CB4 Page #2

Us? Us?

They weren't shooting at us.

They were shootin' at me.

I could've died today. It'd have gone

down as a simple-ass drive-by.

- You know sh*t about Cell Block 4.

- No. That's not true.

- I know you guys are...

- You got lots of tape?

Good.

Cos I'm gonna

let you in on something.

OK, fine.

But keep it tight. I do the narrations.

All my life

I wanted to be a rapper.

About four years ago...

# Four or five niggaz in a mothership

# Better known as a goose

And we all wanna smother sh*t

# Bent, front and back glass got tint

# Tryin' to get our hands

on some dollars and cents...

- Turn that music down!

- Come on, Pops.

- I already got it on one.

- Put it on negative one.

Make us both happy and turn it off.

I like this music. I like what

it's about. I like the way it sounds.

Albie, I don't understand

this gangster-rap attitude

you're so fascinated with.

Why don't we listen to Lenny Kravitz?

It's just music. You act

as if I was plannin' a drive-by.

I'm gonna drive by and whip your ass

if you don't turn that music down.

Why ain't you in school?

How come you home?

- It's Saturday, Pops.

- So, go look at a school.

Don't waste electricity

on that rap mess.

- But Pop!

- Don't "but" me.

I'll beat your ass in front of

your woman. No rap in my house.

In our day, they sang.

That rap ain't nothin' but talkin'.

It won't never last!

Remember black-and-white TV? Gone!

Remember eight-tracks? Gone!

Betamax? Gone.

- Look, Wackee Dee and Sun Shine.

- Oh, no!

Albertina, Alberta!

Come on in here now.

- Look.

- Ooh, that boy sure can dance.

# 'Cause I'm the wackiest,

there's no question, I can dance

# Dance in my pants and in your face

Come on, dance with me, baby.

# But I can dance

I got sun, I got shine

# Move back hard core

'cause I'm goin'for mine

# Did I mention before that I can dance

- # I'm Wackee Dee

- # Wackee Dee's in the house

- # Wack-Wackee Dee

- # Wackee Dee's in the house

# Wackee Dee's in the house

- # Let's rock and roll

- # Wackee Dee's in the house

- # I'm Wackee Dee

- # Wackee Dee's in the house...

As you can see, my loved ones

really respected my musical taste.

Was Stab Master Arson

also middle class?

Well, Otis came from

a different environment altogether.

Come on in, Albert.

We're just finishing dinner.

I knew I should've came earlier.

How are you?

- OK.

- Look, it's Albert! Hi, Albert!

What's up, Tashana,

Tawana, Tamika, Talona and Tee Tee?

Hi, Albert.

- What's up, O?

- What up, bro?

- How long is Otis gonna be out?

- 'Bout 11.00.

- He gotta help me with my homework.

- And relax my hair.

- And play me in Nintendo.

- And sew me a new dress.

- And program my computer.

- Check this out.

Get outta here.

We got stuff to do.

- Bye, Mom.

- Bye, Otis!

Leave my sisters alone.

Otis, you are the man of the house.

I gotta be, with all those sisters.

Don't worry. Tonight we're gonna have

crazy fun! Let's pick up Rip.

Rip is sick.

- You see the new En Vogue video?

- Cindy is fine!

Cindy's fine but she's not the one.

Teri's the one.

- Then Cindy's the other one, man.

- She got them eyes!

I wanna suck her like a neck bone.

I wanna suck this like a neck bone.

Correction. I wanna suck her

like a smoked neck bone.

Euripides Smalls

was Dead Mike's real name.

Rip came from a broken home which meant

he hustled for every dollar he made.

Ooh, a hustler.

A job's a job, a cheque's a cheque.

OK, call again. Thank you.

Hello, 976-FART. You fart, we smell it.

I feel so slippery.

976-SEXY

- Yo, I wanna...

- Man, let's get out of here.

Here it comes.

Ooh, yeah! Here it comes.

Yeah, give it to me,

baby. Come on, give it all to me, baby.

- Yeah, babyl

- Yeah, baby. Here it comes.

F*** you! Kiss my ass, motherf***er.

Kiss my f***in' ass.

Thank you. Call again.

Excuse me. Could you tell me

where I might find Euripides Smalls?

- Right down there.

- Thanks a lot.

976-DISS.

You're so soft and tender.

I love it when you call.

It's lovely.

All right, till tomorrow.

- What's up, kid?

- You almost ready?

Yo, this job is nasty!

Yeah, I'm lickin' your balls.

Best balls I ever had.

You got King Kong balls.

Your balls is so large...

Just big balls, I don't care.

Peace! I hate this job.

This ain't no job for no black man!

Yo, let's go down

to Gusto's, all right?

We got some problems to lick.

If you ask me,

George Jefferson was a sell-out.

He thought success

was livin' in a white man's buildin'

and disrespectin'

his African-American employees.

No, you don't understand.

The cool thing about George Jefferson

was he hated every white person he met,

unless they had a cheque for him.

Tom Willis come over,

the door slammed in his face.

But soon as somebody had a cheque for

him, "Hey, Weezie, fix him up a plate."

- Ain't I right, Otis?

- Yeah, right and tight.

That's a real role model to me.

- Do you got the tape?

- Yeah, but I'm Run.

- I'm DMC.

- Why can't I be DMC?

- Cos you Jam Master Jay.

- I'm always Jam Master.

Me and you will do DMC together,

is that all right with you?

- All right.

- Cool.

# I'm the king of rock

There is none higher

# Sucker MCs should call me sire

# To float in my kingdom

you must use fire

# I won't stop rockin' till I retire

# Now we rocked all 20 and come correct

# All cuts are on time

and rhymes connect

# Got the right to vote and we'll elect

# And other rappers can't stand us

but give us respect

- # They call us hip

- # We're gettin' 'nilla

- # They don't

- # Want chilla

# It's not Michael Jackson

and this is not Thriller

# You can't touch me

with a ten-foot pole

# And I even make the devil

sell me his soul, soul, soul...

- Fix that tape, man!

- I'm sorry.

We was jamming, man.

- We was jamming!

- Damn!

Now, we were already a rap group,

but we had no direction.

- Every week we'd go down to Gusto's...

- No. Excuse me.

Now you've got me completely scrambled

up here. I thought you were Gusto.

Chill. You'll understand

everything in a minute.

Every week we go to Gusto's

and check out open mic nights.

It was all right.

First we were the Mad Bohemians.

# We're The Bohemians

and you gotta put us on

# We're The Bohemians...

Then we did a thing

called The Bag Heads.

# The Bag Head, The Bag Heads

The Bag Heads...

Then we did a thing called

The Overweight Lovers.

# We're fat, we're fat

We're fat, we're fat...

You know, I look back

at that time as sort of paying dues.

We met people at Gusto's

who would forever change our lives.

Brothers, my name is Baa Baa Ack.

I carry the message to the black man

with me wherever I go.

I got my message right here, black man.

We don't need that back-to-Egypt sh*t.

But between these pages lies the key

to the salvation of the race.

Me myself, I am building a boat to carry

the sun people back to Africa.

If you get with the programme,

you can get on the boat.

You should stop by for additional

spiritual instruction.

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