Chozen Page #5

A joint comes around, Chozen takes a pull.

CHOZEN:

(holding in the smoke)

Oh yeah, that’s cool. You lookpretty comfortable all nestled inthat bean bag. I’m Tracy’s brother,

I’m a rapper, but she probablyalready told you.

JEREMY:

Nope.

CHOZEN:

Well, I am. I like your shirtplayer, it fits yo little musclesnice. Make me a muscle.

27.

Jeremy goes to leave, Chozen puts his hand on his chest andwhispers in his ear.

CHOZEN (CONT’D)

I can take you any time I like.

Never forget that.

Jeremy wriggles away. Chozen approaches the wannabe DJ.

CHOZEN (CONT’D)

Hot beats, but I like them jeans

more.

Chozen rubs the DJ’s leg, he uncomfortably scurries off.

CHOZEN (CONT’D)

Don’t be scared homey, sharing

fashions can be cool!

Chozen looks to the empty couch, plops down on it and fiddleswith the TV REMOTE.

ON TV:
A PAY PER VIEW ORDERING PROMPT- “GI. JOE RISE OF COBRA

$10.99” We see a BUY BUTTON on the screen LIGHT UP

Chozen unbuckles his pants, awkwardly pulls them down, andgrabs some KLEENEX from the coffee table. He leans back andhis hand starts wandering towards his underwear

TRACY (O.S.)

Phil!

RECORD SCRATCH. Chozen looks around to see Tracy, red faced.

Everyone else in the party is in shock.

CHOZEN:

Hey yo Trace. You know what wouldbe delicious right now? F***in’

popcorns.

Tracy rushes to Chozen, grabs his arm. Pulls him into-

INT. TRACY’S DORM- KITCHEN

TRACY:

What are you doing?!

CHOZEN:

What you mean? This is a party,

ain’t it?

28.

TRACY:

You’re drunk, you’re a mess, andyou lied to me about renting thatdumb movie.

CHOZEN:

Not dumb.

TRACY:

Seriously Phil, what the hell? I’mtrying to help you out and you’reblowing it, again!

CHOZEN:

What you mean? I’ve never let youdown before.

TRACY:

You got locked up when I was 9,

left me without a brother! You were

my hero! I was so proud, seeing youup there on the stage. But now? Ijust don’t know who you are!

INT. TRACY’S DORM/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Tracy runs crying into her room, slamming the door. Party-

goers start leaving.

CHOZEN:

Don’t worry about Tracy, she’ll bealright. It’s just that time, youknow? She be making eggs and bloodand stuff, feeling all gross andemotional. It’s disgusting.

EXT. CITY STREET - MORNING

Chozen walks disheveled, drunk, eyes puffy, BOTTLE in hand,

CIGARETTE DANGLING. You can tell he hasn’t slept. He comesupon a line of kids. He follows the line to a record store.

EXT. RECORD STORE - MORNING

The windows of the store are plastered with a huge photo ofPhantasm, SIGN reading “DA NEW ALBUM: HOT PLAYA, OUT NOW.”

Chozen cuts the line and walks in.

29.

INT. RECORD STORE - MORNING

It’s all Phantasm in the record store. TV’s play a MUSICVIDEO showing Phantasm dancing around hoochies and throwingup money. Chozen approaches a big cardboard cut out ofPhantasm. He puts his bottle down, and in a flash pulls aSHANK from his waistband, stabs the cut out twice in the

stomach, once in the face. A FEW KIDS film the whole scene on

their cell phones, giggling. As Chozen exits the store hegrabs a SMOOTHIE from the hand of a kid on line.

EXT. RECORD STORE - MORNING

Chozen dumps his booze in the smoothie cup, drops the bottleto the ground with a SMASH. A few steps down the street henonchalantly drops the shiv in a storm drain.

EXT. ESTABLISHING. SYNAGOGUE PARKING LOT - MORNING

INT. SYNAGOGUE MEETING HALL - MORNING

Ricky and Crisco set up gear. They wear LEATHER YARMULKES andMATCHING JUMPSUITS. CATERERS ready tables. A FAT JEWISH BOYin a SUIT watches them from the dance floor, bored. The guysrun cables to mic stands when MR. STEINBAUM (40’s. Lean),

pissed off, rumbles up to the foot of the stage.

