Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

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- Hang on. We're coming to a bend.

- You're going too fast.

What's this old iron doing here?

I'll give you ten bob for it.

Don't be daft. This was once a great car.

It won the Grand Prix three years running.

So it's a car, is it?

- Certainly it's a car.

- A racing car.

- And we're winning.

- You're in the way.

You're in the way for a belt around

the ear if I have any more of your lip.

All right. I'll give you 15 bob for it.

Make it 30 and she's yours.

Mr Coggins,

you're not going to sell her.

Course he is. You think

he's running a children's playground?

All right, 30 bob.

I'll pick her up Wednesday.

But you promised we could play in her.

I'm sorry, but she ain't any use to me.

Times are hard.

- But you can't take her away.

- She's not any old car. She's ours.

Not any more she ain't.

I'll see you tomorrow, Bill.

- What are you going to do with her?

- We'll put her in the clapper.

Crunch her up

till she's one solid piece of metal.

Then we're gonna put her in the furnace,

melt her down till she's liquid iron.

That's what we're gonna do.

Look what you've done.

You've frightened her.

- She shivered.

- See? She's a very special car.

If you put her in the furnace,

you'll be guilty of murder.

And if you don't get out of it,

I'll be guilty of two more murders.

You can't sell our lovely car

to that nasty man.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I already have.

I know. Daddy will buy it for us,

won't he, Jemima?

Of course.

Promise you won't let it go

until we come back.

- Please promise.

- Please.

- All right, I promise.

- Come on, Jemima.

That's a clever thing to do.

- We're very sorry, miss.

- I'm sure you are.

Just look at my car.

And look at the mess I'm in, too.

- Oh, no. I think you're beautiful.

- And I like your car.

Hmm.

You shouldn't be rushing across the road.

You might have been killed.

Anyway, why aren't you in school?

- It isn't a holiday, is it?

- No, miss.

- Do you live around here?

- Just down the road.

Get into my car.

I'm taking you home.

Just wait till Daddy hears

we've been for a ride in a motor car.

- What's your name?

- I'm Jemima.

- And I'm Jeremy.

- What's yours?

- Truly.

- That's a very pretty name.

Now, where is your house?

- We don't live in a house.

- We live in a castle on top of a hill.

I didn't know there

were any castles around here.

It isn't a castle exactly.

Daddy calls it that. He says King Alfred

used to live there a long time ago.

And does your daddy know

you aren't in school?

He won't mind.

He's awfully busy.

Is he? Well, he'll have

to find time to see me.

I have a few things to say to him.

Edison! Here, boy.

Good boy.

That's Daddy over there.

- Hello!

- Hello. You're just in time.

- What is he up to?

- That's his latest invention.

- Rockets.

- Rockets?

Stand back. Keep clear.

Hurray!

- Does he know what he's doing?

- Of course he does.

Whoa!

That's not funny.

Somebody should do something.

Hold on.

Wait there.

- Thank you.

- You might have gone up in flames.

Madam, I took that into consideration.

This suit is flameproof.

- Oh, dear.

- You have ruined my propulsion unit.

- How was I to know...

- Don't be cross with the lady.

- She gave us a ride.

- She was only trying to help.

- How very kind.

- Her name's Truly.

Do you realise I nearly

knocked down your children?

We do seem to be

accident-prone, don't we?

It wasn't my fault.

They came rushing...

It was very nice of you to apologise.

Tea time, children.

- Goodbye.

- Thanks for the ride.

Don't you have something

to tell your father?

Yes, we have.

Mr Coggins promised us...

She doesn't mean about that.

Daddy, we didn't go to school today.

Oh-ho.

It'll give the other children

a chance to catch up, won't it?

- Bye.

- Bye, Truly.

- But, Mr Potts...

- Good day.

Unstable. Definitely unstable.

Hey, hey!

Good afternoon, miss.

Sorry I can't stop.

I'm off to India

to have tea with the maharajah. Cheerio.

Mr Potts.

Mr Potts?

I'm sorry to persist about this.

Perhaps you aren't aware your children

were running about in the road.

It's not a playground...

Would you mind

pressing that switch there?

Just behind you. On the right.

The right?

Thank you.

You ought to exercise

more control over them.

I suppose I could chain them up.

On a long chain,

so they get plenty of exercise.

Don't your children go to school?

- I have it now, you're the truant officer.

- No, I'm not.

Didn't you ever play truant?

- I most certainly did not.

- I bet you didn't.

Would it be too much

to ask what this is? This... thing?

An invention of mine.

Cleans carpets by suction.

All that to clean carpets?

Away with sweeping and brushing

and dirty carpets.

Is that all you do? Invent things?

- Is that all I do?

- What's this gadget?

That's not quite right yet, but I hope

to transmit moving pictures by wireless.

- Really?

- Yes, really. As Marconi...

And this?

This is a sweet-making machine.

- Is this one of the sweets?

- Yes, it is.

Is it supposed to have holes in it?

No. Actually, I think the problem...

The boiling point

of your sugar is too high.

An expert on sweet-making, are we?

- And an expert on child welfare.

- I was only trying to help.

Maybe my children like running wild.

Did that ever occur to you?

And how my children behave

is frankly no concern of yours.

So take off in your fancy automobile

and go do good somewhere else.

I've never been...

Spoken to that way before?

Maybe it's about time.

Good afternoon, madam.

Mind the cable!

Officious, interfering...

If women want to drive motor cars,

they should learn to operate one.

I suppose it wouldn't occur to you

to offer to help me.

Get in the car, please.

For a mechanically-minded man...

- Try switching it on!

- Oh.

Hmph!

Open the throttle.

And keep it open.

Women!

Confounded woman.

Who does she think she is?

Coming in here and telling me

how to raise my children.

Do I need somebody to tell me

how to raise my children?

Of course not.

- Where's my cardigan?

- Under your jacket.

Under... Yes.

Self-righteous busybody.

- She won't be bothering us again.

- But I liked her.

So did I. She was very pretty.

She certainly was.

Do you think your father's a crackpot?

Your cardigan's inside out.

Do you think I'm wasting

my time on silly inventions?

But they're wonderful.

- Nobody else could think of them.

- That's right.

Nobody else could think of them.

After all, what makes the battle

worth the fighting?

What makes the mountain

worth the climb?

What makes the questions

worth the asking?

The reason worth the rhyme?

## To me the answer's clear

## It's having someone near

## Someone dear

## Someone to care for,

to be there for

## I have you two

## Someone to do for,

muddle through for

## I have you two

## Someone to share

joy or despair with

## Whichever betides you

## Life becomes a chore

## Unless you're living for

## Someone to tend to,

be a friend to

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