Chronically Metropolitan Page #5

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What are you, six?

I'm not a clown.

And I never have been.

F***ing Knicks, yo.

Yo, Madison Square Garden is, like,

the Mecca of basketball, is it not?

'73 was a long time ago.

Yeah, it was. Neither

one of us was alive.

I thought you were looking

for a job in there.

Oh, sh*t.

My bad. My bad.

It's just...

Between you and the sports

section, it's hard to concentrate.

On, sh*t.

Do I know you?

Yeah, I'm John.

John Roth.

Remember me?

Should I?

Fenton's friend.

Oh.

Are you always this generous

with Fenton's friends?

Not as generous as you are

with your students, Daddy.

Touch.

Jesus, these Knicks are

worse than a dumpster fire.

It's a shame, too, because when they

won in '73, this was a great town.

Not a mall with

a bunch of tourists.

I was just saying that.

You have experience from '73,

do you, kiddo?

Well, I mean, I was just

looking for a job, but...

Only thing close to what

I was getting at Goldman

is a job in the

sanitation department.

The only difference between

bankers and garbage haulers

is that we need garbage haulers,

'cause we're all

a bunch of pigs.

Lay, you think I'd be

a good garbage man?

You went to Dalton, John.

So did Chevy Chase.

What do you do?

For a living, that is.

He's self-employed.

Doing what?

Um...

I'm in, uh,

alternative health care.

I sell weed.

Oh.

Well, stick with that.

Good morning.

Dad, you running a bed

and breakfast now?

More like a brothel.

Sit down, I made breakfast.

No. I don't have time.

What's your hurry?

Yeah, seriously,

where you going?

I have things to do.

Breakfast is the most

important meal of the day.

I don't think he heard me.

I don't think we are going to be

listening to you anytime soon, Pops.

What are you doing here? Hi.

I, uh...

Look, I just...

Something just happened,

I got some news.

What?

You know what, it's...

It's not important.

I swear it isn't, okay?

I just had to see you.

All right? I didn't like

how the other night ended.

Me neither.

Yeah, so I thought it would be

a good idea to come over here,

you know, unannounced again, and

remind you what a selfish prick I am

before tomorrow happens.

Wait, is that a smile

on your face there?

Are you smiling? You are hallucinating.

I have to go.

Yeah, I get it.

Wedding stuff.

No, work stuff,

and now I'm late.

Why are you, uh... Because

you keep showing up

like the cute...

Thank you very much...

Irish psycho in

Sleeping With the Enemy.

I don't know why you're

working today, Jess.

Because I have to make a living.

You are getting

married tomorrow.

Yeah.

Everything is

pretty much set up.

Victor's with his parents.

The only tradition he seems to believe

in is not seeing me the night before.

And I really don't want

to see my parents, so...

Thought that I should work.

Let me come with you?

No, that's crazy.

Hey, Stash.

- Stash?

- You're late.

I'm sorry, it's his fault.

Nice going.

Now I'm running late.

Well, I can come back.

No, no, no, no.

Selections I laid out

for you, over here.

Ruined my day here.

Have to try and get 20 naked Czech

models to do what I want them to do.

Hmm.

Ciao, ciao.

"Ciao, ciao."

He's an artist.

Oh.

God, you are still the same.

So judgmental.

Okay.

Yeah, maybe I'm still

a little judgmental.

But...

You remember the day that

you gave me your freckle?

I'm just curious,

is it still mine

or did you give it

to somebody else?

Or...

Yeah, sure.

Well, that one's great.

Yeah, it is.

It's beautiful.

You remember our road trip?

How could I forget spring break?

Yeah, all our friends went to Mexico,

and you took me to Des Moines, Iowa.

Mmm-hmm.

On a photo safari.

I got some great images.

I got butter sculptures.

Well, I mean, I'm not sure that

that qualifies as a great image.

The melting David.

I don't know,

Michelangelo would

have been proud.

I've still got the, uh...

That picture you took

of the cornfield in my...

Um...

In my room.

You ever do anything

with the rest of those?

I thought you were going

to show them or something.

Someday.

Yeah, you should, you know.

You're serious about that now?

You know, I always thought that

you were going to be the one.

I was so sure of it.

We had something...

Really wonderful, for a while.

And then you had to f*** it up.

No, Fenton, don't.

Wait, stop.

This is wrong.

What? No.

Oh, my God.

I have to go.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Jessie, hold up.

Hey!

Sh*t.

What?

I don't think you

should get married.

I love Victor.

I love you, Jess.

Jesus Christ, Jessie, we just

broke up, like, a year ago.

A year and a half.

We just made love.

No, we f***ed.

Jess, you're making a mistake.

Yeah.

I did make a mistake,

a huge one, with you.

What, you thought my mistake

was marrying Victor?

That's something I'll find

out with him, Fenton.

Something you have

nothing to do with.

I mean, what'd you think was going to

happen, I would just wait for you?

No.

Yes.

No, I don't know what I thought.

You left me.

Yeah, I know I did.

And I was there for you,

even after what you wrote about

us in that stupid story.

"The tragically pretty,

"comfortably affluent girl,

so riddled with insecurity

"she'd rather sell other

people's art than make her own."

Do you remember writing that?

Look, I f***ed up.

Wow. You're being

way too kind to yourself.

You ruined my family.

No, I exposed a failed marriage.

It wasn't yours to expose!

But I wasn't even writing

about your parents, Jess!

All right?

It was mine!

God damn it! It's like, all this

time, everybody is up my ass

because they think that every

character in the story is them.

That's because everyone knows

you use your gift of observation

just to hurt people.

Wow.

Look, I made a mistake, Jess.

No. You made a choice.

And I've made mine.

F***.

F***.

F***.

F***.

F***.

Layla!

Layla!

Oh, f***.

What's going on in there?

F***. I had some pages right here, some

new pages, and now they're missing

and I need to tear them

to shreds.

Sh*t.

F***.

I have them, and I read them.

What?

They're good.

Yeah, they're not yours to read, Dad.

I know.

But they're good.

Cheer up, cheer up.

Come on, what's the matter

with you, you're all so antsy.

Yeah, I just...

Look, I just slept with Jessie.

Sh*t.

That's a big f***ing deal.

Her wedding is tomorrow.

That's not good.

Do you remember the

last time we did this?

What?

Took a walk together?

Yeah, Ewing was still

playing for the Knicks.

Oh, well...

See, that's not good.

Have a seat next to me.

No, I don't really feel

like a pep talk today.

I wasn't planning

on giving you one.

Come on, sit down

next to your old man.

You're a good writer, Fenton.

I'm loving your new stuff.

Really?

Yeah.

Especially love that character

of the dissolute novelist

who's cheating on his wife.

It's the same kind of sh*t that got me

in so much trouble in the first place.

And it's precisely what gives

you so much potential.

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