Catfish

You know, if this is your

documentary, you're doing a bad job.

'Cause you're catching me when l

don't want to talk about things.

Set it up,

organize a time with me.

Put together some

materials, e-mails,

we'll get the Facebook

conversation printed out,

and we'll really

talk about it.

But do you want to be the

subject of this documentary or not?

No, l don't.

This is about Abby.

Do you want to be

the co-subject?

No, l don't see why. L don't

think l'm that interesting.

l'm making a documentary

about Abby through you.

Can you understand that?

What do you think? L'm going

to talk to Abby right now?

No, l understand.

l'm just saying.

This is an e-mail

from Abby that l got today.

"My snake Zoe died today."

l didn't even know

she had a snake.

"l kind of thought

she was sick since Sunday,

"and this morning

she was almost dead.

"By the time l got back from

school, she was really dead.

"She didn't eat her last meal, so

now l have a pet mouse named Max.

"He's sper cute."

l thought that

was really funny.

Such a positive way of

looking at things, you know?

One pet for the next.

Circle of life.

Yeah.

By the light.

You ready? Sound levels? Everything?

Yeah.

Okay. Today is April 9th,

2008, and l'm about to open...

l think the third

or fourth box, package,

that Angela,

Abby's mom, has sent me.

Let's see what we got.

l'm excited.

What are

you expecting?

l mean,

l know there's a couple...

A couple of pastel drawings that l

really like, that l've seen already.

But l think there's also some pictures

or paintings that l haven't seen.

Let's open this T-shirt first.

This is her brother's band.

"To Rel."

Oh, this is for Rel.

A little card. Do you want to

open it, Rel, or should l open it?

No, you can open it.

From Abby.

Go ahead and read it.

l got to open it.

The card.

l guess this is her brother's

band. The Casualties.

"To Nev. Make sure Rel wears a

brain bucket when he skateboards.

"He scares me a little.

Peace and love, Abby."

So, wear your brain bucket. All right,

now let's look at these paintings.

What's the most one of

Abby's paintings has sold for?

She sounds really nice,

and just normal,

which is a relief, because

the first time we spoke

it was just about a package

and it was short.

But...

Yeah, l mean, she's got, like,

a lot of kids running around.

Her son was plowing. They had,

like, a foot of snow yesterday,

and he knocked over a power

line that knocked into a tree.

So, they had to cut down this,

like, 150-year-old maple tree.

He burnt the transmission out on

the car. They didn't have power.

Phones that were plugged in

got surged and fried.

And she's, like,

you know, dealing with it.

She must be awesome'cause

her kids are pretty awesome,

at least from Facebook.

The Facebook family,

that's what we'll call them.

Her sister Megan is an artist,

and also a dancer,

but she isn't

making as much art...

Or only shared

this picture with me,

because l think she has

a big crush on me.

So when l put that... Made

that my Facebook profile picture,

she really liked it

and told me how nice it was,

and that she thought

how nice it would be

to put her head on my chest

and fall asleep.

So then she drew it, and it's

actually a beautiful drawing.

Yeah, it is.

lt's really good.

She works as a vet,

so she likes animals a lot.

l like animals. L'm not a crazy

animal lover, but l do like animals.

She's a musician.

l think she plays the cello,

maybe also the guitar,

and she sings.

l'm not really a musician, but l

guess you could say that we have

a similarity there.

'Cause l... Whatever.

She's a dancer.

She takes ballet, other... l

think she does belly dancing.

Again, not that l

do either of those,

but dance is

a big part of my life.

l mean...

l guess l don't know

that much about her yet.

Hey, Megan?

Hey, it's Nev.

Your voice is not at

all what l expected.

No, no... lt's... lt's...

Really, it's a terrific voice, l just...

l don't know, l guess you

never really think of a voice

when you only know somebody

in a certain way.

l happen to think my voice

is sort of irritating.

Thank you.

So, if you're home now,

does that mean you're, like,

at home with your mom and Abby

and the whole family?

She's there, and she wants

to know who you're talking to?

Well, you should tell her.

l've spoken to your mom.

New package from Michigan.

Really big, 35 pounds.

And l'm going to check it out.

l'm really excited.

l was told that they had

used paper towels to pack.

Now we've got not some,

but tons of paper towels.

What's the reason

for this new package?

Just new paintings. L don't

know. Let's see what we got.

Here we go. This is cool.

This is the painting of Angela that

she did, which is actually really good.

That's the mom?

Yeah.

Now?

Yeah.

Wow.

l know.

She's hot.

She is very attractive.

You know what l just learned?

That Abby puts

a strand of her hair

in every oil painting

that she does

because she wants to be able

to prove that it's hers by DNA.

Like, whenever, down the line.

She also spits in her watercolors.

These are the prints.

How many of them?

Here's the original.

This is... Jesus.

Well, they're

making money from them.

They sold all the art,

they sold out.

To local collectors.

A lot of paper towels.

All right, amazing package.

Okay, l'll be back.

What do you think?

lt's okay. L like it.

Megan's singing backup vocals.

This is

a really cinematic...

l mean,

that's a no-brainer, right?

l'm not sure who posted

it, but Alex sent me a message.

"Why? L have no idea. L doubt

you'll appreciate it one bit."

Jeez.

l know.

And now, this is interesting.

l don't know what this is about,

but l just see that Angela,

the mom, wrote on Alex's wall,

"You really need to

stay out of it, please."

Now, l don't know, that could be

in reference to something else,

but l feel like that's

probably in reference to...

l mentioned to Megan

that he had sent me a message.

Last night we had a great

talk. She told me about...

Did you guys know this? Chickens.

She has six chickens now.

Her neighbor gave them to her

as a house-warming present.

A chicken makes an egg every

day. Did you know that? Every day.

Like ovulating.

They ovulate eggs.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Every day?

Every day

a chicken makes one egg.

She has chickens?

She now has chickens.

Tell us

the gifts she got.

So, she bought a house,

and one of the presents was

that Abby got her a baby goat.

So she's got a goat now. She

has horses that live there.

Part of buying the house came with

these horses that are held there,

you know, like stables.

l can't.

Nothing.

You don't want this.

l'm pretty good.

l'm good.

l'm sure he is.

Bye.

How long have you been

calling each other "babe"?

A couple of weeks.

Two weeks maybe.

So you're full-on going out?

This is a long distance relationship?

No, we're not. We're not.

But, you know,

if we met each other

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