Casper: A Spirited Beginning Page #4

Great kid, crummy dad.

No, no, no. Shivery shrieks

have gotta come from deep inside you.

Six feet under. Try again.

Go sit down. That "boo" stuff wouldn't

even give a fleshie goose bumps.

I'm doing the best I can.

By George, he's got it!

Sorry. I sat on a rusty spring.

Oh, forget it, you guys.

We've been at it all day.

Possession, flying, shape-changing,

dismemberment.

Casperjust ain't gettin' it.

- But I'm trying my hardest.

- Sure, kid, but you got no style.

It's cos your motives are all wrong.

Basically, you don't wanna scare humans.

- Well, what's wrong with being nice to them?

- I'm not hearing this.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Now look what you've done.

You're breathin' life into him.

Look, little guy. We know deep down inside

you're really gruesome and horrible.

But we're just not seein' it.

Besides, if you don't learn,

it makes us look bad.

- I'll work harder.

- Sorry, runt.

We've come to a parting of the waves.

There's no place in this world

for a friendly ghost.

- Get lost!

- Get going!

Get a life!

I know, I know. I'm late.

I'm gonna grab a bite at work.

Chris.

Chris.

- Chris, what's the matter?

- You totally missed my open house.

- Was that last night?

- I was the only kid there without a parent.

Buddy, I'm so sorry.

Look, the mayor's

pressuring me hard right now and...

Everything's more important than me.

I'm gonna make it up to you, pal.

Do you know what today is?

Do you know what today is?

It's wild-and-crazy-guy day!

- Yeah, right.

- Yes, it is.

Says it right here. You and I are supposed

to have a guys-only sit-down dinner.

- With no interruptions?

- You read my mind.

Honest?

And later you and I

are going to the batting cage,

- and this time I'm gonna beat you.

- Yes!

- Deal?

- Deal!

- Gotta go.

- Wait.

Since you didn't show up last night,

I've had to set up another meeting for today.

You know, a parent-teacher one, at four.

Four? But I have...

Chris, buddy, you can count on me.

- See you later, alligator.

- Don't forget! Four o'clock.

Yes!

Yeah!

Yeah, well, I'm glad one of us is happy.

Hey, Casper. Did you hear? Dad and I

are going to the batting cage tonight.

Then it's good I stopped by now.

I just got the boot.

So I'm leavin' town for good.

- You can't leave. What's wrong?

- Oh, I'm a lousy ghost.

No, you're not. You know

how to go into stealth mode.

Big whoop. That's the only trick I know.

- Didn't the trio help you?

- Nah. They dumped me.

Seems I'm too nice to learn anything.

So I'm not a human, I'm not a ghost.

- I'm a nothing.

- Stop it.

If those three losers won't help you,

then I will.

- Why waste your time?

- Cos you're my pal.

- I am? Really?

- Yeah. And buds gotta help each other.

You couldn't help a dead alien fall over.

Very funny, marshmallowhead.

- The coast is clear.

- Are you sure about this?

Come on. I'm gonna teach you

how to be a ghost, even if it kills you.

- No offense.

- Sure. Pick on the living-impaired.

We'll skip over the section on scaring

and stick with the basics.

Lesson one - going through walls.

Hey, no problem. I've got that wired.

- Watch!

- Wait!

I think you're gonna need this

right about now.

What? What'd I say?

A ghost!

Yep. This must be the place.

Help! I need you!

Right now!

- Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

- So how'd I do?

A for enthusiasm, but D minus for control.

Follow me.

Hi.

Hurry up. It's stuffy in here.

Quiet, Casper.

You need to clean this thing out.

Quit complaining.

That was lesson two - changing shapes.

You're right. Thanks, teach.

OK. Lesson three - invisibility.

I know that one already.

Yeah, but now I want you

to carry something heavy as well.

- Try picking up that blue book.

- You got it.

A ghost taking lessons

from a human? The horror!

Casper!

Sorry.

Chris, I'm surprised at you. Books are

our friends. You must treat them nicely.

- I'm sorry.

- Sorry. That was me.

- Be more careful.

- If I'm invisible, I can't see where I'm going.

Sh! This is a library.

Who are you talking to, space cadet?

Your imaginary pals?

That's only cos daydreamers

don't have any real friends.

Don't you have some place to go,

like detention?

Come on, guys. Let's go.

He's not bothering us.

You think you're so smart, don't ya?

- Freak.

- Brock's talkin' to ya, geek.

Yeah, geek.

You'd better watch out.

- They say this library is haunted.

- By who? Ernest Hauntingway?

No. William Shakespook.

I can't see! Get this off!

This is some sort of trick, right?

Darn right. He's messin' with us.

- What?

- Excuse me.

- Brock, I think you should chill off.

- Make me, runt.

Earth to butthead, you're clear for takeoff.

You're a regular rocketman!

Stop it! Get the thing off! Please, help!

Stop! Stop!

There I was, reading my editorial section -

where I always do -

when all of a sudden it appeared before me.

Oh, man!

Come on.

- This is going on your permanent record.

- But there was a ghost and...

Nothin' like overkill.

He had it coming.

This is going on his permanent record.

Way to go, Casper! I think you're ready

for the big time. High-five, bud.

Yeah. I wanna go out and try my new powers.

Happy haunting!

Yes!

- I'm sorry.

- I think I lost him.

You must be Bill Case.

Hi, I'm Tim Carson. Nice to meet you.

Ditto. So what kind of ordnance

are you lookin' for here?

Fragmentation grenades,

C-4 explosives, missiles,

plastique, TNT, cherry bombs?

Help me out here!

I don't know.

This oughta do the trick.

You can detonate this with a plunger

or a timer or a simple open flame.

- That isn't real, is it?

- Affirmative.

- Is that the target there?

- Yeah. This is it.

Very few problems can't be solved with

a suitable application of high explosives.

Tomorrow that place will be bite-size.

- Do you think you could put this out, please?

- Don't worry about that.

Doesn't go boom without this.

- See that? Harmless as a steak knife.

- Except one thing. My office is on fire!

- Damage control. Drop and roll.

- Aren't you trained in this? Put it out!

Now that I'm a real ghost I gotta

try out my new talents on someone.

If I can scare him, I can scare anyone.

Here goes.

- Hello. How may I help you?

- This is a stickup. Open it up!

- A g-g-ghost!

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

Hey, wait! Look, I know you're a ghost,

but you just saved my life!

- Thank you!

- Really?

Sure! How about some jerky?

He likes me!

Wow, this is great!

Finally, I feel so alive!

Miss Fistergraff? Hi.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes