City Island Page #3

knew my b*tch mother.

Well, I got to admit your mom

can be difficult sometimes but...

but she was also...

drunk and a whore.

Why do you call her that?

She used to punish me

when I booze in cases of Vodka

from the liquor store I worked

at by screwing my friends

which makes her

drunk and a whore.

Don't you have any

fun memories of her?

Well, she was always around,

my father left before I was born.

What do you know about him?

- He's dead.

That's too bad.

The only thing that's too

bad is that I didn't get a chance...

to visit his deathbed and

dance in his ugly face

for leaving me with that b*tch.

Okay, let's go!

I'll go with a handcuff?

- I'll unchain you in a minute.

I don't want you running away before I show

you what kind of setup I did for you.

Run away, why would I do that?

You said this was a house.

This is it.

I started fixing it a couple of years ago

but I got busy with other things.

Here's the deal:
You're gonna

help me put a bathroom in here.

Excuse me?

A bathroom. My wife always wanted

a bathroom and as I figured...

you know, I saw in your sheet

you're a handy man.

Once you're through, I'll pay you a fair wage

You can go wherever the hell you want

with a few bucks in your pocket. That's the deal.

How am I supposed to build

a bathroom with handcuffs on me?

Don't go running away from me, Tony.

Coz if you do, I'm gonna personally

come after you. Understand me?

I'll throw your ass back in the cage.

And this time they ain't gonna be kidding.

They're gonna put you away

for a long stretch, you understand me?

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, whatever.

Why don't you try: "Okay, Vince

I promise you that"?

Okay Vince, I promise you that.

Why don't you try...

"Thank you Vince for getting

my ass out of the cage."

Spit it out.

Thanks for getting me out of the cage.

- You're welcome.

And don't be talking sh*t about your

mother she wasn't perfect but she was...

...she was a good lay.

Yeah, whatever.

Sh*t, my wife.

Is that what you call her?

Sh*t, my wife.

I don't smoke.

- Yeah, I can tell.

Whatever you do just don't

mention the prison thing.

Just say we're old friends.

Are we in a bowling team together?

My daughter's back from college

so you better take it easy.

And don't mention that I knew

you mother. It's bad news.

I'll tell you when you can come out.

Anybody home?

- I'm here.

So is dad, he's out back,

handcuffed to some biker dude.

...been back there for quite

some time. Bullshit.

You bring some filthy

biker into my house

without even so much as asking me.

- He's not a biker, he's a nice young man...

he's gonna be working for his board.

- Where did you meet this guy anyway?

He's getting out of jail in a month.

I told them I will take responsibility for him.

Oh my God, Vince.

What? You just pick that con at random

and bring him into my house?

I don't pick no con at random,

I happened to know his mother.

What?

His mother, I happened

to know his mother.

What do you mean?

Who was she?

Mom, now you think he never knew

any woman before you? Calm down.

Are you serious?

- I knew his mother. She was like a...

No! No! No!

...because it's my house!

- He cannot stay here, Vince!

Do you understand me?

Before we go on, I'd like

to thank my beautiful wife, Joycie

for this special dinner

that she prepared.

Yeah, it looks great, Mom!

Thank you.

I like to welcome

Tony to our table.

Good times ahead. Nothing but

good, sweet, breezy times.

Plus the food is gotta be

like at least marginally...

better than that sh*t

they serve in jail, right?

What's the matter with you?

My peptic ulcer!

You have to watch it!

-- Vinnie, shut up.

No, yo, you shut up, get off my ass.

What're you gonna do?

Vince tells me that he was

friends with your mother.

Yeah, a long time ago, I guess.

I guess so.

Well, I never heard about it.

It was because...it was

before we met, sweetie.

He says she was a very nice

woman, good looking too, I bet.

Here we go.

Mom, Dad's right, why don't

we just be upfront here...

come out with it, just ask him

if he had sex with this woman.

Apologize to me.

That's my brain tumor.

Well, he does have a point.

With all due respect, it is

what you were getting at.

I don't care if you had

sex with her or not.

Why are you two

gaining up on me?

Come on, Joycie...

you know, after 20 years I know

where you're going before even you do.

Well, that must be very

boring for you, Vince. Really.

Who knew that I was failing to keep

you entertained all these years.

Mom, he didn't mean it like that.

- You're taking his side too now?

I'm not taking any sides.

I'm just saying...

You know, dad says some things

in stupid ways sometimes.

In a stupid way? Now your dad is

stupid for some reason all of a sudden?

I meant you said it

in a stupid way.

You just said that I

was sounding stupid.

You might talk to your colleagues,

to your college friends but...

you don't talk to your father like that.

- Well, you blame her for a real education.

I'm not saying anything about it,

I'm just saying she can't talk to me...

Why? Do you have to bring college into it?

- No, you brought college into it!

Stop, guys!

Just stop.

She's telling I'm stupid in the

front of the dining room table.

Dad, stop!

Want some cheese?

- Yeah, sure.

Okay Vivian, I've got

to ask you a question.

What?

Are your breast continuing

to grow? Because...

and this is to my endeavor, way bigger.

- What are you doing?

How dare you talk

to your sister like that?

Get in my room? Pretty lame, mom.

It's a little old school.

Don't talk to your

mother like that.

Go to your room, right now.

- I like this family. This is nice.

My room's got everything.

Everything I need is in my room.

Hey, you want me to get up?

I'm getting up.

It's not my punishment.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm leaving.

Unbelievable.

What?

Vince?

What?

He does have a point there, sweetie.

I mean...

It does seem to be getting

larger in that area.

Jesus, dad!

What's the matter with you?

Where're you going?

That girl buries her head

in her books, 18 hours a day.

She comes home for a little

quality family time...

and you gotta go and screw it up.

What's screwed up? I'm just saying they're

getting larger. 'twas a compliment.

Oh my God!

What's the matter with you guys?

- Inappropriate!

I'm inappropriate? I'm the guy here

who's trying to hold this thing together.

What's the matter with you guys, huh?

The hell with this.

The hell with all of you's.

Dinner was great.

Thank you.

Hey, Molly.

Yeah, it's me. Vince.

I'm calling you on a whim.

Spring break over?

Just out here to watch the show.

Take off early tonight, split a sh*t with me.

Highly unlikely. Agent

Invasion is out of force.

Sh*t, I could've cleaned up this week.

Have a drink.

My husband thinks I quit.

One good thing about the joint.

They don't let you smoke anymore so...

I quit inside.

Being in prison and

not being able to smoke?

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