Celeste & Jesse Forever Page #3

I gotta go home.

After the show, it's the after-party.

I know, but she's got an IKEA dresser

she needs me to help her "build."

Oh, it's like that?

I told you, man,

she just needed a little bit more time.

I got this.

Oh, she's about to get it.

I'm in here. F*** Sweden.

What up?

It's easier to build the Brooklyn Bridge.

We got this. It's just a dresser.

F***ing f***. F*** me!

What, do they make a piece of furniture

that's impossible to build on purpose

just to f*** with you?

Thank you.

Wait.

I've got it.

- Perfect.

- F***ing layup.

It's like Koons meets Basquiat meets...

Serra meets...

Corky from Life Goes On.

He's a vegan, you know.

Oh, cherish.

That is so cute.

You're cute.

You're cute.

Hmm.

Hey. What are you doing?

I love you.

Okay.

Oh.

That was a bad idea. So sorry.

No, don't be sorry. It was nice.

Jess.

Come on.

Drinking and the dresser and...

I think, you know...

We're seeing other people.

Well, yeah, but just because...

Oh, God.

I'm an idiot.

I just thought--

You thought what?

Well, I wasn't clearly thinking,

or else I wouldn't have let that happen.

You didn't think

we were getting back together.

It's not like...

You know, there's a guy

you can call at IKEA.

He'll build your dresser for you.

You should call him.

Probably f*** you too.

Oh, Jess.

I'm a f***ing idiot.

Oh, Jess, come on. Jesse.

Jess?

Jess?

Hey, Jess, it's me. Uh...

I'm on my way to the airport,

but I wanted to talk to you.

I don't know what happened last night.

Uh, I hope you're okay.

Okay, bye. Call me.

Hey, you've reached Jesse.

Leave me a message.

Hey, it's me again.

I'm in San Francisco.

I'm going to Boston tomorrow.

And I miss you.

Call me. Okay. Bye.

I'm sorry.

Of course.

Stupid.

Hey, you're back. I wanna talk to you.

I know. I wanna talk to you too.

Where have you been?

It's been like two weeks.

There's so much to lay down.

Pay-per-view porn is available

in Cantonese now.

Really?

Yeah .

I'm really near your house. Can I just come by?

It's kind of important.

There's 68 colleges in Boston. Why

were the kids in my group so dumb?

I mean, they were, like,

barely making sense.

They were not speaking English.

Hey. I really gotta tell you something.

Actually, me loo.

Wait. Are you gay?

Please tell me you're gay.

That'd be so funny.

No. Not gay.

This is going to be hard to believe-

But you went on another date.

I'm having a baby.

Huh?

I'm having a baby.

What do you mean?

I'm having a child.

With another person?

Yes, with another person.

Wait, what?

Sorry. What...?

What the f***? With who?

You met her, actually,

the other day at the bookstore.

Oh.

But that's not even physically possible.

That was two weeks ago.

Yeah. Heh. Uh...

Truth is,

I slept with her like three months ago.

Oh.

Sh*t. Okay.

Well, I didn't know about that, but that's

not important right now. Okay. Um...

What do you need me to do?

Oh, no.

You don't have to do anything.

I really wanna make it work with her.

Excuse me one second.

Hello.

What?

I said, hello.

Oh. Hi.

How's your practice?

How's my practice?

It's fine.

I'll get that mat for you.

Thanks.

I see you here a lot.

You've got a great Warrior 2.

Your Chaturanga is,

like, incredibly balanced.

I'm still working that position, but...

Are you single?

Are you really doing this right now?

You're really doing this.

I know. I'm gonna go for it. I don't do this.

It's just happening. I'm gonna...

Gonna jump right in there.

I'm jumping in.

Captain Conversation.

Do you--? Hey, I'm Paul. Put it there.

Oh.

Celeste.

Celeste.

That's a great name

So here's my card.

That's my number, e-mail

If you need to fax me--

You bring cards to yoga?

Hi. How are you? Come on in.

Great ow today.

I'm not good at this. Little help?

Financial analyst. Cool.

Not really. It's not that cool. It's all right.

Did you tell me what you did for a living?

No, I didn't.

Well, will you? I'd love to know.

I'm a trend forecaster. I forecast trends.

Trend forecaster. Yeah.

You serious?

I thought you were f***ing with me.

You traded in your Porsche for an Audi

because you're afraid you'll lose your job.

You bought a Droid because

it makes you seem business-oriented

unlike the iPhone,

for teenage girls.

You go to yoga because

you went to a sub-Ivy League school.

You spent the last 10 years

working long hours.

You thought it was time

to do something spiritual.

It was nice to meet you, Paul.

He)'-

He)'

Where were you on the New York call?

Oh. I figured you could handle it.

Yeah. Well, anyway,

the artwork came in from Berlin.

It's good, but it--

Breaking news.

Jesse is having a baby with some girl.

Whoa. Wow.

Did you even know

he was seeing someone?

No, it's somebody he slept with once

months ago.

Now he's gonna try to "make it work."

Plane crash. Ha-ha.

I don't even know what to say.

I'm so sorry, Celeste. Are you okay?

Scott, I'm totally fine. Yes.

Are you?

Yes.

I wasn't gonna have his baby,

so good for him.

I'm not in love with him anymore.

It makes it easier.

I have a date tonight, actually.

Hmm. That's great.

Feel like it might be nice to go out

and be admired.

I agree. Go be admired.

Who knows? You may actually

simulate human emotion.

Thank you.

Thank you.

My foot actually pronates

so my IT band is strained

when I run, which is painful.

The foot specialist

made me these orthotics.

They shape around my foot.

They make it so much better.

I cannot explain how amazing it feels.

I'm one of those people who--

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My ex is here.

Oh, we made eye contact.

I think it's-- It's okay.

Maybe he didn't see me.

Nope, he saw me. He saw me.

It's okay.

Oh. He's coming over here now.

Know what? You should leave.

What?

Yeah, you should go.

I'm not gonna leave.

It would be better.

It's too late because

he's here now. Hey.

Hey. How's it going?

Good.

Thought I'd say hi. I'm Jesse

That's Mac.

Uh-- It's Max.

Matt.

Nope, Max.

Nice. Cool.

We're just eating. I'm on a date

We're on a date. I'm dating.

Oh, cool. The puttanesca

special is the bomb here.

Oh, good news. That's what I ordered.

Nice. Cool.

Who are you here with?

Oh, I'm just rolling solo,

watching the Lakers game.

- It's Kobe-LeBron, right?

- Yes.

- So psyched.

- Yeah, man, epic.

TiVo'd it.

Nice. Cool.

- Well, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

C, good to see you. Have fun.

He's cool.

Uh-huh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are you okay?

What? Oh, nothing.

Do you like bread?

Ah. That was great.

Should we do it again?

Wednesday? Sushi?

Um...

I don't think we should.

Because of the mercury poisoning?

My acupuncturist said that's a myth.

No. I think that...

I think you could use a little more time

to get over your divorce.

I mean, look, it took me a long time

to start dating after mine. I gel it.

Heh. I appreciate your concern,

but I'm fine.

I guess you're just

not a match for me, so...

Yeah. Well, um...

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