Chuck Page #6

Nope, not me. You. You're going someplace.

Now. Today.

F***.

What are you talking about?

I don't want you in my house anymore.

I don't want you near my kid.

You stink, Chuck. Okay?

You stink like leftover p*ssy.

It's making me sick.

- I'm taking Kimberly, and I'm going.

- What?

And when I come back, you're gone. Okay?

- Phyll, wait a minute.

- No.

Now, hang on a second. Just...

You're gone. That's all.

Listen, Phyll, please. I...

I...

I can't even f***in' think straight

right now. My head hurts so much.

You wanna talk about hurt,

you live five minutes in my shoes.

Then we can talk about hurt.

What are you doin', AI?

I got three words for you, bubala.

Andre the Giant.

What about him?

You're gonna kick his freak show

keister, that's what about him.

I just got off the horn with Vince McMahon.

He's talking about doing a mixed match,

wrestling and boxing.

- Wrestling?

- Yeah.

What's the matter?

You can't get me a legit fight?

Look, you wanna keep working,

you're gonna have to stay famous.

And dancing around

with a giant in Shea Stadium,

that's not gonna hurt anybody.

Chuck Wepner, Garden State Goliath!

Shea Stadium?

Yeah.

A crowd of 50,000 plus.

Lucky day.

Lucky man.

Hey, AI?

Yeah.

Is it real?

What?

Wrestling, they fight for real?

What's so funny?

I don't f***in' know.

Andre the Giant?

I don't think Wepner's

gonna be able to get to him!

Andre now has him!

Hanging a right to the kidney now!

Andre has him,

but doesn't know what to do with him!

He can't get out of a head lock.

Linda!

Tell him that'll cost a beer.

I think Andre showed a little mercy

by just kind of dumping him down.

The 49th Annual Academy Awards.

Live from the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.

And the winner is

John G. Avildsen for Rocky.

All right!

Oh, my goodness.

I guess what Rocky did was

give a lot of people hope.

And there was never a better feeling

than doing that.

And the winner is

Rocky.

Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff, producers.

Yeah! What the...

Holy...

Chuck.

Hey, Flo. How you doin'?

Well, Chuck, come on in.

- That's for you.

- Thank you.

It's called a mother-in-law's tongue.

I thought that was funny.

Don! It's your brother.

It's Chuck.

What?

Your brother, you sh*t bird.

What the f***?

Hey, Donny.

What are you doin' here?

What, no "hello"?

Hello. What are you...

- What's the matter? What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Nothing's wrong. Everything's great.

I got something in the kitchen. Excuse me.

- You got some glasses, Flo, for...

- Yeah.

Thanks.

- You look good.

- What's going on?

You don't know, do you?

Don't know what?

The awards!

The f***in' Academy Awards, you goon!

I don't really watch that sh*t.

You didn't see it?

No, I didn't see anything.

We won.

Who won, you?

Yeah, me. Rocky. Rocky won.

So?

What do you mean "so"?

It's me. I'm him.

- Who's you?

- Rocky. It's my life.

Without me, there's no Rocky, Don.

Okay.

So?

What's with the f***in' "so," Don? I...

So, never mind, you know.

All right. You know, you don't get it.

- I gotta go.

- All right, Chuck.

- How's the kids?

- Kid.

We got one kid.

Yeah, I know. How is she?

He.

- Jesus.

- Yeah.

It's like that, right?

Chuck, what...

What the f*** are you doin' here?

Why'd you come?

I don't know.

I just wanted to celebrate.

Thought I'd come say hi.

The movie?

Yeah. My life, you know?

My lucky day on the big screen,

Academy Awards, Oscars, you know?

It's nothin' to you.

It was a big f***in' deal.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

What's his name? The boy, your boy.

What, you talking about your nephew? Danny?

That's it. I... I knew that.

Tell him I said hello.

Tell him the champ was here and...

You know.

Chuck, you...

What are you doing?

You... You wanna stay for dinner?

You can stay for dinner.

No, I can't. I got people.

Some other time, though.

See you, Donny.

Hello. Yeah, hi. I'd like the number for

United Artists in Hollywood, please.

Hollywood.

Hey, Mr. Stallone,

I'm sorry to bother you, but you know...

Hey, Sly, my name's Chuck Wepner.

I just wanna say I'm a big fan of all your...

Hey, Sly. How are you?

My name's Chuck Wepner.

I just wanna say

I'm a big fan of all your movies.

You know,

Rocky, that was, you know...

Yeah, hi, this is Chuck Wepner.

I'd like to speak to

Sylvester Stallone, please.

Wepner.

W-E-P-N-E-R.

Yeah. Yeah, I think he knows who I am.

Listen, you ever heard of Rocky?

Hello?

Hello?

Motherf***er.

It wasn't the money, I just wanted to

meet the guy, you know?

It's like having a twin out there

in the world that you never met.

So, what did he talk about? P*ssy?

I bet that guy cleans up, huh?

John, please. Sly's discreet.

That's how it is in Hollywood.

- You don't talk about that stuff.

- Of course.

Besides, guys who get it,

- they don't talk about it.

- Yeah.

Me and him, it's professional, you know?

We talk about the Ali fight, my strategy,

I give him tips.

You gave him tips?

You didn't hear that from me, all right?

- Yeah, but that's cool!

- I'm not supposed to

talk about that, John.

- All right, but what do they talk...

- Will you wait a second?

We go in here, can you just...

- Why are you nervous?

- Just...

I mean...

Stallone was an off-limit kind of guy,

but I had a friend worked in

the liquor business in New York.

He knew where Sly was hanging out,

so we told the bartender

to give me a heads-up.

I appreciate that.

Sorry, sir,

we're closed for a private function.

Yeah, I know.

How you doin'? I'm Chuck Wepner.

How can I help you, Mr. Wepner?

You follow boxing?

Rocky? Tell Sly, Chuck's here.

- I can handle this.

- He should know.

Would you mind telling Mr. Stallone that

Chuck Wepner's here?

Is he expecting you?

What?

Is he expecting you?

Yeah. Yeah, he's expecting us.

Hang on just a minute.

Is that him?

Put your f***in' hand down.

Yeah. No sh*t.

Oh, my God!

Hey, come here.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- What?

Do me a favor.

Just hang back here a minute, okay?

- What? Why?

- Give me a moment alone

with Stallone, all right?

Tough guy. Tough motherf***er. Yeah.

I cannot believe my eyes.

Chuck Wepner.

How are you, Sly?

Better now. I been wanting to meet you

- for a long time, Champ.

- Thank you.

- It's an honor.

- Me, too.

Hey, meet the guys, all right?

- Hey, guys, you know Chuck Wepner.

- How are you?

Hey, everybody! Chuck Wepner!

How are you? No. Please.

Hey. Hey, look, Sly, I hope

you don't mind. I didn't mean to...

Come here. Come here. Hey.

Turns out, my twin had been

wanting to meet me, too.

He even gave me a script for

the new Rocky movie he was making.

Ching Weber, get it? Ching Weber,

Chuck Wepner? It's good, right?

Hollywood doesn't do a sequel

unless it's a sure thing.

This is a sure thing. Like chicken vindaloo.

Ching says, "Couldn't you think of

anything tougher to say

"than, 'Oops, no stones'?"

I mean, come on,

how f***in' good is that? Right?

- It's pretty great.

- You know?

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