Chopper Page #7

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I'm thinking to myself, sh*t, it's only

gonna take him a couple of seconds...

to work this thing out

with the hammer so...

i've pulled out the bllody 410 and...

I just go f***ing bang.

And that was it.

He just bloody fell over.

Mark, what game are you playing?

Is this another one of your traps?

What do you mean?

Are you testing us?

Do you wanna see if...

we're gonna rush off to the

homicide squad and dob you in?

What?

We know you didn't shoot the Turk.

I just told you I shot the Turk.

They picked up the bloke that did it.

What f***ing bloke

that did it? I did it.

No, homicide have picked up the guy.

- They've even got the murder weapon.

- What murder weapon?

A 410 shotgun.

This bloody 410 shotgun.

Put it away Mark, just put it away.

This thing, it's a 410...

fine, it's a 410, there's a

f***ing million 410s out there.

That's not the 410 that did it.

You don't want this?

It's a murder weapon!

Put the gun away.

Take it down to bloody forensic.

How long have you

been on the go mate?

On the go mate? The only

person on the go here is you.

The f***ing goey mate, where's the

crust mate? You're off you're dial.

I don't think i've ever been as

bloody insulted as I am right now.

I'm sitting here confessing

to a f***ing murder...

i've known you since

I was a f***ing pup...

and you've got the f***ing

audacity to drag this c*nt here...

Sort out you're boy would you.

and you look at me

like i'm a f***ing idiot.

You're a bullshitter, simple.

I just saw on the TV a

man was shot at Bojangles .

I thought it was you.

Well it couldn't be me could it

or else I wouldn't be standing here.

Used to be bloody Chopper Read...

Now I can't even get

arrested in this f***ing town.

Did you do that?

Would I do a thing like that?

That's my boy, one in the skull!

It took those numbskulls two

weeks to finally get around to...

sorting the whole

mess out and arresting me.

Turns out Mandy Carroll was there that night.

Followed me and Sammy out to

the carpark and saw the whole thing.

What I seen when the

man got shot was like...

a flash from the

side of his face like...

yellow colours.

You know when you fire a

gun and you see the flashes.

Did you see a gun in

the Turkish man's hands?

The Turk was just standing there,

he didn't have anything in his hands...

he didn't have a gun, nothing.

He was just copping at sweet.

"Copping at sweet."

She turned crown witness against me...

Claimed that I murdered

the Turk in cold blood.

But what was she doing,

bloody stoned off her tits...

down at Bojangles at 6 in the morning?

Jimmy and the boys will be in the car.

You help setup the big

fella, it'll make you a star.

They said they had it farmed out,

They had it ghosted,

But when I walked out the door,

They just left me posted.

The game was for real,

It was no lark,

But the twit took him out

to the wrong carpark.

Siily boys, that's all

that Chopper had to say,

And poor little Sammy got blown away.

The knuckleheads! I could've

shot them in both kneecaps...

and finished a game of cards...

before this crew of

retards got their act together.

I'd like to thank my legal

team for all their hard work.

Solicitor Mr Pat Hutton,

my barrister Mr Morris Jeffery...

and queen's council Mr Damien Collins.

It was their sterling, bloody sterling

legal work that helped me beat the rap.

I'm just bloody rapt.

I beat the murder Blue on

the grounds of self defence...

but I got 5 years

for malicious wounding...

and other assorted scallywag behaviour.

I don't wanna put sh*t on myself but

the shooting of Sammy the Turk...

at Bojangles nightclub...

is the most shitpot non-event murder

case in Australian criminal history.

But for some reason I get all

these letter from all over the world...

and photos where all these crackpots

have gone down and taken photos.

I've got a letter here from the

sheriff of Sparkes county, Nevada...

wishing I was there.

And have a look, for some reason

they go down and take photos.

Bloody South African backpackers...

Bloody funny-looking homosexual...

How did he end up in there?

Housewives...

Bloody nitwits, these

young criminal wannabes...

spunky ladies with lingerie...

It's unbelievable.

I guess it's old Chop Chop...

doing his bit for tourism Victoria.

She's alright Chopper.

She's behind the letter

writing protest to the governer.

Isn't she boss?

She'd be writing a few letters of

protest if I ever got my hands on her.

Oh really Bucky? Can I

introduce you to a friend of mine?

Get the camera over to Bucky.

Bucky, get over here.

Here he is, young Bucky.

Show her tatto Buck. Hoik it up!

"King Kong" and why's he got that?

Voila! Copycat!

Isn't that bloody pathetic?

If you wanna be like

your uncle Chop Chop...

get them ears chopped off! Now get

outta here, they're interested in me.

Go on piss off, get out!

Get the bloody camera...

Don't worry about Bucky.

What is this?

I haven't got all day!

Continue! Roll along.

So, how would you

describe yourself now?

Just a bloke.

Just a good bloke down on his luck.

You don't seem out of luck to me.

You've written a best-seller.

Yeah I know...

and I can't even bloody spell.

What about those poor bloody

academics, those college graduates...

battling their guts out to

write some airy-fairy piece of...

exaggerated artwork.

And there's a bloke,

sitting in a cell, who can't spell,

and he's written a best-seller.

It's sold 250,000 copies.

And it's still selling

And he's writing another one!

And I can't even spell!

I'm semi-bloody-illiterate.

They must hate my guts eh?

- Have you got all your stuff?

- Yeah.

So what do you reckon?

We entering Logie country or what?

Jana Wendt look out!

We can send you a

rough cut before we go to air.

No, that's alright. Anything I say

would just be bloody fiddling anyway.

I'm sure i'll be very happy with it,

i'm sure it'll be exactly what I want.

Absolutely.

It'll be very good won't it?

He is Australia's most feared criminal.

Self-styled crime commando who...

terrorised, tortured and murdered

dozens of drug dealers and armed robbers

on the streets of Melbourne.

He is, of course,

Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read.

He is also a best-selling author.

- And I can't even bloody spell!

- ...this exclusive interview.

Mark Read says he's

committed 19 murders...

but he's only ever been charged

with one and he was acquitted of that.

Nevertheless, he's much

of his adult life behind bars...

the rest on the street disposing of...

what he calls, "Human Filth".

Did you really cut people's toes off?

My word, yeah.

You see to it with the bolt cutters

they come to it every time.

- They love it.

- They love it?

Well they don't like it,

they scream a lot, but I liked it.

Yeah, I like cutting off their toes.

What did you like about it?

You know,

the way these just... pop off.

You've got the money...

and you're going to kill them, so

when do these good manners kick in?

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