Children of Sorrow Page #4

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someone who's been mean to you,

someone outside of the family.

With all of your might

blow their lives away.

All dead!

Simon.

Not now, Mary.

So what's going on with you?

Nothin'.

No, everything's good.

Now, just between you and me and the

camera, is anything bothering you?

You like being here?

Yeah. Yeah, I love it.

It's great.

Yeah, I really...

I really like it.

You making friends?

Yeah.

All the kids?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Friends with Grace and...

Ellen?

Yeah.

Evan?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, I just went for it.

You know, I just...

What do you mean?

What'd you do?

Well, I kissed him.

Yeah.

And then I just

leaned in and kissed him.

Did he kiss you back?

Hmm?

Did he kiss you back?

Now.

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!

Do we have to film this?

Would it make you

more comfortable

if we turned

the camera to the wall?

If you wouldn't mind, Father?

Now wait a minute.

I find this hard to believe.

You never had a boyfriend?

I mean,

I could be your boyfriend.

That'd be creepy.

Why?

Because you're my father.

You can't be both.

What if I told you

that I can do anything I want?

Here we have two of

my children in an intimate moment.

What do you see in front of you?

A girl.

What's her name?

Robin.

What's her purpose?

I don't know.

Her purpose is to serve

you, son, because you're a man.

Do you hear me?

Do you understand?

Okay.

And at this moment,

you're looking at your

property and your playground.

A thing of beauty and delicacy.

Put your hands on

your property, son.

Do it.

Do it. Do it now.

I don't know how.

Okay.

Is that the way you handle property?

I don't know.

Touch her.

Higher.

Higher.

You know where to go.

Do it. Touch 'em.

Put your hand on the other one.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Good. Just feel.

Robin, how does it feel?

Don't lie.

How does it feel?

It doesn't feel like anything.

I'm sorry.

Because Alan doesn't yet know

how to appreciate a woman.

But he will.

Kiss her.

Kiss her, Alan.

The other way, I can't see you.

Kiss her.

You're not kissing your goddamn

grandmother, kiss her.

Something's changed

and everyone's acting scared,

but they won't

tell me what's what.

I don't know,

maybe they don't even know.

Things just...

They feel heavier.

Simon and Mary keep disappearing

for long hours at a time

and when they get back, they run

us through even crazier drills.

It's getting harder to focus.

They're not

letting us sleep anymore.

I wanna talk now.

I'd like to talk about music.

And the power that music

has to change people.

Some people.

The song Amazing Grace,

I've heard a million times.

I heard it growing up in church.

I was a pretty bad kid.

I didn't listen to

that stuff, you know?

Then one day that song came up

and it hit me

square in the face.

I was in County, again,

trying to lower my points,

you know.

Bullshit motherfucking

say-no-to-drugs meetings they had.

God.

Sweet Jesus, it was boring.

You know the routine.

Some fat motherf***er gets up

starts talking about how doing

blow made him suck dick.

Whatever. I don't give a sh*t.

Then he starts

talkin' about that song.

About how it changed him, you know.

He was blind but now he sees.

You know, blah, blah, blah,

I'm about half-listening.

Then he starts to sing.

Amazing Grace

How sweet the sound

He sung like an angel.

Just like an angel.

So I figured

"Hell,

"if Amazing Grace could make

that fat f*** beautiful,

"maybe it can do something

for the likes of me. "

We were six when we first met.

She was my best friend.

I think we knew even back then

we were gonna get married.

She got pregnant.

We were only 17.

But...

we weren't worried.

We knew we'd make it work.

She died.

What happened?

The baby cut off

her blood supply.

What about the baby?

Why would anyone blame you?

It's my fault she got pregnant.

And were they right?

Was it your fault?

You think it was lust or love?

It was love.

You sure you

know the difference?

Yes, Father.

What are you afraid of? Most?

Most of all?

Don't lie.

That I won't get

to see her again.

Good.

Let's talk about Mama.

Mama didn't give

a sh*t about me.

Or what happened to me.

So I got in trouble real early

and real often, you know.

Petty theft, stole

some cars, sh*t like that.

And I got caught a lot.

She didn't do sh*t

to get me outta there.

So I stayed.

And I didn't care.

At least in there

the hot water worked.

You know,

I got something to eat.

God,

you see some things, though.

Back up, baby,

let me show you something.

The first time I saw a man

take another man's life,

he stabbed him in

the eyeball for an orange.

A f***in' orange.

I mean, f***!

You don't getnothing for free in life.

There's always somebody who wants

to get f***ed or f*** you.

That's the only thing she ever

did say that made any sense.

I wonder what

she'd think of me now.

F*** you, Mama!

F*** you!

Turn it off.

Just being in this world?

I'm here to tell you it

doesn't have to be that way.

You can call it what you will,

I call it a transition.

But it's a change,

brothers and sisters.

It's a change.

And it's a hard way

and I can't make you choose it.

And if there's anyone

in this room right now

if there's anyone

under the sound of my voice

who feels that this

way is not for them,

I wish, I beg,

I plead for them to stand up

and walk out that door.

And I swear to you

upon my honor as a man

that you will not be stopped.

I will turn my

back and I will wait.

If you must leave, leave.

Very well.

Who's ready to feel that moment?

I am ready, Father.

I'm ready.

Who's ready to feel that power?

I'm ready, Father.

Brother Evan.

Yes?

He tells me it is your time.

Oh, my God.

Thank you, Father.

Celebrate with your brother.

I love you! I love you!

Exit interview, Brother Evan.

Hi.

Hi, Brother.

This is a great

opportunity for you

to tell those who may

watch this in the future

what you're feeling,

what you'd like them to know.

This is it.

This is the only

holy place on earth.

I feel sad for you

because you will never experience

what we are experiencing.

We only live once.

We only have one shot.

And this is it.

Yes, Father.

This is a moment of joy

for all of the family.

We will soon be

reunited in our new home.

Give me the camera.

Now, now.

Perfect.

Absolutely perfect.

Yesterday you saw

Brother Evan transition.

Yeah.

What was that like?

I don't know.

Yesterday,

I got to witness

the most beautiful thing I have

ever seen in my entire life.

I was really happy.

I knew that Brother Evan was

in a better place,

a place I wanted to be in.

Who's this guy?

The truck?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You like trucks?

Yeah, I do.

I've always liked trucks.

Yeah. Yeah, they're strong.

Do you want to talk about

Brother Evan's transition?

Why don't you just

tell us what it was like?

I don't know why,

I felt confused.

Confused about what?

I didn't want him to be in pain.

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