Chain Letter Page #2

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and for what reason?

- The ladies.

- Yeah, man.

The ladies. Really?

- The ladies.

- Yes, indeed.

And what do you do

with the ladies

on the Internet?

- Everything.

- Nothing.

You do nothing.

You see,

I think your generation

only sees the good side

of technology.

But I assure you

that where there is a good side,

there is also a bad side,

and both are out there

lurking somewhere.

Okay, kiddies,

let's see what we've got here.

Wow, Barclay.

Five hours later,

you're still here, huh?

Well, man, I guess

you just want to die again.

Come to me.

What are you doing?

Did you leave your computer?

I'm taking all your experience points.

All right, that's fine by me.

F***ing Dwight, man.

Go away.

I have got to save my comrades.

Oh, what the hell?

Okay, what is this?

"You've proven yourself

a worthy opponent.

You're the first link

in the chain."

Link?

Okay.

Well, that is fine.

Cool, man.

I'm a link.

You've received chain mail.

You've received chain mail.

You've received chain mail.

Yeah, chain master,

I got your text.

I get it.

Neil, my computer froze.

Can I get on yours real quick?

What? What the f--

Yeah, don't bother

knocking at all.

Sorry to bother you,

Mr. Personality.

Will you please get up

and move?

F*** you.

Get the f*** out of my room.

Neil, I was just writing

an email.

You're sitting here

playing games.

I have a social life.

I have people who

are f***ing counting on me.

- Oh.

- And my computer froze.

Can I just write an email

really quick?

I forgot.

I'm sorry, but no, you can't.

Neil, please, get up.

- F***.

- Just let me deal with this.

- Fine.

- What is this?

That's a stupid chain letter.

I hate those things.

"Every chain has a link.

Every link is a life."

Yeah, please don't touch it

because I'm just going

to delete it.

No, you don't

delete these, Neil.

They threaten

really terrible things.

Like, why take the chance?

Freaks me out if I don't.

Is that kind of

the same thing, Rachel,

as, like, Susie Joe--

she got it,

and she didn't send it off,

and five hours later

she's dead?

- Exactly.

- Right.

And Jessie

and... Johnny

and... Dante.

Can you hang on one second?

You're f***ing sending

a chain letter.

- Can you get off my computer?

- No, stop.

- No, you're not sending--

- Neil, just let me finish this.

...you're not sending chain letters

off of my account,

please, so you need

to excuse yourself.

- Neil, fine, I'm just--

- Off my seat, thank you very much.

Let me just finish this.

It'll only take a second.

Neil, just let me do this.

Excuse you. You can leave.

You can get off--

I have a phone call. That's the only

reason I'm leaving right now.

Oh, really? Are you sure Dante

is not working out or something?

Johnny's got his shirt off.

You better go.

If you must know,

it was your doctor, Neil.

He's really sorry, but, um,

surgery's just not an option.

There's nothing they can do

about your midget penis.

Oh. Well, that sucks.

I guess I'll just have

to f*** a midget.

Rachel, you only put four people

on this stupid thing, all right?

Whatever. I'm going to put

your name on it.

Rachel Conners.

There you go, b*tch.

A chain letter.

Thanks, dick.

"Break the chain,

lose a life."

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Delete.

Stupid.

Get the flag. Go, go, go!

Come on, shoot, shoot!

It's getting tight.

So what are we doing?

What's the essay topic?

Technology and piracy.

Piracy, right?

- Privacy?

- Privacy, privacy.

You jocks can't seem

to get that one right.

So we have a five-page essay

and a presentation,

so I want it to be

something creative.

Do you guys have anything

to contribute,

or is it just me?

Oh, sh*t.

Anyway.

Oh.

It's another f***ing chain letter, man.

"Break the chain, lose a life"?

That's pretty extreme,

don't you think?

Neil's dumb ass.

- I'm surprised he isn't in here right now.

- Mm-hmm.

I know you got one,

didn't you, Dante?

No, I don't have a phone.

What?

Snigglers ain't got a phone?

I'm just not into

the whole phone movement.

How do you even

survive without a phone?

Listen to me,

you need a Sidekick

or an iPhone or get you

a rotary phone if you have to.

I have a phone at home.

They just buzz, and they beep,

and they have little buttons

on them,

and I'm just not into it, man.

Regardless,

you still got one.

Check your computer at home.

You're on the list, Buddy.

Oh, thank you. Sh*t.

His ass has it, and you got it.

Kevin got it, too,

and your ass

and your ass got it.

All right, this boy

ain't pressing his luck.

I just delete them

as soon as I get them.

Poof, gone.

Just like that.

Like bam!

Knockdown.

All right, you guys have two minutes,

two minutes to play games

because I'm going

to the bathroom, okay?

When I come back...

And then right, right,

uppercut with the left.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, sh*t.

Jesus, man.

- You scared me, dawg.

- Sorry, bro.

- God.

- See you out there.

- What's up, man?

- Hey.

I heard you got a letter, right?

- Yeah, finally.

- Nebraska, huh?

Yeah.

Hittin' it hard.

Find out

where you're going yet?

No, not yet, but my--

my pops is hassling me

about it, so hopefully soon.

Hey, maybe you can play

for the junior college.

They're going to be good this year.

Yeah, well, I'm going

to hit this bench over here.

Do it.

What?

Yeah.

All right, okay,

I'll be home in 15, okay?

Yes.

Good-bye.

Hey, Johnny, did you get

this chain letter text from Mikey?

Yeah, I got that bullshit,

and then I deleted it.

A little intense, huh?

Ooh, you're all going to die.

Lame. Delete.

Bro, I gotta head out.

Later, man.

Have a good workout.

Put more weight on there.

You're looking kind of small.

F*** you, a**hole.

F***!

Kevin?

Kevin!

What the f***!

The f*** are you doing?

What the f***?

You've received chain mail.

Chain letter.

Junk mail.

What have we got?

Hey. This is bad.

Looks like we've got injuries

to the mouth,

teeth missing.

Crenshaw, his face is gone.

What about over there?

He must've been over there

getting a drink, and wham.

Makes a lot of sense

the perp would blindside him.

He's a big boy.

Any prints from the fountain?

We've got a bunch of partial

and smears.

We're running them

through NCIC,

but don't hold your breath.

Oh, jeez.

Coroner says the arms appear

to have been snapped off,

hyper-extended.

What could this kid have done

to bring something like this on himself?

He must've been

into something deep.

Nope, nothing so far.

Everybody said he was

a pretty good kid.

The coach did say

something interesting, though.

These chains don't belong here.

No one's seen them before.

That's interesting.

Where's this kid's locker?

I'll take you.

And there was no attendant,

no video camera?

Just a sign-in sheet.

The other kid

with John signed in--

Kevin Daniels.

Kids say they were workout buddies.

We have officers going

to his house now.

You know, the odd thing is

his car's still parked out in front.

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