Cats & Dogs Page #2

A little story for me, perhaps?

You! Tell me, is the game afoot?

Yes?

-Why is the game afoot?|-I mean, no.

Ah, excellent.

So the puppy is dead.|Now we can move on to--

Wait, wait.

Can I change my answer?

Is the puppy alive or not?

Another dog told him it was a bomb.

Another dog?

Anyway, I am sure we'll get into the|basement lab just fine. Right, guys?

-Guys!|-Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.

-Absolutely.|-See?

Project Dark Cloud should go down|without a hitch.

Dark Cloud?|Is that what I'm calling my plan?

Not that I know of.|No, you're calling it. . . .

-How about Storm!|-Dark Storm.

Dark Storm, yes.

Yes. Like a powerful, dark storm. . .

. . .I will make my presence|known to the world.

. . .and make them quake in fear|at the very mention of my name!

Mr. Tinkles!

-Hide!|-Quickly!

Where are you?

Hide!

There you are, Mr. Tinkles.

I've been looking everywhere for you.|Where have you been?

Mr. Mason will be so pleased|to see you.

I'll take you to him.

You're a stinky kitty.

First you have to have a bath.

Mr. Tinkles, don't forget|to wash behind the ears!

If I'm going to be a secret agent,|I should have a better name.

He's a pro wrestler.|That name's taken.

Then "Doom Machine" it is.

You can call yourself|Squicky the Space Dog for all I care.

That don't make your behind|a rocket pack.

You are not an agent,|but you are going to help us.

So first things first.|Kid, pay attention.

History 101 :

Dogs have always been|man's best friend.

I'm sure even you know that.

But cats, they're another story.

Peek, start with ancient Egypt.

We've seen that 5 billion times.

Okay. Never mind.|Sorry. Here goes.

Ancient Egypt.

See these hieroglyphics?

Humans read them and say that|ancient people worshiped cats.

An evil cat named Shen-Akh-Akumon made|them build pyramids, monuments. . .

. . .and treated them like they|were his litter box.

Things were terrible.

This is the best part.

So the dogs,|being man's best friend, rose up.

And put them down.

With humans being back on top, we|took our natural place at their side.

And the people just forgot?

Remember, they're a very|primitive species.

Can't sense earthquakes, smell fear.

Heck, they can't even take|responsibility for their own farts.

Gross.

Guilty.

I'll get the fence.

That's how our outfit got started.

Sometimes a rogue cat gets too big for|his coat and thinks he can take over.

Our mission's to keep the cats from|the lab until he finishes the formula.

-Anything weird, call us on the collar.|-Yes, sir!

-Any questions?|-Just one, sir.

-Shoot.|-What's ancient Egypt?

Freeze, cat.

I'm an agent.

I'm so fast, I can't see myself.

Agent Doom Machine. That's right.

Watch out, cat.|I couldn't even see it.

There's a good puppy. Hello!

Don't get scared. Don't get scared.

Look how good you're being.|Look how good.

Where's that--? There. I got it.

This won't hurt a bit.

Let's see. Let's see.

Hey, that's good.

-Hey, Dad!|-Boils.

Want to help me practice?

No. No.

I forgot your bow.

Oh, your pretty bow.

When I rule the Earth, you will be the|first. . .

. . .on my list.

Keep your hair like that.|It's slimming.

There's room on that list for you.

No, I mean it.

We only have a few days to succeed.

Although playing pet for that sick old|man upstairs is key to my scheme. . .

. . .I cannot stand this humiliation|any longer. Am I clear?

Never mind.|The puppy won't survive the night.

Send in the ninjas.

Nervous about the tryouts tomorrow?

No.

-It's okay to be nervous.|-I'm not nervous.

I stink, but I'm not nervous.

Is he saying that because|he needs me to reassure him?

Yes. Reassure him.

You're the most wonderful,|great, charming, good looking. . .

. . .boy in the whole wide world.

-Maybe your dad could help you.|-No, I'm pretty sure he stinks too.

I'm going to talk to him.

Time for bed. Turn off the TV.

-Five minutes.|-Seven.

-Love you.|-I love you too.

Well? Hand it over.

What?! No gravy?

Next time remember the gravy.

Going someplace?

Now, let's see.

Ooh, yeah. 1409 Maple Terrace.

I got him.

Total covert operation.|Got to be like a Stealth.

Hey, Sam.

On my mark. Three, two, one.

Banzai!

Lou, it's Peek.

Lou. Are you there? It's Peek.

What? What? Where?

I'm picking up a faint signal.

Maybe it's a glitch.|You better check it out.

Okay. I'll go look.

Be careful, kid.

I'm an agent.

I'm a secret agent.

I'm a one-dog army.

Turn over.

Bug activated.

Peek? Hello? Peek?

Seems clear.

Probably just a squirrel.|I'll let Butch know.

-Butch, what do I do?|-Bite them.

What?

Just do as I say.

Left! Right paw! Again!

Roll over!

That's a good doggy. Paws up!

Donkey kick!

Come on, kid, give them the haymaker!

I changed my mind.|Call me the Claw of Ling Chow!

Ling Chow this!

Clean up on aisle 7.

Humans! Retreat with honor.

I have a bat.

I have a mitt,|and I'm not afraid to use it.

Bad dog.

You're lucky you're so cute.

-Doom Machine.|-Hey, guys.

-You're still alive.|-Yep. All five limbs.

You owe me five smoked pig ears.

You're still standing.|You all right?

Did you see me?|Right, left and right and left--

You got cocky.|You think this is a game?

This isn't about code names,|little boys, or friends.

It's about guarding that lab.|Nothing else.

Sam, Peek, seal that chimney.

Cats.

Don't they ever quit?

The Brodys have the best garbage.

-Go on. Take a bite.|-Oh, my.

This is what they get to eat?|What a gyp.

I'm glad you liked it.

-I thought I was a stray too long.|-Stray? Cool.

I've never met a stray.

Actually, I prefer|"domestically challenged."

Miss Challenged, sorry,|but you gotta leave.

-My orders are clear. I can't-| -Orders?

Yep. I'm a secret agent.

An agent?

You're small for an agent.|Shouldn't you be having fun?

I don't have time.

Tough guy.

Stop with the agent stuff. Okay?

You have your own kid to play with.|Don't take it for granted.

Where you going?|Could you do that again?

Next time the boy talks to you,|tilt your head and perk your ears.

You'll see what I'm talking about.

And do me a favor.|Tell Butch Ivy's back in town.

What're you looking at?

I guess you're kind of cute.

Look who it is. I got you.

Last night your mother and I|had a conversation. . .

. . .that made me think that maybe. . .

. . .you and I should talk. . .

. . .about you and me|and my big project.

You want to sit down?

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.

Your mom made me think that. . . .

Well, I'm coming to your|soccer tryout this afternoon.

No, you don't have to.

But. . . .

Really?

Okay.

Yeah! Okay.

-Oh, good. Cool. Cool.|-Cool.

You don't want to be late for school.

Yeah, I am.

-See you, Dad.|-See you.

Go, go, go! I'll be cheering for you!

Our team is red-hot|Your team ain't doodly-squat

I stunk. Worse than stunk.

Scotty? Have you seen this little--

Tryouts!

Wow. He really does stink.

Guess it didn't go so well, huh?

What did the coach say?

He said tryouts for the girls' team|are on Monday.

-Soccer.|-I'm in the middle--

-Soccer.|-No, thank you. I must get--

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