Chastity Bites Page #6

so, who will join me?

Yeah, which is worse to admit?

Yeah, which is worse to admit?

Being a virgin or being a slut?

[Scoffs] Can you -- what the hell are you doing?

What? We're virgins!

What the hell are you doing? What?

We're virgins! I've never even kissed a boy.

What? We're virgins!

I've never even kissed a boy. I don't care.

I've never even kissed a boy.

I don't care. Keep your hand down.

I don't care. Keep your hand down.

This whole thing is a neocon

keep your hand down.

This whole thing is a neocon freak show.

This whole thing is a neocon freak show.

Ash, we never question what

freak show. Ash, we never question what you're doing,

but what are you

ash, we never question what you're doing,

but what are you doing?

You're doing, but what are you doing?

I'm volunteering. We all are.

Doing? I'm volunteering.

We all are. F*** that.

I'm volunteering. We all are.

F*** that. What about our pact?

F*** that. What about our pact?

Get your hands up now.

What about our pact? Get your hands up now.

Told you we'll convo later.

Get your hands up now.

Told you we'll convo later. Ah, yes.

Told you we'll convo later. Ah, yes.

You pretty girls at the front.

Ah, yes. You pretty girls at the front.

You already look like natural

you pretty girls at the front.

You already look like natural leaders.

You already look like natural leaders.

Please, come forward.

Leaders.

Please, come forward. What?!

Please, come forward.

What?! Leah, quiet!

What?! Leah, quiet!

Are you absolutely sure

leah, quiet!

Are you absolutely sure they're all virgins?

Are you absolutely sure they're all virgins?

That's just the style these

they're all virgins?

That's just the style these kids wear.

That's just the style these kids wear.

Believe me.

Kids wear. Believe me.

My daughter's their leader.

Believe me. My daughter's their leader.

She knows everything about them,

my daughter's their leader. She knows everything

about them, and they'll do anything she

she knows everything about them,

and they'll do anything she tells them to do.

And they'll do anything she tells them to do.

Wonderful.

Tells them to do. Wonderful.

I look forward to getting to

wonderful.

I look forward to getting to know all of you.

I look forward to getting to know all of you.

Please take a ring.

Know all of you. Please take a ring.

That's right. Yes.

Please take a ring. That's right.

Yes. Put it on that finger, like a

that's right. Yes. Put it on that finger,

like a wedding ring.

Put it on that finger, like a wedding ring.

It signifies a solemn vow.

Wedding ring. It signifies a solemn vow.

Now, if you would please sign

it signifies a solemn vow. Now, if you would

please sign the dossier stating that your

now, if you would please sign the dossier

stating that your intent is to stay chaste and

the dossier stating that your

intent is to stay chaste and pure...

Intent is to stay chaste and pure...

But they can't!

Pure... But they can't!

What about my story?

But they can't!

What about my story? Sign!

What about my story?

Sign! [Pen scratching]

Sign!

[Pen scratching] congratulations.

[Pen scratching] Congratulations.

You four are the inaugural

congratulations.

You four are the inaugural chastity leaders for the

you four are the inaugural chastity

leaders for the san griento virginity action

chastity leaders for the san

griento virginity action group.

San griento virginity action group.

As I said, I invite you other

group. As I said,

I invite you other girls to attend our meetings and

as I said, I invite you other girls to attend

our meetings and to learn by their example.

Girls to attend our meetings and to

learn by their example. All are welcome.

To learn by their example.

All are welcome. [Applause]

Learn by their example? Who the hell are they kidding?

And now I'm back to square one

who the hell are they kidding?

And now I'm back to square one with my story.

And now I'm back to square one with my story.

Oh, don't worry.

With my story. Oh, don't worry.

You'll think of something great.

Oh, don't worry.

You'll think of something great. You always do.

And what about you two?

Will I be seeing you at our first meeting?

Will I be seeing you at our first meeting?

I-I-I'd like that.

First meeting? I-I-I'd like that.

We'll think about it.

I-I-I'd like that.

We'll think about it. Hmm.

We'll think about it.

Hmm. I do hope so.

Hmm. I do hope so.

I don't get you sometimes.

I do hope so. I don't get you sometimes.

Why do you have to be so

I don't get you sometimes.

Why do you have to be so negative and pissy about

why do you have to be so negative

and pissy about everything?

Negative and pissy about everything?

I'm not negative and pissy

everything?

I'm not negative and pissy about everything.

I'm not negative and pissy about everything.

Just about things that are

about everything.

Just about things that are utterly stupid or decidedly

just about things that are utterly stupid

or decidedly creepy, like clown art or

utterly stupid or decidedly creepy,

like clown art or lingerie models with wings or

creepy, like clown art or lingerie models with

wings or reading because oprah said to.

Lingerie models with wings or reading

because oprah said to. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Reading because oprah said to.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. And that's another thing.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. And that's another thing.

Look, leah, just because we're

and that's another thing. Look, leah,

just because we're friends and you think something

look, leah, just because we're friends and you

think something is stupid that -- well, that

friends and you think something is stupid

that -- well, that doesn't always mean I do.

Is stupid that -- well, that doesn't always mean I do.

Wait, you want to join that

doesn't always mean I do.

Wait, you want to join that reactionary club of theirs?

Wait, you want to join that reactionary club of theirs?

I-I don't know.

Reactionary club of theirs? I-I don't know.

Maybe I'd -- I'd like to go and

I-I don't know.

Maybe I'd -- I'd like to go and see for myself.

Maybe I'd -- I'd like to go and see for myself.

Really?

See for myself. Really?

You didn't think there was

really?

You didn't think there was something spooky about that

you didn't think there was something

spooky about that woman?

Something spooky about that woman?

No. She's foreign.

Woman? No. She's foreign.

People are -- people are very

no. She's foreign. People are -- people

are very different in other countries.

People are -- people are very different in other

countries. They're -- they're more elegant

different in other countries.

They're -- they're more elegant and cultured and stuff.

They're -- they're more elegant and cultured and stuff.

Yeah, I don't know.

And cultured and stuff.

Yeah, I don't know. It wasn't that.

Yeah, I don't know. It wasn't that.

I just felt like the way she

it wasn't that.

I just felt like the way she looked at us was kind of

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