Clambake Page #5

the advantages of diversification.

"However, acquisition for the sake

of diversification is not profitable.

"Therefore, it is my recommendation we

accept Allied Chemical's generous offer

"and turn over all completed

and incompleted experiments and data

"on our ill-fated hunt

for a glycol oxy-octanoic phosphate."

- You mean Goop.

- Yes, sir, that's what I mean.

Well, if that's what you mean, then say it.

Don't go confusin' me.

Yes, sir. No, sir.

Oh, Mr. Heyward, you will return

the bottles you sent for?

I've included them on the inventory.

Now there you go confusin' me again.

What bottles?

Two days ago you sent Ellie in for the

formulas Scott worked on before he quit...

Before he left.

Oh, that.

- I did what?

- I think I'm going to be sick.

Ellie!

Come over here, child. Sit down.

I wanna talk to you.

You know where my boy is?

Well, answer me, woman!

You know where my boy is? Huh?

Tom?

Tom.

This is the sixth night in a row

you've worked past midnight.

- You can't ski all day and work all night.

- I guess I was more tired than I thought.

I ran into your friend. Told me

you were waiting for that package.

- Oh, thanks.

- He kind of had his hands full.

I think one was a Sally

and the other was a Ginger.

These are the last formulas

I worked on at Heyward.

- You worked at Heyward Oil?

- Remember my job in a lab?

Oh, yeah. Well, why did you leave,

or shouldn't I ask?

That's all right. I quit.

At least I think I did.

I see. By that I mean I

really don't see at all.

- I'll tell you about it sometime.

- Fair enough.

- How's it going?

- I'll know better when I try these with this.

Well, good luck.

- Hello, Mr. Burton.

- Hello, Tom.

- Looks like you could use another hand.

- I could use ten!

- All right. Where do I start?

- Start up front.

Keep the brush moving.

This stuff sets pretty fast.

- So this is it, hm?

- Yep, that's it.

- You really think it's gonna do the job?

- I think so.

- Think so? You haven't tested it yet?

- I haven't got the time.

It takes 24 hours for it to harden.

Doesn't leave any time before the race.

Also, it doesn't leave any room for error.

Well, like I was tellin' somebody

the other day, you gotta have confidence.

- Howdy, gents. What you up to?

- You know what time it is?

Never pass inspection, pardner.

"Pardner", you were supposed to be here

two hours ago. You promised to help me.

A Heyward never goes back on his word.

Your obedient servants.

Line up, girls

I'll show you what to do

This boat will sparkle like a diamond

when we get through

By the numbers

there ain't much time

We're gonna start an assembly line

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

You get the sandpaper

You get the pails

You get the hammer, baby

You get the nails

You get the paint

You get the brush

Cos we're gonna give it

that special touch

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

We got a magic potion

that will help us win

I don't know how to spell it

but dip right in

Glycol oxy-octanoic phosphate

It's the latest scoop

But that's all right, girls

You can call it Goop

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Work the sandpaper

Hammer that nail

Tote that paintbrush

And lift that pail

Get a rhythm going, nice and easy

Come on and use a little elbow greasy

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

OK, girls

When we're all through

I'm gonna tell you what we're gonna do

We'll fall right down and have some fun

And I'm gonna kiss you all one by one

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Wow

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Yow

Oh

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Wow

Cigars? Cigarettes?

Cigars?

- Can I help you, sir?

- Well, now. Howdy, ma'am. How y'all?

Howdy, sir. I said may I help you.

Yes, well...

I think I'll try a few of these here stogies.

Unless I'm mistaken,

you must be Scott's father.

Well, land o' Goshen, course I am.

You know that boy o' mine?

Everybody knows your son.

- I see you both smoke the same brand.

- Yes, yeah... What?

My boy Scott ain't never

smoked a cigar in his life.

- He's my best customer.

- Oh, is that so?

In that case you'd be able to tell me

where he might be at this hour of the day.

I'd say in about four minutes

you could head him off at the bar.

Head him off at the pass, huh?

- The bar?

- Buying drinks for everyone.

This Florida climate sure does

strange things to people, doesn't it?

You mean he's been smokin'?

An' drinkin'?

Anything else?

Looks like I just 'bout

got here in time, don't it, huh?

- There you go.

- Thank you, sir.

Not at all.

Yeah, seems like the daddy's

always the last one to find out.

Cigarettes?

Cigars? Cigarettes?

- Howdy, sir.

- Howdy.

The lady back there said I might be likely

to find a fella name of Scott Heyward here.

- You know him?

- She told you right. You a friend of his?

- You might say that, yeah.

- Name your drink. It's on him.

For Heyward's friends, the elbow bends.

Well, now, ain't that

a mighty pretty, little ditty?

But, if you don't mind, sir, I'd just as soon

have a piece of your best drinkin' whiskey.

We might as well wait together,

Mr. Heyward.

I know you, sir?

Burton's the name. Burton Boat Company.

Remember three years ago

you tried to grab my company?

Oh, yeah!

Of course I do now.

What happened? I thought we had a deal.

We did, until your hard-headedness

bumped smack into my stubbornness.

Well, this boy o' mine, you know,

he's a boat fancier.

So I kinda figured I'd buy up your outfit,

kinda give it to him as a birthday present.

I don't know what he'd do with it.

Seems to me he'd got all he needs,

money to burn, plenty of women,

living it up every day.

Hold on there, Mr. Burton, just a minute.

What's wrong with all you people here?

You know who you're talkin' about,

cos you certainly ain't describin' my boy?

Seeing is believing.

Yeah, well, if I knew what I was seein'

then maybe I could believe it.

- Your boy Scott, right there.

- Where?

Oh, there. Sure enough, there he is.

- Excuse me.

- Wait a minute.

You mean that boy there is your son?

You bet your socks and garters he is.

Yes, sir.

He's the ski instructor here in the hotel.

His name's Tom Wilson.

Friend, I'm not too sure just what it is

you're drinkin' out of this glass here,

but one thing I am sure of,

I do know my own son.

- Mr. Heyward, you and I better have a talk.

- Later, Mr. Burton.

- No, now. It's about your boy. Come on.

- Oh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, pardner.

Been waitin' for ya.

I want you to meet somebody.

This here's Gigi.

Gigi, this here's Monsieur Wilson.

He's my best friend, even if he is poor.

- How do you do?

- Je suis enchante, Monsieur Wilson.

She doesn't speak any English.

I'm gonna teach her all I know.

- Oh, really?

- About English.

- Please, join us, Tom.

- Yes, why don't you? We're democratic.

Thank you.

- Would you care to dance?

- Yes.

What do you say, Dianne?

You'll love the view from my suite.

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