Chasers Page #2

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Why do we despise jarheads so much?

Why?!

Yeah, like it's a given:

Marine equals dogshit. How come?

Because they're a**holes!

Yeah, right. l forgot.

They don't know what they're

coming into.

Those little fish heads.

The little fish boys.

That ain't a toy. Holster it.

Think of that as decorative.

Don't touch the thing.

The sh*t hits the fan,

l'll be the one who drops him.

Now, remember,

four-fifths of this job is attitude.

lf you're tough,

they won't f*** with you.

From now on, you're mean.

God help us.

Here they come.

Here they are.

Go ahead.

The fun is about to begin, boys.

Hey, Banger!

Douche bag!

Oh, Rock!

Rock, Rock, Rock.

-Got a new partner there.

-Yeah.

-Real pretty boy.

-Are we gonna wait here all day?

That all depends, sir.

What are you here for?

One seaman, second class,

Tony Johnson.

Tony Johnson? Give me that thing.

Can't this be done out there?

Gotta make sure everything's in order.

They just sent two of you

for this prisoner?

No. There's some cheese-dick

like you hiding behind us.

l gotta get out.

You don't like tight spots?

You should use some Vaseline.

Are you sure you don't have

somebody else?

Come on!

You Navy boys are too slick.

One prisoner coming up.

-Welcome to the house of gravity.

-Jesus!

Navy! Navy!

Navy, slicker than ink.

Okay.

Make it snappy.

We got a long haul.

Johnson's 7 to 10. l gotta

make sure l dot all the l's.

All right. l'm going to the head.

Strike some matches.

Anchors aweigh, jarheads.

You guys, take your positions.

Someone's having a bad dream.

That's all that is.

Sign this.

-What is it?

-lt's routine, to get the prisoner.

You'll be on your way.

Bring up Johnson!

Yes, sir!

Hey, sarge!

Got stuff written on the walls here!

What is it?

''Banger bangs his mother''!

''Banger's a bad b*tch''!

All kinds of stuff!

Smell the seat.

Smell the seat, Rock!

Play with the toilet fish.

That's where you belong.

You guys in the Navy.

l'm not a big fan of the Navy.

l never have been.

l don't like the way it smells.

But they did right sending you here.

You got the right kind of tool

for this job.

Yes, sir.

You're one hellacious piece

of manpower.

Move it.

What are you on about now?

What l want to know is

which one of you...

...will be the female escort

on this show?

About face.

-What is this sh*t?

-You know the rules.

Any female prisoner in transport

must have a female escort.

We're here to pick up a guy.

Tony Johnson.

l know who you're here to get.

Charleston doesn't know sh*t.

This is the N.l.S. report.

This is the correct spelling.

The Navy orders are wrong again.

T-O-N-l.

Like the permanent.

She's female.

Joke's over. Take her back.

No. l can't.

We ain't taking her!

Pretty boy already signed for her.

She's yours.

Forget the rules.

l'll find a dress for you.

-He said it was routine.

-You--

Crotchless panties.

A 44 double-D bra.

-l thought--

-Who told you to think?!

Take your marital spat outside.

This is my office.

lt's a clean place!

Get my leg irons off her.

He's her problem now.

Good luck.

-What?

-The sun. l haven't been out lately.

l have shades in the van.

Get back here and secure the prisoner!

-Just getting her some glasses.

-lKnock that sh*t off! Get below.

The seat's hot.

-l'll get you a towel.

-Okay.

Those are mine.

Get in the van!

Why not make her a pitcher

of iced tea while we're at it?

l don't want to cause

any more trouble.

You're right. Get in.

You stow it.

She have to be cuffed back there?

She can't get out of the cage.

You okay?

Turn around!

Just asking.

Regulations prohibit engaging

a prisoner in a conversation.

Regulations are regulations.

That guy back there said 7 to 10.

He mean years?

ls this her report right here?

What'd she do?

What do l care?

l never read them.

Seven to ten's a long time.

Aren't you even curious?

No.

l have asthma.

Jesus!

Excuse me.

lf l may, l have to use

the bathroom.

Sure, we can pull off up here.

She can go when we stop for gas.

She has to go, she has to go.

She should've gone at the camp.

l have to go too.

We haven't eaten yet.

Looks like our last chance.

All right. All right.

-Operator.

-Charleston, 722-1 599.

Please hold.

-l thought you had the urge to go.

-Well, l lost the urge.

Thanks for stopping.

You're welcome.

l owe you one.

No, you don't.

Are you sure there's nothing

you'd like?

There's a lot l'd like, missy,

but nothing l can afford.

Excuse me.

He ain't worth the salt

in your tears, Sue Ann.

Goes and sleeps with your sister.

He's trash!

-He is worse than trash!

-Jesus.

Hey, that door stays unlocked.

Sure thing, sugar.

l'd keep the ring and slash his tires.

ls this stall taken?

Oh, honey, l died when l seen

his shoes under the door.

l nearly forgot my lines.

Thank God.

You're so late.

-l thought you wouldn't show.

-l didn't have an exact timetable.

-Are you sure about this, doll?

-Do it.

Hey, cutie-pie.

You got a smoke?

Oh, yeah.

ls that a verification

of that number?

Thank you.

Sure thing.

You ought to get fries to

go with that shake!

She's gone!

There!

Hold it right there!

Help! They're trying to kill me!

All right, let's go.

Let her go!

Get lost, tiny!

All right, hold it!

You are aiding and abetting

an escaped felon.

You let her go or l'm gonna shoot you

in your big, fat gut!

Goddamn it, that pisses me off.

l've transported 862 prisoners and

l've never had one get away from me.

-Calm down, you got her back.

-That's not the point.

-l'll look like an idiot reporting it.

-So don't report it.

l figured you'd say that.

Mr. ''Let's Uncuff Her

And Bake Her A Cake.''

-Who gave her a cigarette?

-Who opened the door?

-Who's in charge?

-Button it, mister!

l hope you know that stunt of yours

cost you another five years.

What do you think about that?

l think l'm in my moon.

What?

-My lady's.

-What'd she say?

l'm starting my cycle.

She's starting her period.

Well, go ahead and start.

lf you think l'd fall for that,

you ain't as smart as l thought.

There ain't nothing you can do

that'll get me to let you out again.

Not if the van caught fire.

Not if you peed in your pants.

Not if a rattler sat in your lap

and you screamed all the way back.

The desert will turn green before l

let you out of there again.

Will that be all?

Go on. Get in there.

Never done this handcuffed

to a man before.

lKind of sexy, don't you think?

There.

All done.

Here. Help stop the bleeding.

Let's go!

Hey, gorgeous.

Jesus!

You stupid!

Son of a b*tch!

You did that on purpose.

You kicked that hose out.

You're the one dragging me

in handcuffs.

-Chill, Rock.

-Chill?!

l'll put you on ice.

Regulations, Rock.

Hitting your partner's against them.

Put her in the van and lock it.

l'm gonna pay and go to

the head to wash this sh*t out.

-My name's Eddie Devane.

-Toni Johnson.

-Pleasure to meet you.

-Likewise.

Would you hand me

a paper towel, please?

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