Catch .44 Page #3

- Did you steal the tape?

- No, of course not.

- I told you!

- Kara, Kara! Come on.

- I told you. Did I not say it?

- Pull it together. Just for now.

- Why don't you start listening to me?

Shh! Just be cool.

Just f***ing be cool, Kara.

- Evening.

- Evening.

How are you doing there,

beautiful?

It's hot, ain't it?

I can see you sweating over there,

but you just wear it so well.

You're just as sweet

as a little daisy, ain't you?

So where are y'all headed,

way out here this time of night?

- Sorry?

- I said

where are y'all headed,

way out here this time of night?

Yeah, uh, we're just...

we're heading up to see some relatives.

A sick relative out in Chaparral.

- Chaparral?

- Yes sir.

- A relative you say?

- Mm-hmm.

All right then,

on the count of three

I want y'all to say

the name of the relative

that you're going to visit

at the same time.

One...

two, three.

Uncle Mel.

I'm just f***in' with y'all.

Y'all didn't even have to answer that.

No, seriously seriously seriously,

did it... did it get you going?

'Cause that sh*t...

that sh*t never gets old.

Can I get your license

and your registration, please?

Yeah. Um...

Actually, you know what? Um,

this is actually my brother's car,

so I don't have the registration.

But think you could help a girl out?

That's all right.

We don't really get to do this

too much way out here anyway.

- Can I ask why you pulled us over?

- Oh sh*t, I'm sorry.

Your tire is low.

I can't have you drivin' out here

with no air in your tire.

You don't wanna be changing

a tire out here in this heat.

Miss...

Miss Samantha.

Man on radio:

Now you were saying gray men...

Man #2 on radio:

That's right, Tom. The true friends

- do not come from outer space.

- Here we go.

Man #2:
I'm sorry, but from

the gray men beneath the bedrock.

It's a hollow planet, Tom.

It's inside of earth.

- It has to be.

- Man #2:
Well, you've got

your Area 51 in Nevada.

Well, I know that you've probably

not heard of Area 52.

Uh, I think I have.

That's in Hoboken, isn't it?

Man #2:
Mm-hmm.

Right underneath New Jersey.

Yeah.

I'm taking two.

Randy?

Randy?

Randy?

Are you in there?

You in there?

Randy?

Randy?

F***.

F*** me.

Elmore, pick up.

Hey, Elmore, pick up.

Elmore, it's an emergency.

Pick up.

We got a 10-27

down at Randy's stop.

Elmore, pick up.

Randy's been shot!

F*** me.

Yeah, boy, I'm telling you,

this heat out here,

it'll kill you. And me,

I just... I just wouldn't wanna

have y'all dying out here

and me having to call your mamas

and give them the tragic news.

Yep, no no, we wouldn't

want that either, Officer.

- Thank you.

- Cuidado.

Cui-da-do.

You gotta be careful out here.

Now there's a truck stop

just up the way.

I think y'all need to pull in there and

get yourself some air in these tires.

Yeah, great, will do.

Thanks, Officer. Sounds good.

In fact, I can follow behind y'all

and make sure that

you get there in one piece.

No, we're fine, Officer.

Thank you very much.

- We got it.

- Mm-hmm.

Come on now, come on.

You ain't got to call me officer.

You can call me Elmore.

- Well, Elmore, uh...

- That's my name.

Elmore.

Elmore Huggin.

As in "you hug me,

I hug you"...

it's a regular "hug in. "

- You get it?

- Mm-hmm.

Elmore...

Elmore Hug-ins.

I just crack myself up.

- Huh?

- Yes.

- It's funny.

- In fact,

you know what I'm gonna do?

I can turn on them blue and reds

and I can escort y'all if you want to.

No!

No, really.

Just following behind us would be fine.

- Are you sure about that?

- Yeah.

It could be fun though.

It could be fun.

Yeah.

Bet it could be a lot of fun,

but, you know, we're really fine.

But thank you so much.

All right.

You're the boss.

You ladies,

now you be safe now.

Great.

Thank you, Officer!

What the f***

was that all about?

Don't ask me.

This is it?

This is the big exchange point?

Are you kidding?

Tes, why are there cars here?

I thought you said this place was empty.

- Have I been here before?

- Yeah, Kara,

it's probably the late night rush.

- Tes, are you sure?

- What is with the 20 questions?

- Yes, I'm sure.

- Hey, relax.

Relax.

I was just asking.

I am relaxed.

I'm very f***ing relaxed.

Dude, don't get mad at me, all right?

This wasn't my f***ing idea.

Genius.

What do you want from me, huh?

- I don't know right now.

- No no no, I think you do.

Tell me,

what do you want from me?

I want you to acknowledge

that it's a little strange that Mel would even give us

another job

after how bad

we f***ed up the last one.

Okay?

And this is where he sends us?

I mean, call me crazy...

this doesn't feel weird to you?

- Dawn?

- Why do you do that?

- Kara:
What? What am I doing?

- That...

questioning.

How long have we

been doing this for?

- How long?

- Are you serious?

Yeah. And how many times

has Mel ever steered us wrong?

How many, Kara?

- None.

- Right, none.

So what are you

so worried about? What?

Look around, Kara.

There's nobody.

No witnesses.

It's like the easiest job

we'll ever do. All right?

In fact, it's probably why

Mel sent us here...

so we can get our sh*t

back together.

Think about it.

Hey, is Mel f***ing you yet?

- F*** you.

- F*** me?

- Yeah, f*** you for saying that.

- F*** you, Tes...

- F*** you!

- ... for bringing me all the way

out here and never

f***ing listening.

Chill, both of you!

Chill.

I don't even know what you guys

are fighting about any more,

but every time

it's like f***ing World War III.

I don't care what it is.

We have a job to do,

so not one of us is leaving this car

until we are all f***ing calm.

All right.

So there are these four nuns.

They're sitting outside

of the confessional.

The first nun goes in,

and she says "Forgive me, Father,

for I have sinned. "

And the Father goes,

"How have you sinned?"

She says, "I'm so sorry, Father,

I looked at a man's penis. "

The Father says, "Ahhh,

that's terrible. I want you to say

your eyes with holy water. "

So the nun says "Yes. "

She walks out, says her 10 Hail Marys,

up to that basin and washes

her eyes out with holy water.

Second nun goes in, says "I'm so sorry,

Father, I have sinned. Forgive me. "

The Father says

"How? How have you sinned?"

She said

"I touched a man's penis. "

So the Father goes "Ugh,

that's even worse than the last one. "

"I want you to go say 20 Hail Marys

and wash your hands with holy water. "

So the nun steps out,

she does her Hail Marys

and washes her hands

with holy water.

Suddenly there's a commotion.

And the priest comes out,

he's like "Whoa, what's going on?"

Because the two sisters...

like three and four are fighting.

He's like, "Yo yo yo, Sisters,

what happened?

What's going on?"

Fourth nun, who's been

eavesdropping, steps out and says,

"I don't care what you say, Father.

I am not washing my mouth

in that water

after she sits in it. "

Wow.

Nice one, Dawn.

- Dawn, you're retarded.

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