Cavalcade Page #5

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- Ellen. Dear Ellen.

I'm so very, very sorry.

I quite understand, quite.

I'll come and see you again soon.

You drunken great brute!

You shut your mouth.

You mind your business, and I'll mind mine.

Look here, old man. You better come up

- and have a lay down.

- Leave me alone!

Lot of snobs, that's what.

- Lot of blasted snobs!

- Now! Now!

Oh, I'm not good enough

to be at home when the quality comes.

Oh, no! I'll show you who's good enough!

I shall never be able

to hold my head up again.

Never! Never!

Oh, who give Fanny that doll?

Her noble ladyship, I suppose.

Well, we don't want none of her blasted

charity around here. Get out!

- (SCREAMS)

- Come here!

No, let go! Let go!

Come on up here. You're going upstairs.

That's what you're going to do.

You're coming right up here.

Blasted snobs!

(SOBBING)

She was right. She was right.

Time changes many things.

(SOBBING)

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

- (MUSIC CONTINUES)

- (INAUDIBLE YELLING)

(INAUDIBLE ARGUING)

(CHATTERING)

(WOMEN SCREAMING)

Running out of the house like that,

swearing before Fanny and hurting my leg.

He needs a lesson, a good lesson.

- That's right, a good lesson.

- All right. That's all right.

Look here, Ellen. Alf will tell you

how sorry he is when he gets back.

Hey, Mrs. Bridges,

I think you'd better come.

Alf's met with an accident.

He hurt bad?

Yes.

Stand back, all of you.

Alf. Alf! Alf!

(SCREAMS, SOBBING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MAN SINGING)

You've got to settle down

You save up all the money you can

Till someone comes around

Then away you go

To a spot you know

Where the cockerel shells are found

Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside

I do like to be beside the sea

I do like to stroll along

the prom, prom, prom

Where the brass bands play

tiddly-om-pom-pom

So let me be beside the seaside

And I'll be beside myself with glee

There are lots of girls besides

I would like to be beside

Beside the seaside

Beside the sea

I do like to be beside the seaside

I do like to be beside the sea

I do like to stroll along

the prom, prom, prom

Where the brass bands play

tiddly-om-pom-pom

So let me be beside the seaside

And I'll be beside myself with glee

There are lots of girls besides

I would like to be beside

Beside the seaside

Beside the sea

Ladies and gentlemen...

And kiddies...

I am happy to be able to announce to you

the winner of this week's

song-and-dance competition.

It is... ls... ls...

None other than little Miss Fanny Bridges.

Come on up here.

It gives me great pleasure to present

you with this magnificent prize,

a souvenir of Uncle George

and His Merry, Merry Men.

(SCREAMS, SOBBING)

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

to conclude our program,

Uncle Dick will sing

Take Me Back To Yorkshire.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Give us a loose leg.

Take me back to Yorkshire

Any girl's face will do

Drop me down in any old town

Ease back with a ship in Halifax

Take me back to Yorkshire

I'll be glad as a good little lad

And I'll never leave Yorkshire again

(CHILD CONTINUES SCREAMING)

JANE:
Edward.

- We're going down on the beach.

- Oh, Lord.

We have to, dear.

Your father's going to join us there.

Yes, I know, darling. He has strong nerves.

But he doesn't need

a whole deputation of us to meet him.

Edith and I are going to

the concert on the east pier.

Concert? How loathsome.

Nobody's asking you, my little man.

You just take your spade and your

bucket and have a nice little paddle.

- EDITH:
Oh, Edward.

- Come along, Edith.

You don't mind, Mummy?

Of course not, darling.

Do just what you like.

Are those two children

getting romantic by any chance?

- Romantic? They're absolutely pathetic.

- Oh, Joey, behave.

Oh, but, Mum, can't you see they've gone

completely dippy about each other?

Why, it seems only yesterday they were

quarreling over their toys in the nursery.

I wonder if Joey's right.

- Would you mind?

- Jane, dear, of course not.

- Would you?

- My son and your daughter?

Darling, you know I'd be delighted.

Well, if we're ever gonna meet Father...

- Oh, yes, we mustn't keep him waiting.

- Come along.

Why, Ellen, what a surprise.

Oh, milady, fancy you being here.

- How do you do, Ellen'?

- How do you do, ma'am?

- Hello, Ellen.

- Oh, Master Joe.

Oh, you have grown.

I got your letter, milady,

when my Alfred died.

It was kind of you to write, I'm sure.

We were so sorry.

- I hope your business affairs are...

- Oh, quite all right, milady.

I kept on the place.

I left my manager in charge.

We're just only here to give Fanny

a holiday.

(CHUCKLES)

She goes to dancing academy now.

She won this prize today for dancing.

- Oh, it's lovely.

- Not half good enough, if you ask me.

- Dances like Pavaliver, that child.

- Dances like who?

Pavaliver, the Russian dancer.

Don't be so ignorant.

Oh, she wants to go on the stage,

I suppose.

- Oh, Jane darling, there you are.

- Oh, hello, dear.

Oh, Sir Robert.

- Why, Ellen, how are you?

- Quite well. Thank you, sir.

- Grand.

- This is my cousin, Mr. Grainger.

- How do you do?

- And his wife.

How are ya? I never met you before,

- but I met your missus, all right.

- Oh, yes.

I don't think she told me.

Why, it was the day poor old Alf popped off.

(GIGGLING)

I do believe you'd rather be

at that revolting concert

on that peculiarly hideous pier

listening to Mendelssohn's Spring Song

or a great beefy contralto

singing Sweet And Low.

I adore contraltos.

I love Sweet And Low. And I simply

worship Mendelssohn's Spring Song.

What are your other vices?

Oh, sitting on boats

with cynical young men

and looking far out to sea.

Oh, but, Edith,

I am not a cynic, only a realist.

Look, big steamer.

EDWARD:
Bearing her precious

human freight

to the farthest flung

outposts of the Empire.

Don't laugh.

I'd love to be on board. Wouldn't you?

Together?

- Perhaps.

- We'll be seasick.

- Hideously.

- Oh, everyone is.

- What?

- Seasick hideously.

Horrors.

All the same, I'd risk it.

Would you? Together?

On the loveliest ship in the world.

And the most wonderful

honeymoon in the world.

Oh, Edward, darling...

Edith, I'm so terribly in love with you.

(AIRPLANE APPROACHES)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Look! Blriot flying the Channel.

He's done it!

(WALTZ PLAYING)

- it's getting colder, isn't it'?

- Well, that's to be expected in mid-ocean.

We're nearing the banks of Newfoundland.

- Would you like to go in?

- No. It's all right.

(WALTZ CONTINUES)

- EDITH:
Too big, the Atlantic. Isn't it?

- EDWARD:
Far too big.

- EDITH:
Ooh, and too deep.

- EDWARD:
Oh, much, much too deep.

EDITH:
I don't care a bit. Do you?

(CHUCKLES) Not a scrap.

Wouldn't it be awful

if a magician came to us and said,

"Unless you count, accurately,

every single fish in the Atlantic,

- "you will die tonight."

- We should die tonight?

How much would you mind...

Dying, I mean?

Oh, I don't know. A good deal, I expect.

I don't believe I should mind so very much.

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