Carrington Page #3

Well...

Won't you spoil me, just this once?

Tonight?

(Dora crying softly)

(car engine)

I come bearing gifts.

- Oh, globes!

- Looted from Mother.

Oh, what a hero! If I were bigger,

I'd carry you over the threshold.

Well done.

Oh, don't go in there.

The pipes seized up. Then they burst.

- Good God.

- Come upstairs.

It's remarkable.

Yes, it seems that Eminent Victorians is

about to burst upon an astonished world.

- That's marvellous, Lytton.

- And not before time.

Chatto and Windus

claim to find it enchanting.

Not absolutely the adjective

I had in mind...

My God!

What?

You're living with him.

Yes.

How could you lie to me like that?

- Did you think I wouldn't find out?

- I didn't want to hurt you.

Oh!

Do you know, when I found out,

just thinking about you

and that half-dead eunuch,

I vomited all night.

You have poisoned my life.

Haven't you any self-respect?

Not much.

But he's just a disgusting pervert!

You always have to

put up with something.

It's very bright tonight.

Do you think there'll be a raid?

(gasps)

(Carrington) Mark!

No!

Have you managed it yet? Have you?!

I'll kill him!

That was all rather thrilling.

I'll kill him!

Anything more cinematographic

could scarcely be imagined.

THREE:
PARTRlDGE 1918-1921

(singing "La donna e mobile"

from Verdi's "Rigoletto")

(Carrington) Rex Partridge,

the man I was telling you about,

is coming down to see us on Friday.

After the war, he plans to sail

a schooner to the Mediterranean islands,

and trade in wine,

and dress like a brigand.

- You mean that you enjoy it?

- Well, no, it's not that I enjoy it.

Of course not. But it does seem

a good deal more real over there.

And it's a relief to get out of range

of all those Bolsheviks and malingerers,

who spend all their time complaining

about subjects they know nothing about.

- If you mean conscientious objectors...

- I do. That's exactly what I mean.

Only I call them skulkers.

A lot of them are prepared

to suffer for their beliefs.

- Bertie Russell's in jail.

- Best place for him, I dare say.

Anyway, he's better off there

than in the trenches, isn't he?

- That's not the point.

- Of course it is.

What are you supposed to do

if you're a pacifist? What?

- What would you suggest?

- What would I suggest?

I'd suggest they were

put up against a wall and shot.

That's what I'd suggest.

- I'm so sorry.

- What for?

I thought you'd like him.

- What do you mean?

- I'm sorry he was so awful.

Oh, but I thought he was wonderful.

"Thanks to the brilliancy of his style,

Eminent Victorians is a fascinating book."

I suppose this is what's meant

by the phrase "to wake up famous".

Chatto say the book is selling so well,

they're forced to consider a reprint.

That's bad luck, isn't it?

There.

I can't claim it was my intention

to destroy Victorian values,

but if that's what I've done,

I'm not in the least sorry.

It seems I am in distinct danger

of becoming a man of means.

Oh.

A terrible review by Gosse.

I can't tell you what a relief it is

to be denounced at last.

It hasn't been easy remaining calm in the

face of praise from the Daily Telegraph.

The curse of it all is, I can't see how to

get out of writing another book. Can you?

I don't know why you're so good to me.

It's a constant mystery.

- That's how I feel, Lytton.

- Hm?

You must always remember that.

I'm your pen wiper.

I know it was an obscene

and ridiculous war,

but I suppose it's

quite convenient to have won.

Now we shall see

some real progress, Lytton.

We're on the threshold of a golden age.

You know, Ottoline,

given the circumstances,

I really think we ought to dance.

Very well.

I wish he'd worn his pullover.

To look at him, you wouldn't

think he'd written that book.

- Why not?

- I read it the other day.

Couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

(Lytton) "Cardinal: I'll leave you.

Ferdinand:
Nay, I have done. "

"l am confident, had I been damn'd in hell,

and should have heard of this,

it would have put me into a cold sweat. "

"ln, in, I'll go sleep."

"Till I know who leaps my sister,

I'll not stir."

"That known, I'll find scorpions

to string my whips,

and fix her in a general eclipse."

"Exeunt."

I've been meaning to tell you,

I can't say I really approve of Rex.

- What do you mean?

- As a name.

That's not my real name.

- My real name is Reginald.

- Ah.

Myself, I'm very much in favour of Ralph.

Ralph Partridge.

Rrrrralph Partridge.

Sounds very fine. Don't you agree?

Ralph.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I seem to be in rather a... flux.

(Lytton) It's really not fair.

Why aren't I a rowing blue,

with eyes to match?

(Carrington) But his conversation's

so dull. He's like a Norwegian dentist.

(Lytton) I suppose your privileges

give you the right to judge.

Oh, I don't know

what the world's coming to.

Women in love with buggers and

buggers in love with womanisers.

- And what with the price of coal...

- (chuckling)

Do you think your major would stay more

often if you had a more comfortable bed?

Your bed's all right.

Let me put it another way.

I wish he would stay more often.

When you go up to London...

Hm?

Who do you see?

Well, nobody you know.

Yes, but who?

I like to keep a bit of privacy

in my life. You know?

And...

if you're going to

cross-examine me all the time,

that seems very much like jealousy,

and I don't believe in that.

If you don't believe in it, why should you

mind telling me who you see in London?

- (Lytton) Yes, but will I like him?

- Gerald? I don't see why not.

As long as you don't frighten him.

- I can't imagine what you mean.

- Well, he's shy.

I used to take him

to the brothel in Amiens.

He always used to wait downstairs

or slope off to look at the cathedral.

You must be Gerald Brenan.

- Miss Carrington?

- Carrington.

Rex - that is to say, Ralph -

tells me you're a Bolshevik.

He tells me you're an idealist.

- I'm going to look for a house in Spain.

- (Lytton) Why?

- To educate myself.

- Unlikely reason.

I'm too old for university. I must do

something to repair my ignorance,

- so I'm eloping with 2,000 books.

- Why Spain?

- Because it's hot and cheap.

- True.

- And the women are beautiful.

- Sounds worse and worse.

Oh, my God. Here, help me.

Got you.

(chuckling)

You mustn't believe everything

Ralph tells you about me.

- Why do you say that?

- He invents everyone he meets.

You must have noticed.

He gives them a character and a set

of opinions so he can argue with them.

I suppose you're right.

I don't mean to attack Ralph.

He's my closest friend.

But he lives entirely by his instincts,

and I can't do that.

I wish I could.

You're going off to live in Spain

following your instincts.

Not really.

I'd say it was very calculated.

It has to be.

You mean money?

I'm told you can rent a house

there for five pounds a year.

Whereabouts in Spain are you going?

No idea.

- I have a map.

- (chuckles)

- Well, I hope you'll write to me.

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