MR. STEINBAUM

Get out!

Ricky and Crisco jump a bit, caught off guard.

MR. STEINBAUM (CONT’D)

Pack up all your crap and leave,

now!

CRISCO:

Whoa, whoa. Hold up. What’s theproblem sir.

MR. STEINBAUM

The problem?! The problem is youtwo! You’re disgusting!

Ricky cowers behind his decks.

CRISCO:

Okay, I’m confused, what

30.

MR. STEINBAUM

A concerned parent called me thismorning, and thank God he did. Isaw your website. You should beashamed of yourselves!

On Fat Jewish Boy wagging his finger “no.” Ricky pops openthe LAPTOP in his DJ rig.

MR. STEINBAUM (CONT’D)

You have 5 minutes or I’m callingthe cops!

RICKY (O.S.)

Uh oh.

Crisco runs up behind the decks, looks at the laptop screen,

his eyes go wide.

ON LAPTOP SCREEN: We see the KOOL KIDZ WEB-SITE. There is a

picture of Chin and Crisco, but different bodies have beenshittily photo-shopped on. Ripped muscles, speedos withboners. Text at the bottom of the screen reads “WE LOVE KIDS,

WE’LL TEACH YOU HOW TO KISS.”

RICKY (CONT’D)

Oh no.

Ricky clicks furiously his laptop. He shakes his head indisbelief.

RICKY (CONT’D)

The whole week is cancelled, all

our bookings!

CRISCO:

What kind of bullshit is this man,

maybe someone hacked us?

RICKY:

Obviously. But who would-

DING! The e-mail inbox on the computer rings. Ricky clicks.

ON LAPTOP SCREEN: An e-mail opens from UNKNOWN ADDRESS. Thetext reads “I’m still here b*tches. I learnt how to use

photoshop. Your life sucks, You’re welcome. P”

The guys look up, dumbfounded, The Fat Jewish Boy standsthere making Chinese eyes at them, giggling.

31.

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - DAY

Chozen walks through campus. His shirt looks like it’s beenpuked on and the front of his pants are soaked. He passes aSorority car-wash. Girls in bikinis, soaping up cars, fratguys drinking.

JIMMY(O.S.)

Mmm, hmm, just a little more soap.

There it is!

Chozen looks to some bushes and sees half of Jimmy’s headsticking up.

CHOZEN:

Hey Jimmy.

JIMMY:

Shhhh, be cool man, don’t ruin myspot. Come here!

Chozen heads over to the bushes, crouches down with Jimmy.

JIMMY (CONT’D)

Check these out.

Jimmy turns the camera towards him. Shots of soapy girls.

JIMMY (CONT’D)

Moist sorority chonch dot net. I’mgonna make a killing!

Chozen, despondent, can’t be bothered with the camera.

CHOZEN:

Cool, I guess.

JIMMY:

Someone sh*t in your Wheaties?

CHOZEN:

Worse. 2 guys, 1 girl, 3 shitstotal. My old crew punks me out,

and then my sister be talking about“losing her faith in me.” So here Iam, drinking an alcoholic smoothie,

hiding behind a bush with a grownass man. Normally this would be acool thing, but right now it sucks.

JIMMY:

Well, what are you going to aboutit besides act like a p*ssy?

32.

CHOZEN:

I’m gonna play the show tonight,

that’s what.

JIMMY:

Ha, not like this you’re not. Itlooks like you got into a fistfight at a bukkake party.

Chozen drunkenly scans his clothing. Sniffs his shirt, pullsback at the stench.

CHOZEN:

You think you could help me out?

JIMMY:

I could, but that’s a manager’sjob. I’ve always been more of aroad hog, ya know?

CHOZEN:

I’ll give you my sister’s meal cardfor a week.

JIMMY:

Deal! Let’s get to work.

MONTAGE:

Jimmy and Chozen walk through the mall with bags.

Jimmy helps Chozen set up Facebook and Twitter.

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