Catch Me If You Can Page #5

Just tell me where you're going.

Los An... Hollywood.

Hollywood.

The rest of us...

really are suckers.

so, I got on this red dress

and these high heels, right?

And I got a bra,

like, out here, okay?

And I'm chasing

these two Puerto Rican guys

through the park.

They got a suitcase filled

with bank robbery loot.

Okay, I'm screaming out,

"FBI, freeze!"

And I'm reaching for my gun,

but I can't find it in the bra.

It's so damn big

I thought I was going

to shoot my tits off.

You know, that's a funny story.

People always laugh

at that story.

Let me ask you a question,

Mr. Amdursky.

If you were having

so much fun undercover

why did you transfer

to bank fraud?

I didn't transfer.

I was censured

and reassigned.

It's like being punished.

I was punished.

I screwed up in the field.

What about you, Mr. Fox?

Were you... punished

for screwing up in the field?

Oh, no, no, no, I've never

worked in the field before.

I audited

background investigations

of Department of Justice

clerical applicants.

Well, that's just great.

I ask for a team

and they drag the bottom

of the Pacific.

You mind if I ask you

a question, Agent Hanratty?

How come you're so serious

all the time?

Does it bother you,

Mr. Amdursky?

Yeah. Yeah, it does bother me.

Does it bother you, Mr. Fox?

A little, I guess.

Well, would you like

to hear me tell a joke?

Yeah. Yeah, we'd love

to hear a joke from you.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Go f*** yourselves.

Tall and tan

and young and lovely

The girl from Ipanema...

He cashed three checks.

They all cleared.

I was going to deposit

this one today.

I don't want any trouble.

No trouble.

No trouble at all.

We'll just take this check

and be on our way.

Thank you.

Good.

Because I don't want

my customers harassed.

...Each one she passes

goes ahh...

What are you saying,

he's still here?

...Oh, but he watches

so sadly...

Thank you.

Corner here.

Oh, thanks, son.

...How can he tell her

he loves her...

some steps.

steps.

Hey, Mr. Murphy, how are you?

Is that Frank?

Yeah, it's Frank.

Hey, Frank, how are you?

How's the knee?

Come on,

I'll race you right now.

Take care.

Okay, Frank.

"Eyeball the back"?

Come on, Carl,

this guy's a pen and ink man.

A goddamn paperhanger.

He doesn't even carry a gun.

Why can't we go with you, Carl?

You just keep your eyes open,

do your job

and I'll buy you both

a Good Humor bar.

It's all right, ma'am. FBI.

FBI!

FBI!

Come out of the bathroom!

step out of the bathroom!

Hands on your head.

Oh, that's the new

IBM selectric.

Put your hands on your head.

You can change the print type

in five seconds.

- Shut up!

- Just pop out the ball.

Put your hands on your head!

Put your hands...!

You know, he's got over 200

checks here, a gallon

- Of India ink, drafting.

- Hands on your head!

Even has

little payroll envelopes

addressed to himself

from Pan Am.

Put it down! Drop it!

Relax.

You're late, all right?

My name's Allen, Barry Allen

United states secret service.

Your boy just tried

to jump out the window.

My partner has him

in custody downstairs.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

You think the FBI

are the only ones on this guy?

I mean, come on.

Come on, he's dabbling

in government checks here.

We've been following

a paper trail on this guy

for months now.

Hey, you mind taking that gun

out of my face?

Please. Really.

I mean, it makes me nervous.

Let me see some credentials.

Yeah, sure.

Take my whole wallet.

You want my gun, too?

Come over here. Take my gun.

Hey, hey, look,

just do me a favor.

Take a look outside. Look.

Look out the window.

My partner's walking him

to the car as we speak... Look.

Old guy almost pissed

in his pants

when I came through the door.

He jumped

right through the window

onto the hood of my car.

Hey, Murph?

- Yeah?

- Call the LAPD again.

I don't want people walking

through my crime scene.

I didn't expect

the secret service on this.

Don't worry about it.

Well, what's your name?

Hanratty, Carl Hanratty.

Mind if I see

some identification?

sure.

You never can be too careful

these days.

Well, tough luck, Carl.

Five minutes earlier

you would've landed yourself

a pretty good collar.

It's all right.

Ten seconds later,

and you'd have been shot.

Mind if I come downstairs

with you?

I-I got to take a look

at this guy.

sure thing.

Just, uh, do me a favor

and sit tight for a second

while I get

this evidence downstairs.

You know, I don't want

some maid walking through here

and making the bed.

LAPD should be here any sec.

Wait.

Your wallet.

You hang onto it for a minute.

I trust you.

Oh...

Yeah...

secret service.

Hey!

Oh, goddamn it!

It was stupid.

I made a stupid mistake.

Forget about it.

There are hundreds

of unknown subjects out there.

I-I can get this guy, sean.

The worst thing a paperhanger

can do is show his face.

I read the report.

six feet tall, brown hair,

This could be almost anybody.

I heard his voice, sean,

I saw his face.

There's nothing for him

to hide behind anymore.

Just be careful.

You got 12 years in.

Nobody bothers you

down on the first floor.

You practically wrote the book

on bank fraud.

That's the kind of thing

that can make you

section chief someday.

Just don't put yourself

in this type of position.

What type of position?

Position of being humiliated.

sean, would you like

to hear me tell a joke?

Yeah, sure.

Knock, knock!

so, my-my next question is,

when a pilot retires

uh, Pan Am sends them

a check every single month?

Uh, yeah, pension program

sends a check and benefits.

How much is that check for?

Uh, kid, I'm really not

in the mood for this right now.

This skywayman's

driving me crazy.

Who's the skywayman?

Ah, some nut that's flying

around the country

posing as a Pan Am pilot.

There's a column about him

in the paper today.

I keep telling them

this is not my problem.

This guy

doesn't even fly Pan Am.

Flies everybody else.

Flies United, TWA,

Continental, Eastern...

The skywayman.

Newspaper loves this clown.

They call him

"the James Bond of the sky."

Did you say...?

Bond, James Bond.

Tell me, Joan,

why does he do it?

He likes to win.

Come on, come on.

We'll be landing

in 20 minutes.

Do you want to play it easy

or the hard way?

And this isn't a tranquilizer.

Well, P*ssy, you do know a lot

more about planes than guns.

Hello, P*ssy.

Now, you're sure

this is the suit, right?

Positive.

It's the exact suit he wore

in the movie.

Okay. I'll take three.

Certainly, Mr. Fleming.

Now what you need is

one of those

little foreign sports cars

that he drives.

The look of love

Is in your eyes...

Hello.

Hi.

...The look your heart...

Haven't I seen you before?

...Can't disguise...

Maybe.

A couple years ago, I was

on the cover of Seventeen.

Yeah.

You're that model, right?

Cheryl.

Yes.

The guys used to put

your picture on their lockers.

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