Charly

I always believed

that love was fairly uncomplicated.

You found the perfect woman,

gorgeous but practical.

You married, settled down

with children, minivan, mortgage...

...and lived quietly, predictably,

happily ever after.

That was my dream

until she came into my life.

Her name is Charlene.

She's an art student.

No way.

She's visiting here from New York.

Her grandmother's setting up

some art exhibit or something...

No way. The last time you set me up...

Did I ask you to take her out? No.

I just asked you to pick her up

from the airport and...

...show her the sights of Salt Lake

on your way to her parent's house.

Then dinner, if she's hungry.

Sounds like a date to me.

She's here on vacation.

She just wants to see the sights.

So send Mom.

Her father seems to think

you two might hit it off.

Her father?

My new regional manager.

The plot thickens.

Look, all I want you to do

is pick her up, show her the sights...

...take her home. Simple. Easy.

Well then I'll take her to Temple Square

and buy her a milk shake.

You can do better than that.

It's only one night.

Please. As a favor to me.

Subsidy?

Welfare?

Deal.

Seventy bucks and the Mustang.

I was on a roll.

One lap around town, a light dinner,

home by 8:
30 and I'm 50 bucks richer.

I was smooth, confident, in control.

Well, mostly.

Besides, it was one night. What could

possibly happen in one night.

Mark.

So, marry me.

How romantic. Too late.

- I want to be married, to you.

- And you know what that means?

Two people with matching rings,

spending time together.

What more could you want?

I'll let you know when I find it.

Come back to New York.

We can do this like you wanted to.

Why the rush now? I'm here, I might as

well see what Salt Lake has to offer.

C'mon Charly, quit with the games.

Who's playing?

You're a little upset.

You play games when you're upset.

Tell your Dad

you're getting back on the plane.

Dad's not coming to get me.

Who is?

I don't know. Dad arranged it. Jealous?

- Of what, some Mormon guy?

- How do you know he's Mormon?

You're in Utah...

...the state that buys more wedding

and birth announcements per capita...

...than any other state

in the civilized world.

Trust me, he's a straight-laced,

buttoned down, bore.

Hello...

...Charly, are you listening?

Believe me, Mark.

You have nothing to worry about.

That's me.

On the sign.

I'm Utah. Welcome to Sam.

Nice to meet you, Utah.

Sam's a beautiful place.

I take it you're my ride home.

Sorry. Yeah, Sam Roberts.

Can I help you with that?

No thanks, got it.

You work for my father?

- No. Actually I'm a student, like you.

- You're an art major?

- Computer Information Systems.

- Perfect.

Did my father tell you why

he wanted you to pick me up?

Actually, I've never met your...

I'm practically engaged,

but Daddy hates my choice of men...

...so he looks for fine upstanding men,

like yourself, to lure me away.

And you know what? It's working.

Coming, Utah?

You're engaged?

He's asked, but I haven't said yes.

Why, are you interested?

Don't you think you ought to get that?

Sorry, it's to remind me not to be late.

Okay, Utah.

Let's get this over with, shall we?

Look, if you don't want to go out I'm...

And disappoint Daddy?

Not a chance. What's the plan?

You decide. I've got the local historical

sites and points of interest here.

- Amy, Anna, Barbara, Tessa.

- Wrong list.

- Utah, is that your little black book?

- "This is the Place Monument"?

- Not much there.

- Hogel Zoo, then?

I'm allergic.

What do the little

check marks mean?

There's always Trolley Square?

It used to be a trolley station

and now it's a huge shopping mall.

Fascinating.

- Yours?

- My father's.

Do you have a rating system

or is it survival of the fittest with you?

There's always Kennecott Copper Mine.

The largest open strip mine in the world.

Hate to pass that up.

A fun filled evening with you

at the local strip mine.

Somehow, Utah,

you don't seem the type.

What'd you put in these things.

- Wait. What are you doing?

- Come on, Utah.

Are you crazy?

Slow down. I want to be able to

borrow this car again.

Life is for fun, Sam,

sounds like you need a life.

- Can't drive like this in Manhattan.

- Not supposed to in Utah, Charlene...

Charly, call me Charly.

I don't think this is such

a good idea, Charly.

Relax, Utah! If you can drive

in New York, you can drive anywhere.

Of course, I can't drive in

New York anymore.

- Does this radio work?

- Don't touch that.

Watch the road!

- Hey, did you see that?

- What?

Look at that, c'mon Sam.

It's beautiful.

- Tickets for the Ferris Wheel, please.

- How many?

We'll take whatever you've got.

Thank you.

Next please.

Welcome aboard.

- What's your name?

- Raferty, ma'am.

Mr. Raferty, please meet my fianc.

He's just proposed

and you're the first to know.

Actually, we've just met.

- Congratulations, kids.

- Why, thank you.

Sam and I would like to ride

your Ferris wheel for a long, long time.

You understand?

I'm not that old.

- Good.

- Hang on.

- Do you do that often?

- What?

Lie to complete strangers.

No. I lie to people I know, too.

Come on, loosen up, Utah.

Aren't you kind of cold in that?

Why are you hot?

Why couldn't we be engaged?

Aren't I good enough for you?

I don't even know you!

Exactly my point.

Who's to say I couldn't qualify?

You voted for him?

Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Nothing if you like a soil grubbing,

global warming corporate puppet.

It's nice to know America is safe

in the hands of voters like you.

- Describe her to me.

- Careful. Who?

The future Mrs. Utah. What's she like?

No, let me guess.

A little on the stout side, but pleasant,

always pleasant.

Perpetually aproned, but never ruffled.

June Cleaver with a dayplanner.

You have no idea

what you're talking about.

Come on, Utah. You can't tell me

sitting there in your starched shirt...

...that you don't dream of marrying

an ultra-organized gorgeous woman...

...who just happens to love to cook

and sew and cater to your every whim.

I don't know what I want yet.

I certainly haven't found her...

...when I do...

...we'll both know it and we won't

run around being practically engaged.

We'll get married

and we'll stay married...

...because you don't toss love around

between the lost and found.

You really mean like,

till death do you part?

No, more like forever.

Why Utah, you're a romantic.

Who would have guessed it?

A man who actually believes in

happily ever after.

I hope you find it.

This one is your fault.

Most everything is.

Whose idea was it

to have him pick her up?

Now Claire...

I could have picked her up.

You could have picked her up.

I don't think she'd have enjoyed that

nearly as much.

You'd prefer she date the same riff raff

she's brought home since junior high?

Captain Non-Commitment.

Mark?

Well, he'd be a whole lot better

than some hypertensive boy scout.

Oh, I don't know.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes