Cat Run Page #2

experience...

- "We?"

... equipment, all kinds of capital.

- You said "we".

- No, absolutely not.

Ten, twenty grand for start-up

costs.

I don't have money.

- What about the trust fund?

- Absolutely not.

I'm trying hard

to keep my family out of my life.

- At least you have a family.

- Stop it.

I was raised by African fruit bats.

Don't play

the African fruit bat card.

Can I play the best friend card?

In ninth grade, you helped the Dean's

wife find her husband's diary.

Then she shot him in the face.

- So the answer's no?

- I'm in Eastern f***ing Europe.

I left the States three years ago,

which was your idea.

I remember.

It was to get away from my family.

Why? Because I like to cook.

And be alone. That's it.

Well, you got your wishes.

Nobody comes to the restaurant

to eat.

Just wish to never get laid

and all three wishes will be up.

Anthony?

Mm?

Can I get a glass of water?

No, you're gonna piss on my couch.

I know I told you

to get away from your family,

go travel, live your life,

but you're here

just hiding from the world, man.

I need you in on this.

And you need to live your life.

So, you in on this, man?

You going to get with me?

Come on, man, be a dick.

All right.

If it doesn't work,

you're waiting tables.

- We're gonna do this?

- I'm with you.

- We can! Yes, we can!

- We'll try.

Come on, you feel me!

My boy! Bros before hos.

- I don't have any hos.

- That's on my list.

You gonna get some hos.

It's, er, wait.

"Bonjour". It's right here.

Come on, here we go.

This is it.

Oh, yes!

Yes! Dude, that's Santa Claus.

They're showing

Christmas movies.

A porno theatre.

Our office is in a porno theatre.

Dude, you think Ben and Jerry

started in a high rise creamery?

No, not at all. They had

one big spoon, one bucket,

in the back of a VW van,

creaming in their pants.

Ground up, Anthony, ground up.

Hey, you wanna watch the movie,

you need to buy a ticket.

Er, let's see.

We're looking for a... Boden.

Ah, Boda? It's me.

Come on, guys, come on.

This is your office.

You make here much money.

You have all you need here.

Big desk, free porno.

Careful, careful. Boards rotten.

Here, you can put the papers.

And this is very important place.

You can wash here or piss here.

Everybody must piss, yes.

500 of month, but, er,

for you, because I like your face,

I give to you for four, OK?

We'll take it.

Good guys.

- Yes.

- Come on, pay him.

- Er, yes, come on.

- You ready to wait tables?

Ground up, ground up.

- You make here big success.

- Ah.

- Enjoy.

- Thank you.

So we have

an uninhabitable hovel

overlooking

a Santa Claus snuff film.

What's next?

Staff.

You know,

I was in Army language school.

I speak five different languages.

- Um, do you mind if we ask, Mr...

- Call me Dexter.

OK, er, Dexter, um, how did you?

Well, I mean,

were you born like this?

- He was in the Army.

- Oh. Oh, no.

Shortly after I was discharged,

my wife and I

were vacationing in Florida,

and we were involved

in a shark attack.

Um, so that's how you lost?

- Oh, no, shark ate my wife.

- Oh, God.

Have you ever seen somebody

you love eaten alive slowly,

one bite at a time?

Er, he didn't eat her whole?

Oh, they found her hole. And

a piece of her ass on the beach.

Just an empty thong

and a broken dream.

You know,

that hits you kinda hard.

I started drinking

and using intravenous drugs.

Lost my arm through

an abscess caused by a dirty needle.

I reached rock bottom

about five years ago.

I was living on the streets

and begging and eating pet food.

Finally, I just threw myself

under a subway train,

and landed on the rails,

and well, that train just, whoosh!

Popped my legs clean off.

Well, listen,

you seem remarkably positive.

I thank God every day

for what happened to me.

You know, my accident,

well, it brought me to the Lord.

I stopped drinking and drugging.

I promised myself

that I would make the most

out of every single opportunity

that life afforded me.

OK, well, I guess, um,

practically speaking, could you

fill some of the requirements?

You see that phone over there?

Ring! Ring!

And I make

a great cup of coffee, too.

Well, when can you start?

Give me a little nub.

Hello?

Daniel Carver? This is Cat.

Cat, where are you?

I'm so glad you're alive.

- How did you get my number?

- I copied Ryder's address book.

How very industrious.

So what is this about?

Wanted to touch base?

I have your hard drive, OK?

If you don't call off your dogs,

that movie of your boss will be

the most-watched video

on YouTube.

Turn off the f***ing music!

Oh!

You can't get anything

off that hard drive.

It's got military encryption.

It's gonna purge itself like

a Russian farm worker on Easter.

I took it to an expert.

He figured it out.

Never lie to grown-ups.

I'm old enough

to be your sugar daddy.

And I'll find you.

I'll find you by the pm.

F***.

I found a car.

Someone left it on the street.

I could get 300- 400 Euros for it,

I'm sure.

I don't know whose it is, don't care.

Away! Away from the car!

Away, you dirty sh*t!

I said get away from the car!

Get away from the car

What? What did you do?

Are you crazy?

- You stupid f***.

- You said to kill the driver.

No said boy or girl.

- You killed a cop?

- Yah.

You won't get paid for this.

F***ers!

Shoot him.

OK, now I'm really

annoyed with you, princess.

It's time to bring in a professional.

Plan B. As in Bingham.

- Good to see you, Helen.

- Thanks for thinking of me.

I'm always thinking of you.

- How's Maria?

- She's fine.

And Eliska?

What is she now? Three?

- Three and a half.

- How lovely.

You know Razwell?

Of course,

since he was in short pants.

Hello, Helen.

Oh, still using

Acqua di Parma, Bob?

Old habits die hard.

A real man never changes

his cologne. Shall we?

The hard drive

has a level-five encryption.

She won't be able

to get anything out of it.

And yet, you'll pay top euro

to get it back.

What's on the hard drive, Daniel?

- Baby pictures.

- Hm.

That's need-to-know, Helen.

Trust me, you don't need to know.

And the girl?

What do we know about her?

Bob?

Thank you.

Her name is Catalina Rona,

also answers to Cat.

Left her rustic, rural homeland

of Andorra looking for work,

and found her true calling

sprawling and balling.

Oh, my goodness.

What else do we know?

- Well, we know she's smart.

- And how do we know that?

- Because she's still breathing.

- Ah.

And those other girls, the ones who

weren't as smart as Catalina?

What are your plans for them?

Car crash, drug paraphernalia,

bodies burned up, local cops.

The chief is on my payroll.

Dear me. Pull!

I thought you boys

were all about change.

Oh, we have changed.

We used to be

really cold and ruthless. Pull.

Do you need a hand with that?

No, no!

Oh, I think you do.

Mr Rona?

Mr Rona,

I want to assure you, Mr Rona,

that we're just as concerned

about Catalina's disappearance

as you are.

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