Chastity Bites

Synopsis: In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still alive today, she's found a perfect hunting ground for her 'botox' as an abstinence educator in conservative America, and the young ladies of San Griento High are poised to be her next victims. But will her unholy ritual finally be stopped by Leah Ratliff, a feminist blogger and ambitious reporter for the school paper?
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): John V. Knowles
Production: Grand Entertainment
 
IMDB:
4.8
TV-MA
Year:
2013
93 min
Website
104 Views


[Kid static's "moonlight"

plays]

You taste like moonlight lose

my state of mind I ain't lying

lose my state of mind I ain't

lying like a lion lying down now

I ain't lying like a lion lying down now now,

calm down, child

like a lion lying down now now,

calm down, child it's just this thing got me

now, calm down,

child it's just this thing got me wild now

it's just this thing got me wild

now you taste like moonlight

wild now you taste like

moonlight lose my state of mind

you taste like moonlight lose

my state of mind I ain't lying

lose my state of mind I ain't

lying like a lion lying down now

I ain't lying like a lion lying down now now,

calm down, child

like a lion lying down now now,

calm down, child it's just this thing got me

now, calm down,

child it's just this thing got me wild now

it's just this thing got me wild now [Moans]

Wild now [Moans] [Breathing heavily]

[Moans] [Breathing heavily] Stop!

[Breathing heavily] Stop!

Come on! Stop!

Stop! Come on!

Stop! Geez, nicole!

Come on! Stop!

Geez, nicole! What gives?

Geez, nicole! What gives?

I thought you liked what I was

what gives?

I thought you liked what I was doing this time.

I thought you liked what I was doing this time.

Didn't it feel good?

Doing this time. Didn't it feel good?

Sure it did, george.

Didn't it feel good? Sure it did, george.

So, think how good it will

sure it did, george.

So, think how good it will feel when we don't stop.

So, think how good it will feel when we don't stop.

[Smack!]

Feel when we don't stop.

[Smack!] What did I say?

[Smack!] What did I say?

Ow! I'm sorry!

What did I say? Ow!

I'm sorry! Going all the way is

ow! I'm sorry!

Going all the way is something we're just not ready

going all the way is something we're just not ready for.

Something we're just not ready for.

Well, I feel ready.

For. Well, I feel ready.

[Smack!]

Well, I feel ready.

[Smack!] Pay attention!

[Smack!] Pay attention!

Ow! I'm listening!

Pay attention! Ow! I'm listening!

George, sex is a sacred act.

Ow! I'm listening! George, sex is a sacred act.

All right, now, two people may

george, sex is a sacred act. All right, now,

two people may love each other and have all

all right, now, two people may love each other

and have all sorts of other feelings, but it

love each other and have all sorts of other feelings,

but it just isn't right if those two

sorts of other feelings, but it just isn't right

if those two people aren't joined in the holy

just isn't right if those two people aren't

joined in the holy sacrament of marriage.

People aren't joined in the holy sacrament of marriage.

I mean, sex without that

sacrament of marriage. I mean,

sex without that sanctified bond may lead the

I mean, sex without that sanctified bond

may lead the fornicators to be punished by

sanctified bond may lead the fornicators to be

punished by having retarded bastard babies

fornicators to be punished by having retarded

bastard babies or burning in the eternal fires

having retarded bastard babies or

burning in the eternal fires of damnation!

Or burning in the eternal fires of damnation!

You don't want that, do you,

of damnation! You don't want that,

do you, george?

You don't want that,

do you, george? No.

George? No.

[Exhales sharply]

No.

[Exhales sharply] [Sighs]

[Exhales sharply] [Sighs] You should really be thanking

[sighs] You should really be thanking me.

You should really be thanking me.

I mean, my willpower is the only

me. I mean,

my willpower is the only thing standing between us and

I mean, my willpower is the only thing

standing between us and the gates of hell.

Thing standing between us and the gates of hell.

Remember -- the only truly safe

the gates of hell.

Remember -- the only truly safe sex is no sex.

Remember -- the only truly safe sex is no sex.

[Chuckles]

Sex is no sex.

[Chuckles] [Gasps]

[Chuckles] [Gasps] [Chokes]

[Gasps] [Chokes] [Screaming]

Well,

I feel so good I feel so good and I don't know why

I feel so good and I don't

know why and I don't know why

and I don't know why and I don't know why well,

I don't feel nothing

and I don't know why well,

I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm dead inside

well, I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm

dead inside and I'm up to my eyes in

'cause I'm dead inside

and I'm up to my eyes in dirt

and I'm up to my eyes in dirt well,

I feel so strange

dirt well,

I feel so strange I don't feel so good

well, I feel so strange I don't

feel so good and I don't know why

I don't feel so good and I don't

know why and I don't know why

and I don't know why and I don't know why well,

I don't feel nothing

and I don't know why well,

I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm dead inside

well, I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm

dead inside and I'm up to my eyes in

'cause I'm dead inside

and I'm up to my eyes in dirt

[School bell rings] Damn it.

I just need a couple more

damn it.

I just need a couple more minutes to finish this story

I just need a couple more minutes

to finish this story outline.

Minutes to finish this story outline.

I know.

Outline. I know.

I was just getting to the best

I know.

I was just getting to the best part.

I was just getting to the best part.

Ugh. Yuck.

Part. Ugh. Yuck.

How can you read this

ugh. Yuck.

How can you read this sentimental tripe?

How can you read this sentimental tripe?

What? It's romantic.

Sentimental tripe? What?

It's romantic. Kath, I keep telling you.

What? It's romantic. Kath, I keep telling you.

Romance is just another

kath, I keep telling you.

Romance is just another patriarchal social construct

romance is just another patriarchal

social construct designed to keep women

patriarchal social construct designed to keep

women submissive and teaching us, yet

designed to keep women submissive and teaching us,

yet again, that our sexuality is our

submissive and teaching us, yet again,

that our sexuality is our most marketable commodity.

Again, that our sexuality is our most

marketable commodity. Okay, gloria steinem.

Most marketable commodity.

Okay, gloria steinem. And here to illustrate my

okay, gloria steinem.

And here to illustrate my point...

And here to illustrate my point... Look, y'all.

Point... Look, y'all.

It's los lesbos de san griento.

Look, y'all. It's los lesbos de san griento.

[Laughter]

It's los lesbos de san griento.

[Laughter] And I think we know which one's

[laughter] And I think we know which one's the butch.

And I think we know which one's the butch.

Oh, I'm sorry.

The butch. Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought bi-curious

oh, I'm sorry.

I thought bi-curious girl-on-girl action was still

I thought bi-curious girl-on-girl

action was still trendy this week.

Girl-on-girl action was still trendy this week.

I don't want to be rude, but

trendy this week. I don't want to be rude,

but not if you're fugly, honey.

I don't want to be rude,

but not if you're fugly, honey. [Laughter]

Not if you're fugly, honey.

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