Celeste & Jesse Forever Page #5

Thanks. You look good too.

Oh. I've been doing a lot of Pilates.

Really?

Yeah. Veronica's a dancer.

She has all this equipment at her house,

so I've just been getting into it.

Well, I know all this

has been really weird.

It's only weird if you think it's weird.

Okay.

There's apparently a holdup

on the divorce papers on your end,

and Veronica's actually

not a citizen, so--

What? Where's she from?

Belgium.

Oh. Belgium. Elegant.

What?

Nothing.

Point is, we need to get married,

and I'm really sorry to bug you, but I

really need you to sign those papers.

Uh-huh. Heh.

Okay, Jesse.

Well, I've been busy with work,

because some of us work for a living

so I'm sorry I haven't had time to focus

on helping you get on with your new life.

I know. I'm sorry.

What makes you think you're suitable

to be a dad, even?

We never talked about kids.

You had reservations about kids.

I had reservations about kids with you.

Yeah, well, ditto.

I think Veronica's

gonna be an amazing mother.

Low blow.

I'll sign the papers.

You're ridiculous.

This place is ridiculous.

F***ing cashew-vegan-kelp bullshit.

Jesse's a f***ing vegan?

Yeah, a vegan whose work

is being shown.

At the Gagosian.

At the Gagos--?

What?

Yep.

How does anybody even know

about his art--?

Know what?

I don't wanna know anything.

My God, he's on fire right now.

Breaking up with me

was the best thing he ever did.

I should break up with me.

Oh, stop.

Somebody else's success

does not mean your demise.

Except for Jesse's.

- What are you guys dressed as again?

- Bieber.

Ooh. He just got a buzz cut.

What? F***!

Shut up- When?

Like two hours ago. It was on Perez.

Goddamn it.

His hair was everything.

He's really talented.

What's with the costume parties

in the middle of the summer? Hot.

I need to f***ing drink.

- Car bombs in the f***ing kitchen.

- Yes.

No.

Yes, I'm doing that. Yes.

You wanna wait a little bit?

I say "car," you say "bomb." Car!

Bomb!

Three, two, one, drink!

- Three, two, one. She lost.

- Come on.

- She lost.

- That's pretty good for--

No, don't be nice. Hey.

Ugh.

What even are you supposed to be?

Yeah.

What? Oh, white trash.

What is that?

White trash.

White "shrash"? Shrash?

White trash.

It's white trash.

Celeste.

Yoga.

I haven't seen you there in a while.

I know. I've been running a lot.

It really helps you keep in better shape.

I can see that's important to you.

Mm. How's your practice?

That's funny. White trash?

Mm-hm. What are you?

I'm a cereal killer, obviously.

Hey, you were right.

What do you mean?

You were right about me.

The car, the phone,

the yoga.

Except I went to an Ivy League school.

I went to Cornell.

Congratulations.

Thanks, man.

That's barely an Ivy

I know.

Barely.

Do you smoke?

At parties.

Let's go. Me too.

I'm sorry for that day at the studio.

I just feel really open after yoga.

Shh. Don't say "open." No.

Your costume is so great.

You're gonna ruin it.

I'm kidding.

You know why I go to yoga?

I go to yoga to meet girls.

I believe that.

You do?

Yeah. Heh.

Speaking of, what's the deal

with you and me? I mean, are we...?

Is it happening or what?

Um...

Well, the deal with you and me

is that my husband of six years

wants a divorce

because he wants to marry the woman

who's carrying his child.

That's the deal with you and me.

Sounds tough.

He barely knows her.

He's just lost,

and he's just going about everything

so wrong.

And you're right.

Now what?

What does that mean?

I mean, do you wanna be right,

or do you wanna be happy?

Okay, listen, Yoga, I don't wanna be right.

I know I'm right, okay?

People will let you down.

I have accepted that fact.

But knowing that,

makes it impossible to be happy.

But at least it's f***ing real.

No one has ever given

a more self-righteous monologue

- wearing a trash bag.

- Shut up.

Oh, whoa.

Okay, drunkie, let's go home.

Paul.

Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber. Hi.

Justin Bieber too.

Hi.

Just kidding. Beth.

You want another drink?

Two.

One drink.

One drink.

Hey, you've reached Jesse.

Leave me a message.

Hey, I still have a bunch of your sh*t.

I'm just gonna drop it off. Okay.

You're gonna be a really good dad.

What made you say that?

Um... I don't know. I just know it.

Well, that's an extravagant purchase for

a freelance artist and his Belgian bride.

Oh. Sh*t.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

I just realized

I don't know your middle name.

Um... It's, um, Godelieve.

Goldleaf?

No, Godelieve.

It means loved by the gods."

It's Dutch.

Pretty.

Thanks.

What's yours? Ha-ha-ha.

Mordechai.

Okay. What does it mean?

It means I'm very, very Jewish.

Right.

Celeste?

Hey.

Hey. What are you doing here?

Um, l just was dropping off

some of your stuff.

Why were you in the trash can?

I lost something.

In the trash?

Yeah.

It was my bracelet, but I got it back.

So it's-- I'm fine.

Oh, you remember Veronica.

Yes. Hi. Wow, you're so pregnant.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

I love your sweater.

Oh, thank you.

Good compliment.

I'm gonna go,

because I'm late for something, so--

Sure you don't wanna come in for tea?

No, no, you guys have a good afternight.

I'm gonna--

Is that mine?

What? Oh. Yeah,

I don't know how I got-

I'm so glad we did this. Bye, you guys.

Okay.

Step out of the shadows, girl,

and into the light.

Chips are gonna fall, you know?

No need to trip.

What are they like together?

Who?

Oh, Jesse and Veronica?

Yeah.

They're okay, you know?

He's trying, but it's not all rainbows

and unicorns over there, you know?

So they're not happy?

No, I didn't say that.

Listen, he's my friend, you know,

and I love him,

but you're my friend too, you know?

And if you ever need, like,

any kind of special friendship,

you know, like, just someone

to be with you and hold you

and caress you and be good to you

in ways that maybe guys aren't,

I think I could be that guy.

No.

Good. Good, good. Uh...

So where do you live?

I'm in Westwood, in a condo.

- Cool.

- You're gonna love this place.

Never been so relaxed in your life.

- Oh...

- There you go.

This is a very

unique place to take a date.

Yeah, Hake all my dates here.

Oh, I feel so special.

You are.

Right, Nana?

They all are.

How's being right going for you?

Oh, you know, not that well, really.

I was on a real winning streak

That's why I called you.

You know what? I'm happy you did.

Why would you take me to a place

where Asian people beat you up?

But how do you feel?

I feel... l feel really good, actually.

So shut up, then.

What are we doing now?

Don't try to control everything.

You need to let go.

In yoga, we call it vairagya.

Don't with the yoga.

- Yo.

- What's up.

What's going on?

How you doing?

Hey, this is Celeste.

Celeste, what's up? Matt.

Is Louis here? Yeah? Good crowd?

Good crowd? Like your grandma?

Where are we?

What is this?

This is her first time here.

Check it out.

Oh, my God.

Wow. This place is really cool.

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