Chained Page #2

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Gangway!

Michael, drop the housework and come see what little girls are made of.

Yeah? Where are they being made?

In the bar.

Congratulations, Mr. Smith.

They're not in order, Mr. Bradley.

She was a little distant, I take it.

She's a little Antarctica.

Is she worth an expedition?

Michael, my boy, you came to New York for relaxation.

Yes, and I'm fairly relaxed.

Ah, you won't know how tired and overworked you are until you've seen this one.

Alright, let's go have a look at her. I could get another scotch anyway.

She came into the bar and stopped on a hool, I mean, she hopped on a stool beside me.

And right then I knew what father meant when he told me about the

bee going from flower to flower... Ah, shut the door! Yes, sir.

Sometimes I actually have faith in you again.

There's a look in your eyes that caeful mothers fear.

Not at all. I'm going to prove that I'm a friend with some good advice.

You ought to go over there and apologize.

I don't think so. It would make me look weak.

You're not a tactician. It would clear your deck for future action.

Go ahead.

Well, maybe you're right.

From the hips, huh?

Yeah, but don't look like you've got gas pains.

Charming lady, after contemplating my rudeness I have come to...

Oh, I haven't finished.

Go ahead.

Dear lady, please don't disappear until you've...

Listen, what on earth convinced you that I...

It was the shipboard atmosphere, the freedom of the sea...

I've watched you, my friend, you've been annoying women long enough.

Why you...

No backtalk now. Steward, come here.

A half hour out and you want to play Jack the Ripper, ey?

Listen... I don't know who you are, my friend, but I don't want to see your

face on the deck again until you can act like a gentleman, do you understand?

Look, he... he...

Find out where this would be octopus' bunks so you can lock him up until he's sober.

Come along, sir, quickly now before I summon the officers...

You just wait.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice.

Thank you. I suppose he really was harmless.

Allow me. An Irish uncle named me Mike Bradley.

Well, good for him.

Thank you very much, Mr. Bradley.

Look here. Your nerves are probably all unstrung from the attack.

How about another cocktail?

No thanks. I've had my one cocktail for the evening.

Well, I'll see you at dinner then.

I'm dining in my room and turning in early.

Then I'll see you around tomorrow.

Yes. Yes, of course.

Scotch and soda.

Fine.

That deserves a drink, you cornfed Judas.

The same?

Yeah, the same.

What's the matter? Did the big rough sailorman hurt little Johnny?

Trying to put my head in the letter press.

Cost me five slugs to get out.

Don't be narrowminded. You were sleighted to be the villain right from the start.

Now she thinks I'm the hero.

Well one of us has got to make the grade, you see...

So you're the hero.

The water is warmer than it was yesterday.

Are you coming in tomorrow? Yeah! Sure.

Yey!

Yey yourself!

Yey!

And good morning.

Oh, good morning.

How's the water, warm?

It's awfully cold. I don't think you'd like it.

I'm not chasing you, really. I just turned up here like an old can of soup.

The ocean's full of them.

Or maybe I'm the polar brushman.

No brushes today.

How about a groom?

Couldn't use it.

Tooth brush?

Sir?

Nailbrush?

No.

Hairbrush?

Oh, go home will you?

I haven't any.

You haven't any what?

Sense.

I'm sure of it.

Then stop arguing.

I'm not arguing.

What's the matter?

I hope you choke.

You're doing pretty well at it. Here.

Unhand me!

Your eyes are very beautiful.

Stop.

Even when they're bloodshot.

Would you tell me what this is all about?

I don't know. But isn't it fun?

Yes.

Hey, look at me. I'm not such a boogeyman, am I? Just open, honest.

There's nothing striking about it but...

Come on, let's you and me stand him and her.

It's a go, huh?

Brian, throw it here!

Now we're even.

Say, how about that cocktail we were going to have last night for dinner?

Can we have it tonight?

When are you leaving this boat, Mr. Bradley?

I'm going all the way to Buenos Aires. How about you go?

All the way to Buenos Aires.

Is that game Dinah?

Dinah?

Yes, yes, I know. The passenger list calls you Miss Diane Lovering.

But I call you Dinah.

In heaven's name, why?

Well I had a black-faced doll when I was about a year and a half old... I called her Dinah.

I loved her very dearly. I couldn't go to sleep unless she slept under my bed every night in a shoebox.

I'm sorry. I don't see the comparison.

Except that Diane reminds me of Dinah, that's all.

Oh.

You see. There you go getting petty, yeah, yeah.

Look, I'm out for laughs, Dinah, that's all.

Good.

Yeah, and you look kind of silly as you are...

Oh, very silly.

And I'm not a year and a half old anymore.

Wait a minute. We're playing a game.

Oh, pardon me. I forgot, Mam.

Holy cat's Neptune!

There must be a hole in the bottom of the boat.

Let's have a look.

Well. What's the idea? Six thirty, you said. You're 15 minutes early.

Am I?

Then I'm an extraordinary woman.

Ahead of time, ahead of everything.

What are you having?

I don't know. What's yours?

Sherry flip.

Sherry flip?

What's the matter? Are you ill? Seasick?

No, not in the least.

Sherry flip? They give that to people with stomach trouble and the gout.

They serve it in old people's homes on Christmas.

But you see, I happen to like it.

Doesn't fit in with the rest of you at all.

It's the nicest cocktail I know.

Well I'm going to appoint myself a committee of one to show you a cocktail that is a cocktail.

Two Daiquiris. You know, the way you fixed them last night, with Jamaica rhum.

And go easy with that syrup.

No, none for me

Oh, but I insist. That's just soap and water.

There's not tang, no feeling, no ecstasy, no oomph to it.

Where's our good friend Johnny Smith?

I don't know. I left him tying his tie. It was like he was trying to lynch himself.

What are you and Johnny going to Buenos Aires for?

He's in with the younger rats down there.

Oh, frontiersman, huh?

Am I that much of a hick?

I guess these trips and all will take care of that.

Yeah, they help. Here.

A couple of these and you'll find yourself up in the crow's nest.

Well?

Very nice, but...

But what?

May I please have another sherry flip?

Sure. Steward.

Miss Lovering wants another sherry flip. That's a flop.

Yes, sir.

Dinah, you're very beautiful, but you're liar.

Oh, hello.

I thought you said you were going to bed.

I came out here to listen to the music for awhile.

How about listening in there and dancing?

No, I'm too comfortable here.

You're a problem girl, aren't you, Dinah?

No. Why?

You're a problem to me and sometimes I think you're a problem to yourself.

What did you come on this trip for? The ride?

Uh-huh.

Darn long ride.

I wanted a long ride.

Who's the guy?

What guy?

You know, every once in awhile your eyes are way out there in the horizon.

There must be a guy behind a woman's eyes when they're like that.

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