Cellmates Page #5

Where do you suggest I find 'em around here, huh?

This ain't exactly the botanical gardens!

What did you say?!

I said your potatoes taste like downright manure!

Now, you ever heard about seasonin' around here, huh?

What the hell you got to be so jovial about, huh?

I just received a letter from the United States

Justice Department.

It was addressed to Mr. Emilio Ortiz.

That's me.

Justice Department, huh?

What'd they have to say?

Well, they say they just received my letter

And they're going to look into my case.

- Oh, look into your case, huh?

- Yes.

- Don't you know nothin', huh?

You wait for them imbeciles at the justice department to do something about your case,

You might as well get really comfortable in here,

Emilio, 'cause this is where you're gonna stay!

- So what do I do?

- Well, what you do is you don't send one letter. You don't send ten letters.

You send a hundred letters!

And you keep sendin' 'em till they stop lookin' into your case and they do something about it!

You don't stop at the Justice Department.

There's plenty of folks out there to send letters to.

You got your labor unions who got nothin' better to do than cause a fuss

on behalf of the immigrant.

You got members of the senate subcommittee on labor who love stirring up trouble.

You got your Governor, always gonna make good with that Liberal element.

And you got your Jew-Run media Who love gettin' in bed with them Liberals up in Washington, right?

- And you got your local paper--

- Did she like the flowers?

- Who? What?

- Madalena. Did she like the flowers?

I reckon

she loved the flowers.

Well, here. What she say?

She say, "Mr. Lowe, tell me...

Madalena:
didn't you ever want to change anything?

Leroy:
Well, I suppose therewas a time not too long ago

When I wanted to change a few things.

When I first made Grand Dragon, I looked at myself in the mirror,

My peaked hood proudly over my head,

And I thought I was on top of the world. I believed I was gonna accomplish great and mighty things.

But no matter what i did,

I didn't make much of a difference.

The world is changin',

And maybe I was too blind to see.

There's still folks out there who wanna keep dancin'

When the band's already gone home.

But my feet are gettin' tired.

Madalena:
people can change if they want, Mr. Lowe.

But only if they really want.

That's why I came here.

I have a lot of dreams.

There is a place in Mexico,

Just on the other side of the border.

The sun shines different there

It makes even the dirt on the ground

Glow like little pieces of gold.

And the air smells sweet, like mother's milk.

The place is called Deseo,

that means "wish."

My wish is to live in Deseo and open a restaurant

With the money I save working here.

I will cook all the food myself.

I know a lot of recipes,

And each is right for someone.

Leroy:
well, you workin' so hard and all,

I'm sure you'll open that restaurant of yours in no time.

Bet you're a hell of a cook, too.

Sure wish I could sample one of them soul-Fillin' recipes.

I'm darn sick of these potatoes,

No matter how many awards they won.

- Leroy:
hey. Who's it for?

- "Mr. Leroy Lowe."

Well, hand it over,

will ya?

Madalena:
for the man that never smiles,

I will make my world famous

Madalena moreno

cinnamon and sugar cookies.

I make each one curl up at the corners

So it looks like a smile.

For the man who is cold,

I will make lime and tequila pie.

I add two eggs and a squeeze of lime juice.

I will add a lot of tequila

So it will warm his stomach like fire.

For the man who is very hungry,

I will make Mexican Polvorones

With almond paste and powdered sugar.

For the sick man,

I will make Chile Chocolate Cake

With brown sugar, ancho Chile, and cayenne.

Chile Chocolate Cake, can bring a dying man back to life

Like a magic potion.

Hey, look, you might wanna pick up the pace there, boy.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Come on!

We send in all those letters to the Liberals and the Jews up in Washington,

And it don't make any difference.

What? Why?

Even if I get more work and better pay,

I will never be American enough.

- What the hell you talkin' about?

- It's my hair!

- Your hair?

- Yes, it's my hair.

- I will never look like dr. Ben Casey.

- Who?

Dr. Ben casey from the television show.

He has beautiful hair.

It doesn't matter how much I comb my hair,

How much pomade I put in my hair,

I will never look like dr. Ben Casey.

You can't just have a cause.

Americans have a cause and great hair.

Hey, maybe the good lord

Don't want you to look like that dr. Ben Casey fella,

Ever thought about that?

Quit that fussin'!

We are gonna have to solve that coiffure predicament of yours

Before I lose my good wit!

- It's my hair, warden.

- What? What about your hair?

I don't know. It's just...

It's just not what it used to be.

Well, you just have weak follicles, Leroy.

It's an hereditary condition that I was fortunate enough to elude.

But what's that got to do with your ability to work? Hmm?

I expect 35 crates a day from each and every one of my inmates,

And you just ain't Deliverin', Leroy..

I just can't seem to pay attention to much of anything anymore.

I mean,.

my will to live has gone with my good hair.

Well, we can't let your follicle defect interfere with your work, Leroy.

That's just not acceptable.

Well, warden, I know.

But if there was something you could do, out of the goodness of your heart--

- What do you have in mind?

- Well... I was thinkin' about a wig.

You know, somethin' fancy

Just might put the will to live right back in my heart.

Well, it just so happens that my wife Priscilla

Owns the hair salon down on main street.

She does highlighting, perm, hair color,

And she gives a good haircut, too.

- Look at this. Isn't this prize winning hair stylin'?

- Oh. That's a beaut, for sure!

A real beaut!

Figure your missus could get her hands on a nice hair piece?

I mean, if she so inclined.

Well, I'll put in a good word for you and she just might.

But that hair piece is gonna be part of a payment plan, Leroy.

It represents 25 extra hours of work that you owe me.

I love my new hair!

This is better than dr. Ben Casey!

- I will wear it always!

- You might wanna take that hair off sometimes.

No! I never take it off!

This is the most beautiful gift I have received in my life!

Thank you.

You'll be happy to know

that for the second time in a row,

Low Lee potatoes have been bestowed

The "best potato in the south" award.

Such an award is not easy to obtain, mind you.

It takes a lot of hard work to create the perfect potato.

Warden Merville here.

What? Aphids?

What do you mean, aphids?

We got aphids!

What are you making?

This here?

I dabble in sculpture from time to time--

Soap, potatoes, whatever's at hand.

This here is a particularly fragrant bar of soap, see?

Oh, a soap sculpture.

What is it?

- Can't you tell?

- Are those eyes?

- No, god damn it, those aren't eyes!

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