

One day I saw an attic

that seemed to me more accessible.

Silvia and I also went to check it.

We asked how much it cost,

and the answer was:

"Ten million lire per square meter".

How, "Ten million lire per square meter"?

He says, "Well, of course,

because Dandolo Rd.

is a historical road.

Garibaldi fought the Resistance here.

I don't know why, I don't get it,

maybe I'm sick,

but I love this bridge.

I have to come here

at least twice a day.

Want to know what I was thinking of?

A very sad thing.

That I, even in a more decent

society than this one,

will always be in the minority,

but not as in those films where

there are a man and a woman

who hate one another and tear

each other to pieces on a desert island

because the director of the film

doesn't believe in people.

I believe in people.

I don't believe

in the majority of people.

I'm afraid that

I will always be comfortable

only in the minority.

Whatever, good luck.

Actually, I've always dreamt

of being able to dance.

"Flashdance", that film was called...

It changed my life forever.

A film on the dance,

on learning to dance,

while all I can do is watch,

which is also nice,

but it's a completely different thing.

Want to know what my dream is?

My dream has always been

to learn how to dance.

I haven't been the same anymore,

after watching that film

"Flashdance", with Jennifer Beals.

Is that dancer down there

Jennifer Beals?

No.

I envy them so much!

Are you Jennifer Beals?

No.

Spinaceto, a district

which has been built recently.

One never names it

but to say bad things about it.

"Alright, but we aren't

in Spinaceto here!"

"But where do you live?

In Spinaceto?".

I remember

that once I even read a script

called:

"Escape from Spinaceto".

It was about a boy

who escaped from his district and from home

...and never came back.

And so, let's go

to Spinaceto.

I thought that

Spinaceto was worse.

- But it's not bad at all. Bye.

- You're right, I was...

Bye.

Casalpalocco.

Passing by these houses,

I smell the odour of the tracksuits

which are worn here instead of the suits,

...of videotapes and watchdogs

in the gardens

and precooked pizzas

in their cardboard boxes.

But why did they come here

thirty years ago?

Excuse me!

Why did you

come to live here?

But look how green,

how calm here is.

It's green, but I'm sure

that you came here...

...30 years ago. In 1961?

'62.

Thirty years ago Rome

was a beautiful town...

But here is different.

Yes, is it different,

but Rome was beautiful, understand?

That's what frightens me:

dogs behind the gates,

videotapes, slippers...

Jennifer Beals?

Jennifer Beals? Jennifer Beals?

- Jennifer Beals?

- Yes?

- Of "Flashdance"?

- Yes.

What has he said?

"Who are you".

You know,

I wish I could dance...

But if I lived

in Emilia Romagna..

where centres for the elderly,

and hospitals which work are,

and structures, services,

and schools of dance,

...tango, merengue,

cha-cha, mambo..

when I listen to the music

I would dance,

instead of watching others dance.

Those shoes

look very comfortable,

so simple and yet...

they must be comfortable.

Yes, very much.

What have you said? Crazy?

No, no.

Wasn't it "crazy"?

No, I have said "off".

And what does it mean?

It means "special", "peculiar",

almost crazy, but not crazy yet.

Almost stupid.

Also when I'm in other cities,

the only thing that I like to do

is look at the houses.

How beautiful

a film about houses would be...

"A view on the houses".

Garbatella, 1927.

Villaggio Olimpico, 1960.

Tufello, 1960.

Vigne Nuove, 1987.

Monteverde, 1939.

HENRY:
PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER

A FILM BY JOHN McNAUGHTON

You're stuttering, arent' you?

Out 50 dollars and go to hell!

Here is your 50 dollars.

Can I help you, people?

Otis, do you need help,

or you think you can make it alone?

I wander about for a while

trying to remember

who told me this film was good.

I had read

a review in a paper,

something positive on "Henry".

Suddenly I remember

and find that article,

and I want to copy it

to my diary. Here it is:

..."Henry kills people,

but he's almost a good person,

"he doesn't speak much,

he'd rather act.

"His friend Otis

is a pig instead.

"Henry is solid for his victims,

"he's the blue-blooded prince

of annihilation,

"and promises them

a compassionate death. Otis doesn't.

"The director

pushes the audience

"into an even worse kind of nightmare,

with a final shower of splatter.

"Pierced Eyes,

tortured flesh, abomination.

"Henry is perhaps

the first to scorn

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