Christmas in Connecticut Page #2

Mrs. Lane's farm and her home life are

something we have no right to intrude on...

I only ask two things of my editors.

Print the truth and obey my orders.

I expect Mrs. Lane at 4.

Elizabeth? This is Dudley.

I think I'd better have lunch with you.

It's important.

Well, then I'll come over now

and see you.

From my living room window

as I write...

...I can look out across the broad

front lawns of our farm...

...like a lovely picture postcard

of wintry New England.

In my fireplace, the good cedar logs

are burning and crackling.

I just stopped to go

into my gleaming kitchen...

...to test the crumbly brown goodness

of the toasted veal cutlets in my oven.

Cook these slowly.

Come in.

- Miss Lane?

- Yes.

Thank you very much.

- Merry Christmas.

- Same to you, miss.

- Felix.

- Hello. Your breakfast.

Felix, you shouldn't.

Not in this weather.

All the way from the restaurant

with no hat or coat. You'll catch cold.

Pishy-poshy.

In Budapest, this was summer.

Anyway, it's just around the corner...

...and anyway, if it wasn't for you,

I wouldn't got no restaurant.

Oh, you paid that back long ago.

This is interest. I'm...

Gee, I knew it.

Such breakfast. Sardines.

You mad at your stomach, darling?

Come here and let me see.

Oh, yummy. Mushroom omelet.

Did you write up those recipes

for next month's article?

- Yes.

- What am I cooking?

Look here.

Breast of gray dove,

saut with peaches grenadine...

...no points, chicken soup

with Moselle wine, no points.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

- And you can...

Lizk!

- What's the matter?

- That coat! What's the meaning?

Don't worry. I'm paying for it myself.

It'll take my next six months' salary.

Nice, isn't it?

Six months' work for a coat?

All my life, I promised

myself a mink coat.

You know, Felix, it's very important

to keep promises, especially to yourself.

- Do you have to promise so expensively?

- But I needed it.

You need it? Nobody needs

a mink coat but a mink.

You don't know what a mink coat

does for a girl's morale.

Yes, the morale, I know.

I had a silk hat once in Budapest.

A silk hat. It made me feel so fine.

And then I insulted the maitre d'htel

and got fired with a silk hat.

Come on, eat.

Mink outside, sardines inside,

that's no good too.

Oh, this is marvelous.

You know, Felix, some time

I'm gonna take time out...

...and learn to cook like you do.

- No, no, no, no.

- No?

- No, no, darling.

Then you would find out

it is not the way you write now.

All easy and fun and...

- Don't cook.

- All right.

I have to go, darling. Goodbye.

Thanks a million.

- Oh, hello, Felix.

- Hello. Goodbye. Merry Christmas.

Don't mention it.

- Hello, Dud.

- Hello, Liz. We're in a jam.

Something terrible is about to happen.

- What?

- Yardley wants to see you right away...

...at his home on Long Island.

Maybe he wants to give me a raise

for Christmas. I've helped circulation.

- No. It's not a raise.

- You look frazzled. You want a drink?

No. No, thanks. Now, it's really nothing

to be nervous about. Not a thing.

Don't be silly.

I'm not nervous. I feel fine.

Well, you won't in a minute.

Now get this. Some fool nurse

at a Naval hospital...

...wrote to Yardley asking him to invite a

wounded sailor to your farm for Christmas.

My farm?

Oh, oh, yes, my farm.

Oh, my farm.

And he wants to see you

to arrange it.

Are you crazy?

Where am I going to get a farm?

- I haven't even got a window box.

- We'll have to stall him off.

You know what a stickler he is

for the truth.

If he ever finds out we've been making

all this up, he'll fire the both of us.

Well, it's been nice knowing you.

It's really not as bad as it sounds, Liz.

All you have to do is to go out there and tell

him that your child has whooping cough.

Say that you couldn't possibly

entertain anyone for Christmas.

- Your husband wouldn't like it.

- Oh, yes. Yes, my husband.

Of course, simplest thing in the world.

You go out and tell him.

You're a much better liar than I am.

Oh, no, Liz. He wants to see you.

And when Yardley wants something,

he gets it or else.

I'd rather get fired

than face that old battle ax.

Yes, but what about me?

Remember, I have a wife

and a family to support.

You're not gonna let me down

after all I've done for you?

Oh, all right. I'll go.

Let's see, whooping cough

or maybe scarlet fever.

- It's a better color for Christmas.

- Anything. Only call off the sailor.

Now if you put this over,

I'll get a raise for you. I swear I will.

The things a girl will do for a mink coat.

Come in.

- Well, here I am.

- Hello, John.

An hour early,

but the early bird catches the worm.

- Thanks.

- Don't mention it.

Why are you so early?

I took an earlier train.

That much longer to be with you.

Sloan, go away. We're in conference.

Don't mind Dud today.

We're in a little trouble.

If there's anything I can do for you...

...just say the word.

You know how I feel.

No. How do you feel?

Tell us all about it. Say "ah."

Say, what is this?

Go and build those rabbit hutches

or whatever it is you build.

Multiple dwellings.

And I don't build them. I'm an architect.

Go and be it, then. All you want

to do is to propose to Liz again.

- I'll do it for you and get a no for you.

- Now, look here, Liz.

Don't waste time. You have to decide

what you're gonna say to the old man.

- What old man?

- It's Yardley.

- He's sending me a sailor for Christmas.

- Oh, how nice.

A sailor? Really, Elizabeth.

It's just a little trouble we're in.

Yardley thinks I have a farm...

...a husband and a baby in Connecticut.

- A farm, a husband and a baby.

Simple, isn't it?

Well, there's obviously only one thing

for you to do.

Sloan, keep out of this.

I've taken as much

as I'm going to take from you.

Boys, please, stop quarreling.

Come in.

- Mrs. Lane?

- Oh, yes. Put it in there.

Oh, Dud, I wish you'd tell the office

to stop sending those things here.

- Another rocking chair?

- Yes.

- You already have eight.

- Thirty-eight. The rest are in the basement.

Thirty-eight rocking chairs?

I said last month I was searching

in vain through antique shops...

...for a rocking chair like Granny had.

My public is sending me rocking chairs.

And that proves how popular you are.

If you get fired, you'll rob the public

of the finest human-interest feature...

...in the magazine field.

- And Dudley Beecham of his finest job.

All right. Let's get down to cases.

What are you going to say

to the old gentleman?

Well, I'll simply say,

"Of course, Mr. Yardley...

...there's nothing I'd rather do

than invite this man..."

- to spend Christmas on my farm but...

Excellent. I knew you'd feel that way.

After all, it's our patriotic duty, isn't it?

The poor young man spent

18 days on a raft...

...six weeks in a hospital,

and he's never had a real home.

You can imagine how much

it'll mean...

...to have a homey Christmas

with your wonderful cooking.

Naturally, but you see...

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